I Dreamt Of Someday
by Isis FG
Summary: B/A fic - 7 years post GD2, post-s6/3, Angel returns to Sunnydale and finds Buffy in and unusual situation with Spike (B/A reunion fic, but also Spike-friendly...angsty, w/happy ending) *COMPLETE*
1. Part 1 Shocked

Title:  I Dreamt of Someday

Author:  Isis Blue

Feedback:  Always appreciated.  Please, no flames, don't blame me if you read a story you don't like because of the ship, or general storyline.  Constructive criticism, however, or endless words of praise are very welcome ;) vagabond_angel@comcast.net

Disclaimer:  If I were Joss, people would be happy, not indulging in puke worthy infatuations and lame storylines.  Does that answer your question???

Rating:  R for sexual references, maybe some violence, and bad language

Pairing:  B/A, of course!  B/S semi-relationship, friendship (i.e. Spike friendly story), also W/X sorta…and possibly some others, but I don't know yet.

Summary:  Set about 7 years after Angel left Sunnydale at the end of GD2.  Angel takes a trip to Sunnydale to see Buffy only to find her living in an unconventional situation with Spike and a few other surprises pop up.  Don't worry, this is a B/A reunion fic!!!

Spoilers:  Everything up to the ends of Seasons 6/3 occurred, including what happened to Spike at the end of Season 6…oh, one thing that didn't happen, no Connor (I think!).  Sorry, the storyline just does nothing for me.  Basically, this jumps cannon after 6/3 although there are a few things pulled from what's happened so far in season 7, nothing descriptive though, won't give away storylines that much.  As for past stuff, not much specific…so far mentions of "Lover's Walk", the post-"Flooded" "Carpe Noctem" meeting, and probably "I Will Remember You", that's all I can think of at the moment.

Dedication:  To all the B/A shippers out there suffering through *stuff* that makes us all want to lose our lunches.  We have to keep believing that in the end, we'll get what we want. (No, I don't actually believe that will happen…wishful thinking I guess)

Distribution:  If you want it, just email me and ask first.

Author's Notes – Just a clarification…I refer to Angel as Spike's sire, I go with the theory that Dru sired Spike but because she was insane Angel became Spike's surrogate sire.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Part 1

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

"Are you sure you want to do this?" questioned Cordelia for about the hundredth time that day.

"Yes, Cordy.  I'm sure.  Even if it changes nothing, I have to tell her, it wouldn't be fair not to," answered Angel.

"I just worry about you.  I don't want to see you get hurt, and that's all that ever seems to happen when it concerns you two.  But I know you'll always love her and that this might just be the chance you've both been waiting for.  I just hope that you don't get your heart broken…again.  I don't think I could deal with weeks of brooding from you," she replied, with more than just a little sarcasm at the end.

"Thanks Cordy…I think.  It'll hurt if she doesn't care, but I still have to do it.  I'll call you when I get there, and you can call me if anything really important comes up, okay?" stated Angel as he finished packing his bag and made his way to the front doors of the Hyperion.

"No prob.  Good luck!" 

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Buffy sat on the roof outside her window and watched as the sun set over the horizon and the darkness of night descended upon her.  She reveled in the slight warm fall breeze that twirled around her bringing about a feeling of peace and content.  Watching the sunset like this had become almost a daily activity for her in the last few months.  No matter what was going on around her, what bad guy was trying to destroy the world, what personal crisis was evolving, no matter what, she could sit out here and just forget it all existed. She could look out at the world, and up at the stars, and just live.

With a sigh, and a last look up to the now dark sky, Buffy crawled back inside the window and into the room she had called hers for the last 10 years.  Instead of climbing the rest of the way into her room, she seated herself on the windowsill and looked over at the bed and the man occupying the left side just as he had for the last 2 years.  As much as she hated to admit it, she was glad that he was there.  If someone had asked her 3 or 4 years ago if this was where she would have ended up, she'd have told them they were absolutely crazy.  But if there was one thing she had learned in her 10 years as a slayer, it was that the world was never predictable, and things pretty much always ended up as you least expected they would.  He was precisely one of those things, but just because it was unexpected didn't mean it was bad.  It wasn't exactly a perfect situation either, but for her, and him as well, it was what they needed for the lives they led and the world the lived in.

As she watched him sleep she saw his face contort in anguish and knew he was once again being plagued by the nightmares.  She hated that it happened to him, but it was expected.  How could it not be when the soul is forced back into a body that had committed innumerable crimes and atrocities?  Their numbers had decreased over time, but they still came, and she hated the pain they caused him.  It didn't seem quite fair, that the soul should suffer for events that occurred when it wasn't even there, and she'd now experienced the aftermath of soul reinstatement in two vampires.

Buffy left her seat on the sill and went over to the bed.  She sat on the edge and placed her hand on his cheek, caressing it lightly with her thumb.  His face slowly relaxed back to its peaceful sleep state.  When she was sure he was once again deep in a dreamless sleep she quietly got off the bed and made her way out of the room.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

After leaving here room, Buffy made her way down to the kitchen and started a fresh pot of coffee.  Once the coffee was brewing, she grabbed a plate out of the cupboard and a cinnamon muffin out of the basket on the counter.  Just as she was about to sit down at the counter the doorbell rang.  Placing the plate with the muffin on the counter she made her way to the front door.  As she pulled open the door she was greeted with the last thing in the world she expected to see, the ex that she'd never quite completely gotten over no matter how much time passed.  Neither spoke for a moment, both too caught up in the weirdness of seeing each other after so much time had gone by.  It was Angel who spoke first.

"Buffy…hi," he spoke, a certain amount of shyness in his voice.

"Angel," was all she could manage to squeak out.

"Can I come in?" he requested.

"What?...oh yeah, sure.  Sorry, just wasn't expecting you when I opened the door.

"It's okay.  I'm sorry for dropping by unannounced.  I guess I should have called first."

"No, its okay.  Just a surprise.  Why don't we go into the kitchen?  I have a pot of coffee brewing."

"Sure, sounds good."

They made their way into the kitchen.  Buffy wanted to ask why he was there, but she couldn't quite bring herself to ask.  Mostly likely it was some new danger here to try and exterminate her or trying to open the hellmouth that was always being a pain in her ass.  And even if she did ask she wasn't sure she'd be able to get the words out.  It seemed that seeing him always muttled up her brain and caused all rational thinking she had to fly out the window.  So for now she settled for general niceties that would normally exist between two people who hadn't seen each other in years.

Angel was fairing much the same.  He had come to see her with a purpose, but now that he was there he wasn't quite sure of where to start.  And part of him wondered if he had any right at all to come to her and tell her what it was he had to tell.  She looked good, so obviously her life was going well.  What right did he have to come and stir up the past and make things confusing once again.  That is, assuming what he would tell her would make a difference at all.  For all he knew, she could be happily entrenched in a serious relationship and had completely gotten over the past, their past.  Even so, he told himself, it was still something he was obligated to tell her.

The two stood in the kitchen, each one leaning against a different section of the counter.  Neither knowing quite what to say or do.

"So…," Buffy said, finally breaking the silence.

"So…," Angel replied.

"You want some coffee?" she asked.

"Ok," came his unsure answer.

Buffy started to pour him a cup of coffee but was interrupted by the sound of a cell phone ringing from inside his jacket.

"Angel, and cell phones, who woulda thought," she nervously joked.

"It's probably business, do you mind if I take this somewhere quiet?" he questioned.

"Nope, don't mind, you can go into the den," answered Buffy.

She watched as he left the kitchen and went to the den.  The shock of him arriving at her front door had yet to completely set in.  The last time she had seen him was 4 years or so ago after she was resurrected.  Had it really been that long, she wondered to herself.

As Buffy stood there, she thought back to that meeting so long ago.  Her return from heaven was still heavy in her mind and she was still struggling to get back to life.  And then he had called and wanted to see her.  So she ran off to see him.  They spent hours talking about nothing and everything.  Just reveling in being near each other after they thought they never would be able to again.  As sunrise drew closer they had reaffirmed their love for each other, but both understood that it just couldn't happen.  That they were destined to live apart no matter what they felt.  Though neither actually said it, the meeting had been, in a sense, the goodbye they'd never said.  Both knew they had to try to get on with their lives, lives that no matter how much they wanted it, couldn't be carried on together.  So they left each other that night, for what they both thought was perhaps the last time.  Then again, maybe not, Buffy thought as she stood there leaning against the kitchen sink, staring out into the night and thinking about that meeting 4 years prior.

In the den, Angel spoke on the phone to Cordelia.  She'd called him to see if he had arrived in Sunnydale safely and to see if everything was ok.  He assured her that things were ok, or as ok as they possibly could be.  She also relayed some information on cases to him to keep him up to date before saying goodbye.  He hung up the phone, but continued to sit in the chair.  Why was he so nervous about this, he wondered.  Running a hand through his hair, he stood and went to make his way back to the kitchen.  It was then that he felt another presence in the house.  Wondering, or perhaps nervous, about who else was there, he quietly walked back toward the kitchen, stopping in the shadow just outside of the entrance to watch for who entered.

Buffy was startled out of internal reverie by a familiar kiss on the cheek, bringing her back to the present.  Almost, but not quite, forgetting about her unexpected guest, she settled into her normal routine.

"Morning luv," spoke Spike, in a not quite yet awake voice.

"Morning huh?  Last time I checked, the sun setting meant it was nighttime," she rebutted sarcastically as she turned to face the man standing behind her who was holding a young, auburn haired child.

"Hey sweetie, how was your nap?" she asked the child as she reached to take her from Spike's arms.

"Gooood, I hungy," the child answered.

"Hungry….hungry huh?  Well I guess we'll just have to do something about that then won't we," said Buffy, fake exasperation in her voice as Spike chuckled.

"Is there any coffee, luv," queried Spike.

"Of course, isn't there always cof-," she started to respond, but was cut off when she caught site of Angel standing just outside of the kitchen, mouth part way open in apparent shock of what he was watching.

"You ok, luv, what's wrong?" a worried Spike asked before he turned to look in the direction her eyes were gazing.  Upon reaching their destination, his eyes widened at the sight of his sire staring at them, a somewhat pained expression on his face.  "Angel," Spike said quietly.

"I, uh, I gotta go, uh, thanks for the coffee Buffy," spoke Angel in a shaky voice.  He quickly made his way out of the kitchen to the front door as Buffy stood there not knowing what to do, and damning herself for practically forgetting he was there.

"Go on, go after him.  I'll look after Sierra," Spike said with a sigh as he took the little girl from Buffy."

Buffy didn't answer him, instead looking up into his eyes with an unspoken thank you.  She hurried out of the kitchen and went after her former lover, hoping to catch him before he again disappeared out of her life.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

TBC – feedback is greatly appreciated, promotes more writing


	2. Part 2 Explanations

AN – this part is almost entirely lengthy dialogue, it was necessary though since I chose to write out Buffy talking about the past even the parts that fit with canon

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Part 2

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Buffy ran as quickly as possible out of the house, hoping to catch Angel before he had driven off, possibly forever.  There was so much to be said, and she could only imagine how he was feeling after seeing what he had seen in the kitchen.  She felt bad that her life now had been exposed the way it had, but she also felt a little angry that he would just run off like that.  

Running out onto the porch Buffy saw Angel about to get into his car and yelled to him.

"Angel, wait.  Please," she pleaded.

Angel watched as she strode down the walkway and came to a stop a few feet in front of him.

"Why are you leaving?" Buffy asked in a loud whisper.

"It was wrong of me to come here after all this time.  You don't need me to come in and mess everything up," he responded, although the first thing in his mind was to ask her what the hell she was doing with Spike.

"Isn't that for me to decide?  You can't just keep doing things like this.  I'm not a teenager anymore, Angel.  I can handle the real world, or at least I like to think that I can.  You obviously came here for a reason and now you're just running off.  Which, grant it, I can kinda see why, but I'm not gonna let you.  So we're gonna talk whether you like it or not.  You're gonna tell me what you came to tell me, and obviously there are things that I need to tell you.  And I will tell them to you, whether you want to hear them or not.  But not here.  Why don't we go for a walk, find somewhere to sit?" Buffy requested, hoping he wouldn't put up a fight.

"Honestly, I'd rather not, but I can see you are not going to take no for an answer so I guess I don't have much of a choice.  Let's go," Angel huffed and started walking down the street.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

After a short, silent walk to a nearby cemetery, the former lovers found themselves awkwardly seated across from each other, Buffy against a tree and Angel opposite her against a mausoleum.  The endless silence continued for a few minutes until Angel looked up at her and stared straight into her eyes before speaking.

"Why Spike," he questioned solemnly.

"Couldn't start with an easier question could you, huh?" she half jokingly replied, but seeing that he wanted an actually answer, she sighed and softly shook her head.  "It's not something I can answer in a sentence.  It's not that simple.  Nothing in my life's ever that simple."

"It's not what I wanted for you.  He's not what I wanted for you," was all he could say because it was the honest truth of how he felt, other than the blinding rage that Spike would dare touch what was his.

"No, I suppose not.  It doesn't fit into that cookie cutter type normal life you had all planned out for me."

"I wanted for you what you deserved.  You can't tell me that you don't want a normal happy life."

"Maybe you're right, maybe I do, or at least some point I did.  But Angel, have you ever really thought about that.  I mean really, truly thought about it?  If you had, then you'd have realized what I did quite a while ago," Buffy stated with an audible sigh and stretched her legs out in front of her.  This was going to be a long night of dredging up things that neither of them probably wanted to hear.  

"I'm a slayer, Angel.  It's not something I can push aside, or only be when I want to.  The Slayer is Buffy Summers, and Buffy Summers is the Slayer.  And with that little name tag comes a disclaimer that says 'normal life not included'.  It doesn't matter if I want to be Betty Louise, happy homemaker, wife, and mother.  I can't have that, and really, I don't think I want it.  I've lived my life too long as a slayer to be like that.  I can't sit at home at night playing cards with the family, and personally, it's a little too boring.  And what all-American male am I going to find to have that with?  You may think that the best thing for me is to find some regular joe who can give me sunlight, sex, and kids, but that's where you're completely and utterly wrong.  I've tried that, and it never leads to good things.  

Owen got juiced by adrenaline and craved the danger that almost got him killed. Scott, aside from being an ass, didn't know my secret and dumped me when he didn't like the things he couldn't understand.  Parker…well, let's forget Parker.  And then comes Riley.  Mr. Military Demon Hunter Extraordinaire.  You'd think that would have worked.  He knew my secret, was part of my world and all that, but no.  He never really could accept who I was.  He couldn't accept that I was strong, or acted strong, emotionally as well as physically, and he couldn't accept that I didn't need him to coddle me 24/7.  So he left, leaving me to wonder if romance just isn't meant to be part of my life.  

And if you asked The Council I'm sure they'd say exactly that.  Maybe they're right.  I've had a few dates since Riley, but I never let it go anywhere.  I can't let a normal man into my abnormal life.  It leads to too many questions, and too much danger.  I can't do that to someone, and I can't spend all my time worrying about hiding secrets or about their safety.  Normal guys aren't part of my life, and a normal life is something I'll never have.  I've accepted that, made peace with it, and I live the best way that I can."

After finishing her speech, Buffy leaned her head back against the tree and watched Angel expectantly, knowing he'd find something wrong with her words, something that would still make him think he didn't belong in her world.  She watched him silently, and could tell there were a million thoughts running through his head.  For a few minutes he didn't say anything, just sat there thinking until he found a way to express what was in his head.

"I guess you're right.  I never really did think too much about it.  I wanted so much for you.  I hated seeing what being a slayer did to your life and I wanted you to at least have some things that could make you happy in a normal sorta way.  And I couldn't give you those things.  It's hard to watch someone you care a lot about go through the things you went through.  I just wanted you to have as much of normal as you could have.  But I guess you're right, it's not really something you can have.  You've thought a lot about it, I can tell, and I'm glad you're able to get past it.  You've grown into such a wonderful woman, do you know that?" he posed, not really requesting an answer.  

"But you still haven't answered my question.  Why Spike?" Angel added softly.

"I know, but like I said, it's not something I can explain in 10 words or less, probably not even 200 or less," answered Buffy in an equally soft tone.

"Then start from the beginning.  Explain it to me, all of it.  I've got time," was Angel's slightly anquished reply.  But she knew he didn't really want to be angry with her, he just wanted to understand why she'd made the choices she had.

"The beginning.  Yeah, I guess that's the best place to start.  Better make yourself comfortable, this is gonna take a while…and please, let me just say everything before you get pissed off, or angry, or broody, or whatever.  

I guess ya gotta go back to before my mom died.  Spike had that chip put in his head about a year before that and he was helping us, occasionally, even if he didn't really want to.  But then he started to have this sort of obsession toward me.  He said he was in love with me, was stalking me a bit and all that.  Most of us tried to ignore it.  I mean, come on, how could Spike be in love with me considering he was an unsouled vamp who'd tried to kill us more than once.  But at the same time, he was there when we, I, needed him most…when it came to crunch time with Glory, he was there.  He did his best to protect Dawn, even got himself thrown off a tower trying to keep her safe.  He still blames himself for not stopping the ritual from starting which led to me swan diving into the portal to close it."

"And that's where it started on his end.  For me, it's a little harder to explain, and no where near as simple," began Buffy.  Taking a deep breath and pulling her knees up toward her chest she began the tale of her downward spiral after her return from heaven. 

"When they resurrected me, things were…hard.  And yeah, that's to be expected, but you can't imagine what its like to be pulled out of heaven and thrust back into this world.  All I wanted was to go back to where it was quiet, and peaceful, where I didn't have to worry about the next apocalypse coming at me.  I'd fought for so long, and fought so hard, and then it was over and I could finally rest.  But then I was back, and they were all so happy about what they had done.  They thought they pulled me out of hell and saved me.  I couldn't tell them I'd really been in heaven, it would have destroyed them.  So I kept it to myself and suffered.  

The world was so loud and forceful and harsh.  It was a struggle to get up everyday and face the endless evils.  Plus add into that a little sister to take care of, bills to pay, friends getting married, other friends having personal problems.  I just shut down, turned into robot Buffy, doing what I had to do to get through each day, but never really feeling anything.  And then there was Spike who was the only one who could seem to relate at all to what I was going through, and he was the only one I told about heaven.  I could let go a little around him.  It sorta just snowballed from there.  He could make me feel when nothing else could.  I fought it because I knew what he was and that he couldn't really love me.  It just kept coming back to him though.  

And then this song infecting truth demon came to town and had me blabbing to everyone about heaven, and Giles left, and Willow's problems.  Somewhere in there a few kisses with him led to sex that literally brought a house down.  I was so ashamed afterwards and hated myself.  But it kept happening.  The only time I felt alive was when I was with him.  And at the same time he was destroying me mentally.  For some reason his chip didn't work with post-resurrected Buffy and he could hit me, heh, and I hit him.  It was beyond ugly.  The things we did….but I'm sure you don't want to hear the details.  

But I kept going back because I needed to feel alive, and he kept pushing all my buttons, making me believe I belonged in the darkness with him.  And while all that was going on things were going to hell with every other part of my life.  Dawn was shoplifting, Willow was losing herself in magic, Xander was trying to deal with wedding jitters that eventually led to him leaving Anya at the altar, plus the geek trio making my life hell.  Somewhere along the line I broke things off with Spike, which he didn't take well culminating in him trying to force himself on me and then after I told him that that was why I couldn't ever love him he disappeared from Sunnydale for months.  

After he left, things went to hell fast.  Anya became a vengeance demon again, the geek trio was trying to destroy me, and then Tara was killed and I was shot.  Willow went psychotic, rivaling Angelus in her desire to destroy the world.  We were lucky we all made it out alive.  But somewhere in all that I realized that I wanted to live, I didn't want to die.  That was such a big thing for me because of everything I'd been feeling after coming back from heaven.  After we saved Willow she went off with Giles to try and recover, and the rest of us spent a relatively quiet summer trying to recover ourselves…any questions so far," she ended meekly.

"I had no idea things were that bad," Angel stated, his gaze focused on the ground next to him.

"No you didn't, and I didn't really want to call you for help.  As much as I wanted to, I knew if I called you and you came, it would have only made things harder because eventually you would have had to leave, and I'd have been hurt all over again.  And we weren't exactly, what was it 'living in each other's worlds' anymore were we?  It wouldn't have done either of us any good to go running whenever things got too bad.  Like Giles said when he left that year, I had to learn to stand on my own 2 feet.  It was rough, and I fell, hard, more than once, but in the end I came out standing and that's what matters."

"Its amazing to hear you talk like this, so mature.  You're hardly the girl I remember, but yet you're still the Buffy I fell in love with.  I'm guessing there's more to tell?" Angel asked, looking at Buffy with pride in his eyes.

"There's always more to tell, but most of its been told, though some of the big points are left.  Spike came back to Sunnydale a few months after he left.  I was patrolling one night and heard something in crypt.  When I went in I found him cowering in a corner, starved, and repeating 'I'm sorry' over and over again.  After everything that had happened between us he went on some quest in Africa and came back with a soul."  At Angel's shocked gasp she paused. "Yeah, a soul.  I don't understand it, and I don't think he really understands why he did it, but he says it was his love for me that drove him to it.  

Anyway, after I found him I couldn't just leave him like that, even with what he did to me.  I cared about him, don't ask why or how, but I did.  I brought him back to the house and set him up in the basement.  It was a battle to get him back on his feet again which I guess you might be the only person to really get that.  It took a couple years to finally get him to function on his own, and to help him with the guilt.  Dawn always liked him and she became a good friend to him.  Willow understood the guilt after what she'd done from Tara's death and the magic and she tried to help as best she could.  Xander, was, well typical Xander, but eventually he eased up and tried to accept Spike.  

Nothing happened between Spike and I during that time.  The subject of him loving me before he got his soul back never came up.  I just tried to be a friend and support him.  And then when he was back to more like himself he started to help with patrolling and evil fighting.  We spent so much time together and we talked a lot.  One night he thanked me for everything I'd done for him, and he told me that he didn't really know if his evil self was really in love with me, but that he, as he was now, loved me like a really close friend.  I didn't really have anything to say back to him, it was kinda unexpected to hear.  

As time passed we just fell into this pattern.  We spent so much time together, we lived in the same world and now truly fought for the same cause.  He didn't care about me being a slayer and my strength, and, obviously, the whole vamp with a soul thing wasn't a huge deal for me.  We were there for each other whenever we needed someone.  I guess you could say its just mutual need.  But its not love in the 'in love' sense.  Neither of us really wants to be alone, and we don't have a lot of options, so we're there for each other.  That's just the way things are between us.  And there ends the tale of Buffy's life since we last talked."  

Buffy finished her post-resurrection life story and found that she couldn't force herself to look up at Angel.  She was afraid of what she'd see in his eyes.  She wondered if he'd be angry, or hurt, or worst of all, maybe he wouldn't care.  So she just sat there and looked down at her hands.

"I don't really know what to say.  It's a lot to take in.  I never imagined Spike with a soul," an almost perplexed Angel said.

"Yeah, tell me about it," stated Buffy, stifling a yawn.

"You're tired"

"A little, long day at work, and add on to that long emotional conversations."

"Why don't I walk you back and you can get some sleep."

"What about what you wanted to talk to me about?"

"It can wait, I can stay for a few days.  It obvious there's a lot to be said between us, and it's not exactly something we can do all in one night.  Especially if you're about to fall asleep."

"Are you always so logical?  Of course you are, you're Angel, what else would I expect," ribbed Buffy.

"Come on, I'll walk you back, get some sleep, and I'll come by tomorrow, ok?" Angel said soothingly.

"Ok, works for me," yawned Buffy.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

TBC – feedback is greatly appreciated, promotes more writing


	3. Part 3 Hope

Author's Note:  Not and awfully long part, sorry!  Also thought I'd state for the record, in case anyone was worried, this IS a B/A fic and it WILL have a happy ending.  If I can't get happily ever after in Jossverse, then I'll get it in my, or other's writing.  I am, first and foremost, a B/A shipper to the end.  But even with that being said, I will also say that I am…_fond…of B/S.  I'll always pick Angel over Spike, but given the fact that Joss is evil and won't give us B/A loyalists any glimpse of hope for our soulmates, I'd rather have Buffy be with Spike than with a normal boring guy…think Riley.  And before I get flamed for that, I don't mean the Buffy/Spike from season 6…although I love the raw heat and magnetism between the two then, I hated the darkness to it, the way Spike manipulated and played Buffy's mind.  I like their interaction this season (7) though.  I finished writing this part after watching the most recent ep, "Showtime"… and as hypocritical as it may be for a B/A shipper to say this, I was moved by the B/S related scenes.  So if you're wanting to know why this fic is so pro-Spike, this is why.  Please don't flame for this, its just my opinion.  To each their own, as they say.  It's your choice to read, it's my choice what I write.  That's all.  Enjoy._

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Part 3

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Buffy entered the house, closing the door behind her, and leaned back against it.  She closed her eyes and tried to gather herself back together.  It amazed her that even after so much time had passed, that Angel could still scramble her brain.  Everything between them was always so emotionally charged which wasn't necessarily a good thing, but its also what made it all the more real and passionate.

Taking a deep breath she peeled herself off her perch against the door and continued into the house.  She heard the TV on in the living room and knew that Spike was probably in there watching some cheesy TV show as usual.  Knowing that he'd want all the gory details she made her way into the room.

As she entered, Spike turned off the TV and looked at her expectantly, his left eyebrow raised slightly.

"Don't look at me that way," she half snapped at him.

"I wasn't looking at you any such way, just lookin'," he shot back.

"Whatever," she replied with a wave of her hand and plopped herself down on the couch next to him.  "So I guess you wanna know huh?"

"Only if you wanna tell, I wouldn't stop ya if you wanted to spill," he smirked.

"Not much to tell.  We talked.  JUST talked.  That's it," her monotone voice relayed.

"Talk huh.  Rather dull don't ya think?" queried Spike.

"What? You think we were just gonna jump each other and hump like bunnies.  Please, give me some credit.  I do have some self control," huffed Buffy.

"Uh huh.  So what did you and my poof of a sire talk about?" he posed and then pulled the blanket off the back of the couch after he noticed that the slight fall night chill that had fallen was making her cold.

"Thanks.  Mostly, it was just me talking.  I told him about all the big stuff that's gone on since I last saw him.  There was a lot he didn't know…," she hesitated before continuing.  "all the stuff that happened after I was resurrected, for instance.  And the important points from the last few years…the, uh, relationship type stuff."

"Uhh, should I be making plans to move far, very far away?  I'm not really look for my un-life to end just yet," asked an honestly worried Spike.  He'd known Angelus for quite a long time now, and he'd touched his mate.  That type of treachery was not something that would go unpunished.

"No, I think you're safe.  I don't think he'll try to stake you in your sleep.  I mean, yeah, obviously it's not something he's happy about.  He didn't quite come right out and say it, but I could tell.  The anger was there in his eyes," she closed her eyes, the image burned into her head.

"Don't get all mushy now.  I've seen enough of the Buffy/Angel googley eyes to last me a lifetime," harped Spike.

"You never change do you?  And no, I wasn't making googley eyes," stated Buffy emphatically. 

"Were to," he replied simply.

"Bite me.  No that wasn't an invitation," she said and then corrected herself.

"Like I'd want your blood anyway, probably make me as bitchy as you," he joked and then grinned at her.  "So what now?"

"Beats me.  He's still in town.  We didn't finish talking cuz I was tired.  I still don't know why he came.  We never got around to that.  So he is going to come by tomorrow so we can…talk…some more," responded Buffy, and unintentional slight smile on her face.

"I saw that smile.  Happy about the prospect of more time with the poof are we?" teased Spike.

"I did not smile, you're imaging things…wouldn't be the first time," Buffy shot back, an innocent smile plastered on her face.

"Did to.  But seriously, are you ok?  I know its gotta be hard seeing him.  I remember what it was like when Dru showed back up last year.  So don't tell me you're fine," he stated, eyes cast downward.

"I'm…okay, I guess.  It's hard.  Things were never simple with me and him, as you well know.  Bad things happen, people get hurt, emotional turmoil ensues.  But, yeah, I'm ok.  I mean, I didn't wake up this morning with the expectation of seeing him.  The shock of it all is just, weird.  I don't know if I ever thought I'd see him again," she replied honestly.

"Are you okay with seeing him again?" he questioned.

"Truthfully, I don't know.  Part of me is grateful to see him again, to know that he is ok, and alive, err still undead, and doing well.  But another part fears it because, as I said, when it comes to the Angel and Buffy show, things never go well," answered Buffy, closing her eyes to calm the emotions beginning to stir.

"What if it's different this time?  Do you want that?" he probed seriously.

"I don't know Spike.  I just…don't know," was all she could answer and then leaned her head against his shoulder.

Within seconds she fell fast asleep, worn out from her daily activities and the unexpected emotional drain when her past decided to revisit her.  Spike sighed, and inwardly hoped that things would work out for her.  He couldn't say that he wouldn't be a little hurt if she got back together with his annoying sire because it would diminish the closeness he had with the person he loved, but wasn't 'in love' with.  But, he thought, she deserved happiness which he knew she'd be able to find with Angel.  

Breaking off his internal thoughts, Spike carefully picked up the sleeping slayer and carried her up to their room.  He placed her into the bed, tucked the covers around her, and set the annoying little pig next to her.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Across town, Angel entered the mansion, which he still owned, and retreated to his room.  Almost unconsciously he undressed and prepared for bed even though he suspected that sleep would not be forthcoming.  There were too many things to think about.  He'd learned too many things about Buffy's life tonight, too many things were revealed to allow him to slip into a rejuvenating sleep.

The main thing that continuously insisted on reverberating in his head was that of Buffy…and Spike…Buffy and Spike…together.  Just the thought of it made his stomach lurch.  It was a small consolation that Spike now possessed a soul.  But he was still a vampire, he was still his childe (for all intents and purposes), he was still touching what was HIS.  Angel thought briefly about what Angelus would have done if Spike had committed such a crime against his evil counterpart.  A small smile formed on his face at the ideas of torture that infiltrated his mind.  With an audible groan he pushed them away.  Buffy wasn't his anymore.  As much as he wished he did, he did not have the right to act against their…relationship.

Pulling back the covers, Angel stretched his long muscled body out on the silk sheets.  Memories of Buffy and him intertwined together in the bed wafted into his consciousness.  He closed his eyes and ran a hand over his face in frustration.  The things Buffy told him tonight he never expected.  She'd been through so much, she'd survived, she'd flourished and grown, and he hadn't been there to see any of it.  The woman she was now was self-assured, confident, and accepting of her role in life.  She amazed him even more than before, if that was even possible.

Angel contemplated the other things she had told him, Willow's problem with magic, Xander's brush with marriage, and that she had a job.  She hadn't said what it was, just that she had one.  *That must be a first for a slayer* he mused silently.  *The Council must love that.  That's Buffy, always going her own way.*  Angel's thoughts then wandered to something else he had seen on this very revealing night.  The child, the little girl that Spike had been holding.  Who was she?  Nothing Buffy had said gave him any idea to her identity.  Buffy hadn't even said anything that alluded to a child.  He had more than an idle curiosity about the girl, and also a slight pain in his heart that Buffy possibly had a child by another man.  As Angel finally drifted off to sleep he thought only of Buffy, and the beautiful woman she had become.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

As night pervaded, two warriors of good slept dream filled sleep.  Each envisioning the other, seeing the past, the present…the future?  One watched the images with avid interest and a hope filled heart, wishing that it wasn't too late for forever.  Forever.  He'd once promised her forever.  Over the years, the dreams had faded, but never been completely lost.  A silent hope had always lingered in his heart that one day it would be allowed, that there would, for once, no longer be anything standing on the path between them.  Maybe now was not yet that day, he hoped it was, but if it wasn't, he'd continue to hope that there would be a someday.

While one dreamt with hope, another dreamt with fear and weariness.  The sins and pain of the past still too strong to look beyond.  Images of vengeful sires, murderous alter personas, imprisonments in hell, tense togetherness, breakups in sewers,  poisoned arrows, silent goodbyes across a smoke filled street…endless acts of betrayal, intentional or not.  They were all still there to her, almost as fresh as when they originally occurred.  Somewhere inside there was always hope, but it was always out-muscled by visions of the past.  It was too much to hope.  Broken hearts can never truly be healed, they can only be precariously mended.  It tore too much at her hearts tattered whole to consciously believe in someday.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

TBC…feedback gratefully appreciated J


	4. Part 4 Unleashed

Author's Note – It's a rather short part, my apologies…was gonna add more, but I wanted to get parts 3 and 4 posted as soon as possible.  There will probably be more upcoming soon.  I'm loving writing this fic, so I think I will probably finish it before I tackle new parts for one of my other fics.  I think there will be 2, maybe 3 more parts.  Anyway, sorry for the shortness, enjoy!

Warning – Angst and bad language near the end!

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Part 4

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Thankfully for Buffy, the following day was Saturday, which meant that she could sleep as late as she wanted which is just what she did.  The early part of her sleep had been restless and dream filled, but finally she'd fallen into a deep sleep.  She didn't wake up until just past noon when she felt the edge of the bed sink a bit and smelled some deliciously yummy breakfast food.  Cautiously she opened her eyes, wondering who was there and why she smelled food.  When she opened them she found Spike peering down at her, a smile on his face, and a tray full of food.

"What's this for?  What did you break this time," she asked suspiciously.

"I'll have you know I haven't broken anything…major…in a long time.  Just thought I'd make you some breakfast.  Sounded like you had a rough night, I'm lucky I'm not a big bruise this morning," joked Spiked while putting the tray in front of Buffy who was now sitting against the headboard.

"Oh sorry 'bout that.  Dreams," winced Buffy.

"S'ok.  It's only fair, payback for…" started Spike, trailing off at the end.

"Did you make this all by yourself?" she questioned with a sympathetic look, quickly changing the topic knowing that Spike was referring to his own nightmares.  

"Of course, didn't even burn down the kitchen," he announced proudly.

"Good to know," Buffy replied as she began to devour her breakfast.

While Buffy ate, Spike took to straightening up the room.  For some unknown reason, after he'd regained his soul he became a bit of a neat freak.  And Buffy was anything but neat these days.  So he often found himself picking up numerous articles of clothing, or stray weapons and putting them away.  Buffy would laugh at him when he did it, but she never said a word because it meant she didn't have to pick them up herself.  

Just as she finished her breakfast, Buffy and Spike heard a shriek coming from the hallway followed by Sierra dashing into the room.  Behind her, Xander was crawling on all fours growling like a tiger.  The little girl ran over to Buffy and pleaded for help.  Spike hoisted her up onto the bed where she curled up against Buffy, her auburn hair falling into her face.  Using his right hand, Spike pushed the hair out of her face and grinned at her

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Buffy spent the day taking care of her normal weekend tasks.  She did some laundry, some cleaning, paid some bills, watched a little TV.  They were her norm, the things that were familiar.  Typically, she didn't mind these days at all.  They were quiet and relaxing, and they were the closest she'd ever get to 'normal', but that was fine with her.  It was all she needed.  Today, though, she found herself antsy, glancing at the clock every ten minutes hoping it would move faster.

When she finally ran out of things to do to keep herself busy it was late afternoon, but still a few hours until darkness would fall.  She groaned at that thought and then groaned again when she realized why she'd done it in the first place.  Angel.  It would still be another few hours until he would be able to come.  *Damnit* she said to herself.  *He pops back into my life and I'm falling into 'love sick puppy' syndrome yet again.*

Deciding that she needed to distract herself, do anything to keep from thinking about Angel, she stuck a movie into the VCR and flopped down on the couch.  A half hour passed and Buffy realized that she hadn't seen a second of it because she was too caught up in thinking about a certain tall, handsome, broody vampire.  She looked at the clock for the millionth time that day and saw it was still at least another or so hour until sunset.  After thinking for a minute she decided that she would just get it over with and go to see him instead of waiting for him to come to see her.

She jumped off the couch and began to walk toward the door when she suddenly stopped and looked down herself.  There was no way in hell she planned on seeing Angel wearing jogging shorts and an oversized t-shirt, not to mention that she hadn't yet showered, her hair up in a messy bun, and no make up on.  Quickly turning, she dashed up to the bathroom to shower and make herself presentable not thinking at all about why she cared what she looked like when she saw Angel.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

A half hour later she was dressed and ready to go.  She'd chosen to wear khaki pants with a coral colored tank top/cardigan set along with brown chunky heeled boots.  After putting the key in the ignition to her car, Buffy realized that she had no idea where she was going.  Angel hadn't told her where he was staying while in Sunnydale.  She went over Sunnydale's lodging options in her head, trying to figure out where he might be.  The town didn't have any remotely decent motels, and Angel certainly wouldn't stay at some rat trap type place, and his old apartment building had been converted into a day spa.  That only left the mansion as a possible place for him to stay.  

*It's worth a try* she told herself.  *God, why am I being like this?  Angel and I are over.  Period.  I shouldn't be getting this worked up over it.  It's always the same though, Angel comes, Buffy gets weak in the knees, then Angel leaves.  Somebody should just put me out of my misery*

Buffy finished her internal chastisement of herself and began the short journey to the mansion.  All the while her stomach was doing little flip flops in anticipation of seeing her Angel *no, he's not your Angel, dumbass!*

When she arrived at the mansion she was pleased to see that Angel's car was parked in driveway.  *Two point for Buffy* she said almost out loud with a smirk.  Getting out of the car she walked up to the door, not even bothering to knock and crept inside.  She figured he was probably still sleeping as he usually did during the day.  Her plan was to go in and wait in the main room on one of the couches.  Of course, she had to think up a reason as to why she came to him instead of waiting for him to come to her.  *I'll wing it, hopefully he'll buy whatever I say* she told herself.

Upon entering the foyer Buffy was surprised to see 2 duffle bags lying on the floor.  She wondered for a minute why Angel would just leave them in such a weird place, that was until she realized the bags were probably placed there for easy pick up on his way out.  Angel was leaving.  The thought struck a sour chord in her heart.  She quickly tried to ignore it.  He probably had an emergency in LA he had to take care of.

Just then she heard footsteps and saw Angel enter the room.  He didn't notice her there due to the fact that he was rooting around in a smaller bag that he was carrying.  Buffy watched as he zipped up the back and placed it with the others which was when he finally looked up and saw here there.  Her green eyes, full of questions, met his brown ones, saying the words she didn't need to speak.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

"Buffy," he spoke cautiously.

"Going somewhere?" she questioned, hoping her voice remained unaffected by the thought of him leaving.  

"Uh, yeah, I'm going, uh, back to LA," he stuttered.

"Oh.  Is there an emergency?"

"No, not that I know of."

Scrunching her brow, Buffy stood and studied him for a minute.  Angel, fully conscious of her stare, shifted uneasily and quickly cast he eyes anywhere but at her.  His actions caused a realization to hit Buffy squarely in the heart.  A hit that echoed through her entire being.

"You were just going to leave weren't you?  Without saying goodbye…again!  God!  You think you can just waltz back into my life and then walk away like you were never here!  I so don't think so.  I want answers and I want them now!" she spat out angrily.  The idea that he could do this to her again was more than she could handle.  Everything was going well for her.  And then he shows up at her door causing all sorts of feelings to surge through her body only to just disappear.  No.  It wasn't going to happen.  Not if she could help it.

Somewhere in the midst of all this Buffy came to the conclusion that she didn't want Angel to leave.  Not now.  Not ever.  Even though they'd been apart for years she still loved him.  He was still the only man that could set her insides on fire by just being nearby, or by an innocent look in her direction.  No one else had given that to her, and she missed it.  Riley had tried to give her normalcy.  Spike gave her comfort and companionship.  But Angel, and only Angel, gave her passion.  And she'd be damned if she'd let him escape, again.

"Well, I'm waiting for an answer," she reiterated after Angel had said nothing, not even lifting his gaze to meet hers.

"Yes, I was going to leave.  Without telling you," he looked up, shame filling his yes, and wearily replied.

"Damn you Angel!  Damn you to hell!  Is that all you know how to do?  Walk away, not caring at all who you're leaving behind?  Remind next time your un-birthday comes around to buy you a pair of jogging shoes to make your running away easier," Buffy shouted, oblivious to the tears that were no cascading down her cheeks.

"I'm so fucking sick of this.  What was it this time?  Just talking to you too abnormal for what you want for me?  Huh?  Ya know what?  I don't even want to fucking know!  Whatever it is, it's just another excuse.  And I'm sick and tired of it.  So just stay the hell out of my life from now on!" she screamed at him and then sprinted out the door and into her car, screeching the tires as she drove off.

Angel watched her flee and then sank down to the floor, unwanted tears pooling in his soulful eyes.  He'd hurt her.  Again.  That was all he ever seemed to do to the woman who meant more to him than his own un-life.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

TBC…feedback welcome!


	5. Part 5 Spike's Say

Author's Note – I wasn't going to post this until Part 6 was done, but I figured why wait.  I debated internally over the way I wrote Spike in this part, he's a little too nice and clear headed (i.e. completely out of character), but I left it the way it is cuz it works better to have Spike act this way for this fic.  I doubt he'd ever actually act this way though.  Also, I know there are still things left to be explained, don't worry, they will be, I promise!  Thanks for all the great feedback, you guys rock!

Warning – full of angst, sorry, fluff will come soon though!

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Part 5

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Conscious thought had left Buffy's mind the second she'd heard him utter the words that he was leaving and wasn't going to tell her.  She remembered running out of the mansion.  Nothing after that other than the thoughts that were screeching loudly in her head.  Over and over she castigated herself for allowing herself to hope.  She hadn't even realized that somewhere inside that hope had risen.  Somewhere between when Angel had showed up on her doorstep last night and now, a part of her she'd locked away for so long had awoken with the possibility that this might finally be their chance, their someday.  And now, as it had in the past, it had ended.

In her head, she screamed at herself for allowing the hope to surface, even if unintentionally.  When it came to Angel, the outcome always involved heartbreak.  And she'd walked straight into it.  She should have just let him walk away when he'd abruptly left after seeing her with Spike at the house.  If she had, then, right now, she wouldn't feel like someone had taken a dull, rusty knife to her chest, slicing in ever so slowly and ripping her heart out.  Buffy told herself it was her own damn fault for allowing it to happen.  She was stupid, so stupid, for allowing the hope to seep into her disenchanted soul.  Her fault.  Her fault.  The phrase repeated itself in her head like a mantra.

When Buffy finally snapped out of the daze she'd been in since leaving the mansion she found herself standing outside of her car, having no idea where she was or how exactly she had gotten there.  Looking down she found that her wrist was jutting out at an unnatural angle, blood dripping out of a myriad of cuts on her hand.  It was then that she noticed that the driver's side window of her car was shattered.  *That answers that question then I guess.  Note to self: not a good idea to take out one's anger on their car* she attempted to joke to internally, but failed miserably.

Soft sobs began to wrack her small form, the injured arm she'd been clutching fell carelessly to her side.  The pain of the action didn't even register.  Turning, she walked towards the spot that had become a safe haven to her the past few years.  Somehow she'd ended up here which was not surprising since it was where she always went these days when a little quiet, alone time was needed.

Buffy seated herself on the grassy patch on the small cliff that overlooked the lake.  The night sky had descended upon the world leaving everything dark and bleak save the glow of the moon so high above her.  For a moment her mind drifted back to heaven and the peace that had existed there.  Part of her still craved it, missed its mindlessness, the absolution it bestowed upon her battle weary body and soul.

A few minutes passed and her sobs began to recede then ended completely.  There were no more tears left for her to cry.  They couldn't change anything.  And she still had a life to live.  A life that she'd been content with for the past few years.  Tomorrow she'd go back to that life.  Nothing had changed.  But it had.  The hope, however brief, had been there.  It hurt.  As much as she didn't want it to, it hurt.  For a moment, forever and someday seemed possible.  What a joke.  *Fate just loves to fuck with me* she laughed heartlessly.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

For two hours Angel remained slouched on the cold concrete floor of the mansion.  The image of Buffy's face, riddled with hurt that he caused, emblazoned in his head.  Her beautiful, sweet face contorted in hatred and anger at him.  He never should have come to Sunnydale.  Never.  If he hadn't then she would be happy right now, probably enjoying a night with her friends, who were her family, her true family.  Instead, he'd let some selfish dream take over.  What had he been thinking?  Did he really think she'd leap into his arms and uproot the life she now led.  He hated to admit it, but that was what he had wanted.

He had let the dream of someday cloud his judgment, and now she was paying the price.  The life she led was going fine until he showed up to screw it up.  Wasn't that what always happened when he was around her?  Didn't he always make things worse for her?  It seemed like that was always the case.  Almost nothing good came out of their pairing.  That alone should have convinced him to leave the past in the past.  The heart is a difficult thing to overcome though.  It leads to places better left abandoned.

Finally lifting his head out of his hands Angel wondered what he was supposed to do now.  His first thought was to throw his bags in his car and return to LA.  Away from her where he wouldn't be able to hurt her anymore.  This idea was swiftly cast aside when the look she'd had on her face leapt forward in his head again.  No, he couldn't leave until he made sure she was ok.    He'd never forgive himself if something had happened to her because of his stupidity.  

Resigned to the fact that he'd have to see her again, Angel pulled himself up off the floor and strode out of the mansion, shoulders hunched.  Without even thinking about the fact that he had a car parked in the driveway he began the walk to Buffy's house.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

A knock at the door tore Spike's attention away from the action flick he was watching.  He glanced at the clock, saw that it was after 11pm and wondered who the hell it was.  They usually didn't get late night visitors.  Grabbing an axe out of the chest, in case it was another stupid demon trying to take out the slayer, Spike ambled over to the door and cautiously opened it.  The person he found behind it was the last one he expected to see, and really, the last one he wanted to come face to face with.  He still feared being staked by his 'sire' for his current living situation.

Angel nervously glanced down at the axe the peroxide blonde was holding and dreaded what his childe seemed to have in store for him due to his latest actions toward Buffy.  Not knowing what to do, he remained standing on the doorstep, and had yet to say a word.

"Gotta be careful 'round here, never know who might be knockin' on the door to the Slayer's house.  Just last week had some stupid ass vamp come 'round," Spike stated in response to Angel's wary gaze at the axe.

With a slight nod, Angel only cast his eyes downward, realizing Spike obviously didn't know that something had happened between him and Buffy.  He wondered inwardly if maybe it was a mistake to come.

"So, did ya come here for a reason, or are you just going to stand out there and brood?" Spike asked, still cautious of the darker man's intentions.

"I, uh, is Buffy here?" Angel stuttered out.

"Thought she was with you."  Spike narrowed his eyes at the fidgeting man.

"She was.  She left," spoke Angel softly.

"What did you do this time you great big poof?" snorted Spike in disgust as he turned and in walked into the house, leaving Angel to follow at his own will.

"I upset her," was all Angel said in reply.

"Gee, couldn't have guessed that," the blonder answered sharply.  "What the hell did you do?" he requested forcefully.

"She came mansion to the mansion right before I was about to leave for LA, saw my bags on the floor."

"And?" urged Spike, knowing there was more.

"I told her I was leaving," Angel said, avoiding the next part.

"That all?" Spike asked suspiciously.

"No.  I told her I was leaving…" Angel then hesitated before he finished.  "And that I hadn't planned on saying goodbye or talking to he-"  Before the sentence even came to a close, Angel found himself flying backwards into the wall from a swift punch to the face.

"You bloody stupid, fucking bastard," screamed Spike, seething with anger.  "How could you do that to her?"

No reply came from the larger man who was still sprawled out on the floor.  He couldn't answer, he had no defense for himself other than that he was weak.

"Why the hell did you come back here if you were only going run off again?  Just felt like seeing if the little woman you left behind was still pining after you and then go trotting back to your happy life?  God, you disgust me," ranted Spike furiously.  He then turned and stormed out of the room and out the back door to have a smoke and get away from the other man.  As much as he wanted to, it would do no good to beat him to a bloody pulp, and he didn't know if Buffy would approve, no matter how angry with him she was.  Her wrath was definitely not something he wanted to face.

Angel said nothing to dispute Spike's claim, he felt he deserved all the harsh words as well as the punch.  All the harsh words and punches in the world wouldn't alleviate the guilt he was feeling.  Maybe it was that sense of masochism that sent him to follow Spike after a few minutes of sitting on the floor where he had fallen.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

The sound of the screen door closing surprised Spike.  He didn't think Angel had the nerve to follow him out here when it was obvious how brassed off he was.  He didn't understand how the wanker could be so damn stupid.  He had a girl that was painfully in love with him and yet all he did was tear out her heart and squeeze the life out of it.  The poof was too damn noble for his own good.  Nobody smart threw away the love of a girl like Buffy.

"Care to explain yourself?" Spike spat at the other man.

"It was wrong of me to come here in the first place," Angel answered and took a seat on the step next to Spike.

"Still not getting it Peaches," retorted Spike, anger remaining visible.

"What's there to get?  We're not a part of each other's worlds anymore.  I had no business just showing up last night," sighed Angel as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Bullocks.  If anyone has the right to just pop up here, it's you mate.  Do you think that she doesn't still care?  Doesn't still wonder?  You two have too much of a past to just forget and move on," explained Spike and then took another drag on his cigarette.  "Why'd you come here in the first place then," he added.

"I had…something…I wanted to tell her, thought she should know," shrugged Angel.

Spike turned his head and looked intensely at the other man.  He debated asking what exactly it was that drove him to come all the way to Sunnydale, but he realized whatever it was Buffy didn't even know yet and there was no way Angel would tell him before telling Buffy, if he told anyone at all.  

"Right.  I'd ask what but I know you wouldn't tell me.  So what?  You just changed your mind once you got here or what?" asked Spike, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"She doesn't need me here," came Angel's curt reply.

"And how exactly do you know that?  I don't suppose you bothered to ask her?" an exasperated Spike said.

"Why _would_ she need me here?  Everything's going so well for her.  She's got her friends, a job, a destiny…she has a life.  She's happy.  I have no business ingratiating myself back into it," explained Angel.

"You just don't get it do you, you bleedin' poof.  You always were a stupid wanker," exclaimed Spike in response.

At Angel's silence, Spike continued.  "You've been back here for what?  A day?  And you think you know all about her life now?  Anyone ever tell you that you jump to conclusions?  Things may be working out for her right now, she may be content, she may be comfortable, she may NOT be _un_happy, but at the same time, she's not quite happy either.  Or at least the kind of happy she should be."

"What do you mean?" queried Angel, confused at the blonde's words.

"She doesn't have that passion for life she did a long time ago.  She lives, she laughs, goes out with her friends, goes to work, does everything she should, and its not that she doesn't enjoy it, but that fire in her eyes just isn't there.  She's learned to make due with what she has."  When Spike saw he had Angel's full attention, he explained further.

"The Scoobies and I talked about it one weekend when she was away visiting Dawn.  What we came to realize, was that she doesn't have anything she lives for that's just hers.  She slays because it's her destiny, she works because she needs to make money, she took care of Dawn because her Mum died, but she doesn't have anything for just herself."

"She told me she was dating," Angel said, more of a statement than a question.

"Pfft…" scoffed Spike.  "That what she told you?  More like she accepts the invitation because she is supposed to, then finds a way to break the date off early and never calls the blokes again.  She ain't had a serious relationship since Captain Cardboard…Riley," he clarified at Angel's confused look.

"What's that got to do with me?" Angel asked solemnly, he hated hearing about the soldier that had been with Buffy.

"It's always about you, mate.  Don't you get that?  Even after all these years you're still the one she wants.  She won't admit it to anyone else, I don't even think she admits it to herself, but we all know.  Once you've had a taste of perfection, you don't want anything else," said Spike as he reclined back against the stairs.

"Our relationship was hardly perfection," snorted Angel.

"No shit, but it's not about all that bloody drama you two went through.  It's about the feelings between you.  She can't forget that, even subconsciously.  And I'm guessin' neither can you," the blonde answered, a lasting look directed toward the other man.

"No…" Angel responded softly.

"Thought so.  She tried to make a go of it with Mr. Corn-Fed, but she just couldn't give herself to him.  Did she ever tell you why he left?"  At the slight horizontal nod of Angel's head, he went on.  "The wanker couldn't handle not having all of her anymore.  Even had the balls to bring you up to her, saying he didn't feel like she was giving all of her to him.  He gave her an ultimatum, all or nothing.  He left."

"Just another way I've ruined her life," Angel closed his eyes and shook his head.

"God you're bloody dense.  This isn't about anything you've done to her.  If she couldn't make it work with the commando on feelings alone, do you think she could have made it work with the commando if you'd never been around?  Not likely.  Some things just aren't meant to work, you two though, have that whole bloody soulmates deal.  It's kind of sickening ya know?" divulged Spike with a chuckle.

"Since when are you so insightful?" Angel posed, the full impact of the fact that he was having an actual conversation with Spike finally dawning on him.

"Yeah…well…came with the whole soul-having package," Spike answered, suddenly looking away as a few singular images of his past flashed in his mind.

"I heard about that."  Angel knew full well what it was like to be in his place.

"Not what I thought it would be," Spike revealed quietly.

"Buffy says things are better now," Angel stated, happy to stray from the topic of his relationship from Buffy for a few minutes.

"It's…easier…than it was.  Drove me crazy for a while, probably still would be if it hadn't been for Buffy," Spike replied, trying to sound casual.

Angel only nodded in response, knowing exactly what he meant.  His memories flashed back to a night on a hill years ago when he'd almost given in to the guilt.  But she had saved him, given him a reason to continue.

"So what are you going to do now," Spike asked, dragging them back to the original topic.

"I don't know," was all Angel could think to say.

"You owe it to her to stick around.  To at least talk to her.  It'll kill her if you just up and disappear," Spike said, the level of protectiveness over the blonde Slayer clearly obvious.

"I don't think she'll want to talk to me," spoke Angel, eyes cast downwards.

"No, I don't suppose she will after what you did.  But you're going to anyway, even if I have to tie both of you to the chairs in the living room," the blonde avowed with a laugh, and then stood up and walked toward the door into the house.

Angel remained seated on the steps after Spike went inside.  As much as he hated to admit it, Spike was right.  He owed it to her to at least talk to her.  He'd started all this by coming here, it was his fault she was hurting.  She didn't deserve what he had planned to do, leaving without a goodbye.  Angel bashed himself internally for even considering doing that.  But he was determined to make things right, or as right as they could be. He couldn't let them be left the way they were, even if they just went back to they way things had been between them the past few years.

Inside, Spike was about to go over to the refrigerator to get some blood when he heard the front door close.  He knew it had to be Buffy since the other occupants of the house were all upstairs asleep but he asked if it was her anyway.

"Buffy? That you?" he spoke softly enough not to disturb anyone.

When he didn't get an answer he turned and looked toward the entranceway of the kitchen, and was presented with the sight of the broken hearted slayer cradling one of her arms against her chest.

"Bloody hell Slayer!  What happened to you?!?!" he nearly shouted, full of worry and rushed over to her.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

TBC…not a nice spot to leave off, sorry, but it will be continued.  As always, feedback appreciated.


	6. Part 6 Waiting Game

Author's Note – Ok, here's Part 6.  My apologizes for the delay in getting it out.  On the plus side, this is the longest part I've written for this fic.  I've had most of it done for a while, but I got stuck on the last scene.  I'm still not quite happy with it, but it'll due for now, maybe sometime later I'll rewrite it a little.  Hopefully it's not too bad, I just couldn't get the wording write.  But anyway, here it is, you finally get to find out the answers to some of the mysteries you've been asking about.  Please don't flame me if you are unhappy with what I've written – plot wise, I wrote the plot the way I wanted it to go, so everyone else will just have to deal with it.

Also, originally I intended for this fic to end after Part 7.  I debated on making it longer, adding some Apocalypse type plot, or still ending it at Part 7.  Right now, I've decided to keep going a little bit more since everyone seems to like this fic.  I haven't decided yet how it will continue, but it'll at least have a few more parts.  There may be a greater length between updates though so I can work on some of my other fics as well as this one.  That's all.  Enjoy.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Part 6

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Buffy heard Spike ask her if she was okay, but she didn't answer.  The shock of the night's events was still causing an overload in her head.  Things had definitely not gone as planned.  Somewhere earlier in the day she'd begun to nurture a vague hope of a future with the one man she'd loved with all her being, and that hope was abruptly quelled by a certain heartless vampire.  And to top it all off, she now had a severely throbbing, bloody arm.  Spike's concerned voice broke her out of her reverie.

"Buffy?  Are you all right?  What happened?"  His voice held a surprising softness to it.  

"Huh?  Oh, the arm, yeah, I'm fine," Buffy answered, a careless tone to her words.

"It doesn't look fine.  What happened?  Did you run into some demons?," Spike said sharply.

"No, no demons."  She only wished that her troubles of that night revolved around demons, or at least not certain soulful demon.

"Then what was it?" he questioned impatiently.

"If you ask my car, it'd tell you that it's window got in the way of my fist, but if you ask me, I honestly wouldn't know the answer.  I don't exactly remember."  At Spike's utterly confused look, she elaborated, but only slightly.  "I was upset about something, somehow I ended up at the lake, standing next to my car with my arm like this.  That's all I can tell you."

Spike's eyes narrowed, his anger once again rising at his sire in realization of what had caused Buffy's injury.  Instead of lashing out, he focused on Buffy.  It would do her no good if he went out there and beat Angel to a bloody pulp.  Or maybe she'd enjoy it, he didn't want to take his changes though.  "Sit down, luv.  I'm gonna get the first aide kit.  We have to get that cleaned up and bandaged."

Reluctantly, Buffy sat herself on the stool and waited for Spike to return.  She was just happy that he wasn't demanding she go to the hospital like the time she'd gotten her back slashed open by a knife wielding vamp.  All she wanted right now was a long hot shower, a mug of cocoa, and the silent warmth of her bed.  A dreamless sleep would also be preferable but Buffy knew better than to hope for something she wouldn't receive.  

A minute later Spike reentered the kitchen with the first aide kit and began to take care of her arm.  He washed all the cuts out thoroughly, making sure to get any dirt out, and a few small specks of glass from the broken window.  After he finished he ordered Buffy to go take a shower and then he would apply some antibiotic cream and set the arm in a splint.  It was surely broken, but due to her slayer healing abilities it would be back to normal within a few days at the least.

Outside, once Angel had snapped out of his oblivious brood he had heard Spike speaking to someone.  Out of sight he watched them, saw Spike's concern for his love, heard Buffy explain her injured arm, and witnessed Spike's careful tending to the wounds.  Her words and the cause of her injury further enhanced his guilt.  More pain.  He'd caused her more pain.  Dejected, he quietly entered the house.

Just as Buffy got off the stool she heard the back door open and closed.  She turned to find herself eye to eye with her ex-lover.  Pain wracked through her heart and soul, a scowl implanted on her youthful face.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she ground out through a clenched jaw.

"I came to talk to you," Angel spoke, unable to look her in the eyes any longer.

"I don't WANT to talk to you, damnit.  I told you to stay the hell away from me!" she screeched at him.

On the sidelines, Spike watched and kept his mouth shut.  As much as he wanted to beat Angel over the head with a shovel, or just knock some sense into the both of them, he knew that this was a personal battle between the two of them and they needed to work it out on their own from here.  In the back of his mind, the remnants of his former self mocked him for his softness, but he ignored it.

"Buffy, we need to talk about this," Angel pleaded gently.

"Oh.  Right.  NOW you want to talk about it.  What changed your mind?  It was okay to just up and leave without telling me as long as you didn't have to see my reaction?" yelled Buffy, her tone glaringly accusing.

"Buffy, I…I, I was wrong.  I shouldn't have even though of leaving like that.  I'm sorry.  I know you're upset.  You have every right to be.  But we need to talk, we…I, can't leave things like this.  Please," he requested softly.

The sincerity in his voice weakened Buffy slightly, but she was in no mood to deal with him tonight.  Her emotions were still raw, and she was still furious with him.  Now was just not the time for a heart to heart.  "Angel…not tonight, please.  I just need some time, and some sleep.  We can talk…but later, please."

"If that's what you want.  We can do later.  Just let me know, I'll be around, at the mansion."  Angel hoped his words enforced that he meant he would be staying in town and not leaving…yet, or…maybe he hoped, not ever.

Although she didn't show it, Buffy understood the implications of his words.  Part of her was overjoyed to know this, but the part of her that was still raw with pain from the nights events wished that he would leave, or better yet, had never come, so that things could go back to the way the were, back to less confusing, simpler times.  

Hope.  Hope for a future.  One that included the strong wonderful man before her.  Hope.  It was what her soul was pleading with her to feel, what it, erringly or not, craved.  But she couldn't feel it, she refused to feel it.  Her current pain, and the ever-possible chance for future heartbreak wouldn't allow for it.  Hope had no place in her life.  She'd always known that.  It was why she never bothered to allow herself to feel it.  Until today when for a few fleeting hours she had, only to have it shoved back in her face and mocked.  No, hope had no place in her life.

With a steely gaze, and a cold voice, she submitted to her request, knowing that it was the only way to put this episode behind her, move on, and get back to the life she'd become so comfortable in.  The sooner she got this over with, the better.

"Fine.  Meet me tomorrow night, around 7, at the Magic Box."

Without waiting for a response, or bothering to say goodbye, Buffy turned and left the room silently.  For the moment, she wanted only to be as far away from Angel as possible.  He was just not something she wanted to deal with, yet.

"I'd say you're lucky she didn't stake your ass to a tree," Spike relayed to a guilt-stricken Angel and then followed Buffy's lead and left the kitchen.  

It took Angel a minute to gather his bearings in the aftermath.  Despite his actions, Buffy's extreme cold shoulder surprised him.  To him, she seemed as though she couldn't wait to get away from him.  *Maybe I've ruined things for good this time* he thought to himself as he left the house and started the long, silent, lonely walk back to the mansion.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Underneath the dangerously hot spray of water, Buffy leaned her head against the ceramic tiles.  The blistering steam seemed to caress her fatigued body, easing the knots of tension that had settled over her well toned muscles.  With a yawn she scrubbed herself clean of the days dirt and grime, and also cleansing her wounded arm.  She winced a bit as the soap seeped into the cuts that were beginning to close.   When she finally finished her shower routine she dried herself off in one of the fluffy extra large towels that Willow had given her for her birthday last year and then slipped into some warm pajamas.

With a tired sigh, Buffy exited the bathroom and moved towards her room.  Upon entering she found Spike waiting, sitting on the bed holding a mug of hot chocolate for her.  He always knew just what she needed.  She accepted the steaming mug and directed a grateful look in his direction.  Instead of crawling into bed, though, she crossed the room and climbed out the window and onto the roof.

For a few moments she just sat there holding the warm mug between her chilly hands, gratefully thinking about nothing at all.  Despite the fact that night held many dangers, not just for her but for the world as well, it seemed to relax her these days.  The air held a quality not found during the sun lit hours.  It was more peaceful...serene…so much less harsh than the brightness and noise of the daylight hours.  She was a person of the night, a hunter.  She laughed almost out loud at that last thought.  Angel had left her so she could have a life in the light, but she'd managed to find one in the dark on her own.  It was what suited her, though, it was where she was meant to be.  But Angel never understood that, almost as if he tried to deny the true nature of a slayer.

Buffy silently cursed to herself when she realized that thoughts of Angel had trespassed into her mind.  The last thing she wanted to think about was him.  Her day had already been taken over by the dark haired man and she was not about to let what was left of the night become his as well.

Her wishes were not to be granted though for she soon felt a warm blanket being draped over her shoulders and knew that Spike was about to sit down beside her.  Buffy's suspicions were soon confirmed when the peroxide blonde noisily plopped down to her right.

"You don't have to tell me, I already know what happened.  That wanker of a sire told me what he did."  His voice did nothing to hide the displeasure he felt at Angel.

"Oh," was Buffy's only response.

Sensing her desire to leave the topic alone for the rest of the night, Spike settled for pulling her body up to his and gently guided her head down to his shoulder.  Buffy did nothing to object, and the comfort of his presence and care soon lulled her into a deep sleep.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Throughout the following day Buffy managed to banish all thoughts of Angel out of her mind, though it wasn't an easy task.  She threw herself into any little task she could think of, even the ones she'd been putting off for weeks.  Her office was now sparkling clean, files were labeled and alphabetized, phone calls returned, she'd even taken on the tedious task of dusting all of the display shelves.  When she started to vacuum Willow's eyes bugged out even more than they already had been.  Buffy and cleaning were something that just did not mix, but she said nothing to the blonde haired slayer because Spike had filled her in on the previous nights happenings.  If cleaning kept Buffy's mind occupied then she wasn't going to complain.  And it did serve its purpose, hours flew by for her with nary a thought toward Angel and their upcoming meeting.

For Angel, it was an entirely different story.  His night had been restless due to feelings of guilt over his actions and their consequences.  When daylight finally arrived he begrudgingly pulled his weary body out of bed, settling for a hot shower instead of sleep.  His day afterwards passed with an agonizing slowness.  Nothing could quell the endless thoughts of Buffy.  Every possible scenario for their meeting went through his head, some with wondrously happy outcomes, but most ended up with Buffy tossing him out on his ass with the specification to leave and never return.  Angel prayed to whatever higher power there was that the latter was not what would happen.  

When seven p.m. finally drew near Angel was almost giddy with relief.  The wait was torturous.  Even if she sent him packing, at least it would be over.  He would know where things stood once the night had come to a close.  Pausing momentarily on the way to his black convertible, Angel closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  Visions of him and Buffy together swam into view.  He reveled in the luxurious peace of the fantasy.  That was where he hoped this night would end, with Buffy in his arms.  It was his dream of someday.  Shaking his head to clear the images, Angel slid into his car to drive to The Magic Box…to his destiny or to his nightmare, which of the two it was, he knew not.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Angel's nervous step led him to the entranceway of The Magic Box.  He opened the door, causing the bell hanging just inside to chime happily.  To Angel, the inside of the shop looked drastically different then he remembered it, but that was not surprising considering how long it had been since the last time he'd been there.  It was a very homey atmosphere, though.  Candles and incense scented the air with pleasing aromas, shiny wooden display racks lined the walls, myriads of trinkets and treasures were carefully placed on them.  Overall, the store had a very professional, yet welcoming appeal.

Focusing his gaze off to the left and further into the store Angel saw a large circular table tucked into a corner, surrounded by matching benches.  Seated on the bench closest to his position were Willow and the little girl he'd seen with Buffy.  The child was intensely focused on a picture she was coloring, unaware of his presence.  Willow, however, had been watching him since hearing the bell above the door signal his entrance.

"Willow…hi," Angel stammered out with a great deal of uncertainty.

"Hi Angel," she replied.  The friendly, yet cool tone of the greeting was not lost on Angel, she'd obviously been briefed on his actions.

"Is Buffy here?" he questioned apprehensively while looking around the room for the little blonde Slayer.

"Upstairs.  Through the door in the back, make a right, down the hall, up the stairs, make a left, last room at the end of the hall," she explained and then turned back to coloring with the little girl.

"Thanks," Angel murmured, gathering all his mental strength for the upcoming confrontation.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Buffy felt his presence before even hearing his arrival at the door.  The knots in her gut immediately untied and retied themselves repeatedly at the realization that she couldn't any longer put off thinking about Angel and the past two days.  She idly thought about making a mad dash out the back door and avoiding the whole thing altogether.  It wouldn't make it go away though.  He'd only track her down.  She just wanted it over.  She was determined that tonight would be the final chapter in the 'Buffy and Angel story'.  Tomorrow she'd be able to go back to her routine, her comfort zone.

From the shadows of her doorway she peered down to the first floor of the lofted room and watched him as he studied the interior of the store.  She smirked slightly at the way Willow spoke to him.  The loyalty of her friends was something she could never doubt.  When Buffy saw that Angel was making his way towards the stairs she quickly slipped back into her office, sat down at her desk and found some paperwork to make herself look busy with.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

After what seemed like minutes, but had really only been seconds, Angel finally arrived at the destination Willow had directed him to.  He nervously fidgeted just outside the door.  Fear ran rampant through his soul.  It was his soul that recognized deep inside that this meeting could be the end of all that he wished for, and not in a good way.  He wanted to hope for the best, hope that she'd understand, hope that she'd forgive him…hope that she still wanted him.  The fear was overwhelming, though.  It blocked out any ability to hope.

With a steel determination Angel finally forced himself to enter through the open door into the room that his love occupied.  The sight that greeted him would have made him smile if he hadn't been so worried and nervous.  Buffy was seated at a large, dark mahogany desk that was adorned with personal mementos as well as what he guessed were papers related to The Magic Box.  He realized that the blank stare she directed at some sheets of paper she was holding was a result of the fact that she knew he was there.  Taking a deep breath once again, Angel finally spoke, initiating contact.

"Hey…if you're busy I can come back later," he said out of politeness.

"Huh?  Oh, hey.  No, I'm not busy," she feigned to uphold the appearance that she was oblivious to his presence moments before he spoke.

"Oh, ok…" he trailed off, having no idea what to say and realizing that 'I'm sorry' wouldn't quite cover it.

"You can sit on the couch," she gestured toward it and continued.  "And then you can explain to me why you decided to play out a scene from 'Runaway Bride' when you were gonna leave without even a 'goodbye'," she demanded, deciding to get right down to business.  It would make the whole thing end quicker.

Angel sat down on the leather and mahogany couch, his elbows perched on his thighs, hands clasped tightly together.  For a moment he didn't know exactly what to do or what to say.  He studied his hands in false fascination as he searched for the words to answer her question.  After a minute he finally blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"I'm sorry," he yelled slightly, and then cringed at his tone.  He hadn't meant to say it that way.

"Well, good for you.  And thanks, but that doesn't change the fact that you were about to do what you were about to do.  I think I deserve an explanation."  The last part of her plea came out softer than her previous angry, sarcastic words.  As much as she wanted him gone so she could move on, she wanted to know why he did it.

"I know it doesn't mean much right now, but I really am sorry.  I never should have thought about just up and leaving like that without telling you.  I can't tell you enough how sorry I am for that.

I'm also sorry that I came here in the first place," after her incredulous look he amended "what I meant was that I shouldn't have just appeared on your doorstep like that.  I didn't mean to disrupt you life.  That's why I was leaving.  Because all I've done since I got here is mess everything up for you.  You've got a life now, a job, family, friends, acceptance of your destiny.  And you've been living that life for a few years.  I had no right to come here and mess everything up, make you upset.  You're happy now, and that's the way it should be.  Me being here…just…isn't…right," explained Angel, attempting to find the appropriate words.

Buffy sighed deeply as she listened to him speak.  Same old Angel.  Always trying to do what was best for her without asking, and only seeing things through his jaded eyes.  He always had to be so noble, making her decisions for her.  Wasn't it her choice if he had a right to be here or not?  And what did he know about her life anyway?

"Angel," she started and then turned to face the window, staring out into the dark night sky.  "You've been here for what 2, 3 days?  And you think you already know all about my life?  Regardless of whether you're right or wrong, because that's not the issue, isn't it my choice if I wish to see you, or not?  I'm not 16 anymore, I know how to take care of myself, I know how to make my own choices.  You don't have, and never did, have the right to make them for me, but you always did anyway.  And just for your information, my life isn't as perfect as you make it out to be."

"I watched you," Angel spoke softly, avoiding looking at her beautiful face and expressive eyes.  "I sat in the tree outside your window and saw you and Spike together, and the breakfast in bed he made you.  And I saw you with your daughter.  You looked so happy, I couldn't stand th-"  He was abruptly stopped by Buffy's loud screech.

"My what?  Daughter?  What are you talking about?" she questioned, extremely confused.

"Your daughter.  The little girl I saw you with, the one who was with Willow downstairs when I came in," responded Angel, brow scrunched at Buffy's reaction to his words.

"Angel, Sierra's not my daughter, she's Willow's.  What made you think she was mine?" Buffy asked in complete seriousness.

"I-I, don't know really.  Every time I saw her, she was with you, I guess I just assumed," he stuttered in embarrassment.

"Assumed," she reiterated for emphasis.  "You've got a real problem with making assumptions, do you know that?" she teased slightly, but meant every word.

"Sorry, I guess I should have asked.  So, Sierra is it, is Willow's daughter?  Now that I think about it, I can see the resemblance," pondered Angel.

"Yeah, she's a little darling, gonna be a smarty-pants just like her Mom," Buffy beamed as she spoke of the girl.

"Who's the father?  Uh, sorry, I guess that's not really a polite thing to ask."  Angel cringed at his rudeness.

"It's ok.  It's not a big secret or anything.  It's Xander.  Xander is Sierra's father," Buffy replied and then waited for the look of shock to register on Angel's face.  She wasn't let down.

"But…wh-…Huh?" he finally settled on.

Buffy laughed lightly.  "That's the reaction we get from most people who knew them in high school, or at some point in their lives.  It was a big shock even to me when Willow told me she was pregnant and then told me the how.  They're not together though."  She sat back in her chair, feeling a little more relaxed at having a conversation that didn't revolve around their problems.

Angel felt the shift in her mood and was somewhat relieved.  He was just happy that she was talking to him and that, for now, the conversation wasn't centered on his stupid actions.

"They're not?  I don't quite understand," he stated, still a bit stunned by the news.

"It's a little complicated, just as everything in our world always seem to be.  I guess she wouldn't mind if I told you.  It'd make it easier for you to understand things that have gone on here.  You remember I told you about Tara being killed right?" she questioned and when she received his nod she continued.

"And I also told you about what happened after that, how Willow fell into dark magic and tried to destroy the world.  Tara was Willow's world, at the time, she loved her so much.  It destroyed her when Tara was killed, but eventually she started to recover.  Giles and a Wiccan coven helped her to learn how to control the magic and she was doing good with that.  It took longer though for her to start to reclaim her life without Tara, but ever so slowly, it happened.

About a year after Tara's death, Anya left Sunnydale.  Her and Xander were apart for a while after the wedding disaster, but then she decided to give him another chance.  It seemed like they were making some progress at getting their relationship back on track, and all the sudden Anya said she couldn't do it and was leaving Sunnydale.  Xander was devastated."  Buffy shifted in her seat, pulling her legs up to sit cross-legged and continued on.

"I don't know exactly what happened after that, Willow didn't tell me about it until she found out she was pregnant.  Spike and I had gone to visit done at college one weekend, Willow and Xander were supposed to come, but decided not to.  I guess they ended up having a movie fest one night and it just happened.  Willow was dealing with Tara having been gone for a year, and Xander had just lost Anya for good.  Willow said it was a comfort thing, a moment of mutual need.  So they were there for each other.  I can't fault them for that, I've been there myself.

The next morning, I think, they both realized that it was a one time thing, that it wasn't where their friendship was supposed to be.  So they just went back to their lives.  Oddly enough, it didn't change anything about their friendship which I think they are both grateful for.  About 2 months after that, Willow told me she was pregnant, and then told me what happened."   She sighed as she thought back to the time when she'd found out her two best friends had slept together.  It had definitely been a shock.

"In all honesty, Willow was happy about it.  At the time I don't think she could envision a future with another person.  And then she was pregnant.  It gave her back a piece of her life.  Something to make her feel connected to the world again.  When she told Xander he was…shocked…to say the least.  He fainted.  We still like to laugh at him about it.  But then he was ecstatic.  It was his chance to be a good parent, to prove that he wasn't his Mom and Dad.

They talked about being together for the baby's sake, but both agreed it was the wrong thing to do.  They didn't love each other that way, and to force a relationship like that for the sake of a child only makes things worse in the long run.  So they decided to raise the baby as friends, but they didn't want to do the alternate weekend thing and pass the kid around.  In the end, we had Xander's construction team do some work on the attic to turn it into a livable apartment for Xander so that we could all live there together.  And that's the way things have been since.  Neither one of them regrets what happened because they have a wonderful daughter.  I couldn't be happier for them."

The last sentence stuck in Angel's head.  He could tell she was honestly happy for her friends and that things had worked out for them, but there was also a sad quality to her voice.  And an almost envious tone, as if she wished for something that they had.  It made his heart ache to know that there were still things in her life that she hadn't found yet.  For the first time, Spike's words to him the night before truly took meaning.  That she may be content, but she wasn't quite happy either.  

"But you wish you could have a bit of what they have, don't you?" Angel verbalized his internal thoughts.

"Maybe.  Is it wrong to want some of that happiness?  I watch them with Sierra and sometimes it just makes me jealous.  They have so much.  Not that I don't have anything.  I'm grateful to have them and Spike in my life.  But, its just…not enough," responded Buffy softly, looking away from Angel's penetrating gaze.  Inside, she was kicking herself for letting him sneak past the walls in her heart.  She didn't want to let him in.  She'd only end up hurt in the end.  But it was so hard to keep him out.  He was the only person who could ever truly see into her soul and warm its chilled core.

"I know the feeling," Angel sighed, matching Buffy's soft tone.  He then decided to shift to another topic, feeling that this one was treading on waters not yet navigable.  At them moment, he and Buffy were on a weak truce and he didn't want to set things into another tailspin by going too deep too soon.  "So this is where you work.  I have to admit I'm a little surprised," Angel stated about her office in The Magic Box.

"Yup, this is Buffy's great venture into the working world.  Actually, I really like it.  I wasn't too sure of it at first, but it's worked out perfectly," started Buffy with a genuine smile on her face.  "About 4 months after Anya left Giles came to Willow and asked if she'd be interested in running the store until school started back up.  She agreed and spent the summer doing that while going through the fun of being pregnant.  I spent a lot of time helping out, learned a quite a bit about being a business woman.  Then right before the semester was going to start she decided she wasn't back to school, it just wasn't what she wanted anymore I guess.  So Giles offered to sign part of the store over to her…and offered me a share of the partnership as well.  Shocked the hell out of me, but I accepted.  I liked the work, or at least parts that were interesting to me, Willow took care of the businessy type stuff.  And it was good money which I needed for taking care of Dawn.

Once everything was settled with the legalities we took the insurance money from when the shop was almost leveled, plus some of Giles' money and expanded to include the 2 stores next door.  Xander remodeled the interior, we opened a Wiccan Center for Willow to run, there's gym area where I teach self defense classes, plus the magic store part.  In the end, it worked out great, we all have something we love to be involved in, we're our own boss, Willow can bring Sierra to work, plus its helpful for Apocalypse time, got everything right here," she finished with a wave towards to the area with the books in the store below.  As she finished, she suddenly became aware of a feeling inside that there was something she was missing, a little detail she'd neglected to notice in the earlier conversation that had occurred, but as much as she searched her memory, nothing was coming to the forefront.

The pride in Buffy's voice toward her job was evident to Angel.  He was immensely glad that there was at least one part of her life that was fulfilling enough to make her somewhat happy.  He'd be lying if he said it didn't surprise him that she was working here.  Business woman was not something he equated with Buffy.  But it obviously worked for her.  People were always full of surprises and when it came to Buffy, he should always expect them.

"It sounds like you have a great opportunity here.  I'm happy for you," he replied in complete seriousness.  

Buffy hadn't really heard what he said.  She was too busy going through the things he had said, searching for the little detail she knew she was missing.  It had to be there.  Her conscience was screaming that she needed to find it.  That it was of dire importance.  And then it dawned on her.  Her eyes widened at the realization she'd come to.  She threw her head in his direction, staring straight into his deep brown eyes and verbalized her thoughts.

"Daylight.  You said you were watching me.  It was daylight.  H-How is that possible?" Buffy spoke and continued to stare straight at him.

Instead of answering her, he slowly walked over to her, holding her stare with one of his own.  Gently he picked up his hand and placed it onto his chest where his heart resided.  He watched as her eyes grew even wider than before.

"Y-you're h-heart…it's b-beating," she whispered, eyes glistening with unrealized tears.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

TBC…sorry for the cliffhanger! - feedback is a great motivator.


	7. Part 7 Do I Still Have A Reason

Author's Notes – Here ya go…Part 7.  After that not-so-nice cliffhanger I left you with on Part 6 I decided to get this part done quickly.  More Notes will be at the end.  Also posted some song lyrics at the bottom.  I heard the song and it struck me as very Buffy/Angel so I looked up the lyrics and added them.

And in case you hadn't noticed, I changed the title the last time I updated.  I picked 'Welcome Home' before I even started writing, and then as the fic took on a life of its own it didn't quite fit anymore.  'I Dreamt of Someday' came to mind when I was writing Part 3, I think, so I decided to rename it.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Part 7

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Beating.  His heart was beating.  That seemingly small detail had been the focus of so many of her dreams from the moment she first realized that she was in love with him.  And it was also something that she never thought she would ever get.  The first emotion that played across her own heart was an enormous feeling of joy, but not for her…for him.  If anyone deserved to have this gift, it was him.  He'd suffered so much for actions that he had no control over.  This was the way things should be for him.

The joy quickly passed, however, replaced by an overwhelming confusion.  The 'how' and also the 'what does this mean' reverberated in her mind.  The words were so deafening in her ears that the room seemed to begin to spin at a nauseously fast pace.  She closed her eyes and tried to shake the sickening feeling in her stomach, but it wouldn't go away.  Hastily, she pulled her hand off his chest where it had been lovingly place and backed slowly away from him only stopping when the backs of her thighs hit the edge of her desk knocking over some pictures with a loud thud.

Her equilibrium slightly righted itself by the distance now between them, but her confusion was still overpowering.  She found herself staring at the hand that had felt his beating heart only moments ago as if trying to figure out if it had been a trick of some sort.  Cautiously Buffy raised her eyes to his.

Angel watched as she discovered the reason that he had come to Sunnydale in the first place: the existence of his now beating heart.  The bewilderment in her eyes made him want to wrap his arms around her and ease her pain, but he couldn't.  He could tell that any type of physical contact at the moment would be too much for her.  So he forced himself to stay where he was and where the only way he could touch her was with words.

"Buffy?  Are you all right?" he asked out of genuine concern.

His question fell on deaf ears for she had one of her own that more pressing at the moment.  "How?" 

"It was part of my redemption from The Powers That Be.  They said I was ready for a reward for my work, for atoning for my…my demon's…sins, for helping those in need and fighting evil," relayed Angel, thinking back to a week prior when he had been summoned to The Powers messengers.

Something flickered briefly through Buffy's mind before she spoke again.  "Human…they made you human…" she trailed off softly.

"Sort of," began Angel as he turned and took his seat once again on the couch and then looked back up at Buffy.  "A few weeks ago we finally managed to take down Wolfram and Hart, for good.  We'd been battling them almost since I arrived in LA seven years ago.  They wreaked all sorts of havoc by allying themselves with the demon world, but we finally brought them down.  

A week ago, The Powers summoned me to see two of their messengers, Oracles, who pass on information for them.  They said that I'd help win a major battle for the forces of good and that I was now ready to receive part of my redemption, but that I was still needed as a fighter for good.  So my reward was not to be turned human, but more a part demon.  The evil influence of the demon is no longer present, but its strength, healing ability, and enhanced senses are still there.  My body is mortal for the most part, I can go in the sun, touch holy objects and such, I'll age, and I need regular food to survive, but I also still need blood occasionally to keep the demon part strong.  The Powers said that by doing this they were giving me a reason to believe in my redemption but also keeping me as one of their warriors at the same time."

After Angel finished his speech, the one that held the answers to his sudden trip to Sunnydale, he remained seated on the couch staring intently at the ground.  He was too afraid to look up at Buffy for fear of what he would see.  He was afraid that she wouldn't care that everything had changed for him…for them.  And that would hurt him more than any stake to the heart could.  When minutes passed by and he had still yet to receive any response from Buffy he ventured to cast his eyes upwards toward her.

Buffy absorbed every bit of his explanation, silently repeating it almost verbatim to herself until the full impact rose inside her.  She turned away from him, steadying herself by placing her hands on her desk.  Angel was human, for all intents and purposes.  He was human, like her.  He could go out in the daylight, he could enjoy human food…he could finally have some peace in his soul with the knowledge that he'd redeemed himself in the eyes of the higher Powers.  And he was…here…in Sunnydale…to tell all this to her.

Without turning around she at last spoke, barely able to form the words, her mind reeling at the implications of Angel's new state of being.  "This is why you came, isn't it?"

"Yes.  I-I thought you deserved to know," he answered honestly.

Buffy almost wished he'd said no, that there was some big evil he needed help fighting.  She couldn't face the real answer and what it meant, what he hoped it meant.  It was too much.  Just…too much.  She stumbled away from her desk, almost falling.  

"I-I need a-air.  I-please-I just need-," she didn't finish, but turned and dashed out of the office, not noticing Willow standing eyes wide, mouth open just outside her door.

Angel stood quickly and yelled for her to stop, but she was already down the stairs before the words left his mouth.  He found himself standing in the doorway watching Buffy run out the front door to the store.  It wasn't until Willow placed a gentle hand on his arm that he realized she was standing there.  One look at her face and he knew that she must have overheard part of their conversation.  All he wanted to do was chase after Buffy and make sure that she was all right, but he knew that she needed some time on her own right now.  He'd just dropped a major bomb on her and she just needed some time.  At least that's what he hoped, he didn't even want to consider the possibility that she was rejecting him.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

An hour later Willow and Xander found themselves seated at the research table in The Magic Box drinking hot chocolate.  Sierra was asleep on a couch in the back of store.  After Buffy had run out Willow had talked to Angel for a little while and convinced him to go back to the mansion, assuring him that she would call when Buffy returned so he would know that she was ok.  

Xander had arrived not long after Angel left and Willow filled him in on what had happened and what she, as well as Buffy, now knew about Angel.  Since then the two had been just sitting around chatting, hoping that Buffy would show up.  They both knew she was completely capable of taking care of herself, but it didn't stop them from worrying.  When the bell above the front door sounded both eagerly turned to look in that direction, hoping to see their favorite blonde slayer.  Instead, they were greeted by the site of another of their blonde friend, Spike.

"Willow, Xander," Spike greeted the two.  "Is Buffy here?  She was supposed to meet me at Restfield for a quick patrol, but she didn't show."

The two friends exchanged a glance and both sighed thinking about the events that had taken place.  It seemed to them that Buffy never got a break, that she was always fighting a battle of some kind whether it was with something evil or something more personal.  The only thing they wanted for their friend was for her to be happy and both recognized that she might now have that chance if she could get past her fears.

"No, she left over an hour ago.  She was kinda upset," Willow answered and poured a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows for Spike.

The blonde vampire shook his head and took a seat opposite Xander.  "Let me guess, the great poof did something…again."

"No…well, yeah sorta.  He didn't really do anything, just told her something and she took off afterwards," explained Willow.

"I swear those two could be the stars of their very own sappy TV show.  So what is it this time?" he questioned and then listened intently as Willow told him about Angel's visit, and what she had overheard.

When she finished Xander was the first to speak.  "Why do you think she ran?"

"Xander, come on.  Wouldn't you be kinda freaked if you just heard that the vampire, ex-lover who you've never really gotten over had just told you he was more or less human?" said Willow with a slight glare at Xander's cluelessness.

"Well, yeah, but don't you think she'd be excited about it?  I mean, I know I've never been a fan of Angel's, but that was a long time ago.  I want Buffy to be happy and we all know he's probably the only one who can truly make her happy.  I just don't get why she ran," clarified Xander.  His years with Anya, plus being around Spike for so long had softened his stance on the Angel issue, plus he wasn't chasing after Buffy anymore.  After all she'd been through, he felt she truly deserved a chance at 'happily ever after'.

"She's afraid," Spike stated with a shrug.  Both Willow and Xander turned to look at him, waiting for him to say more.

"Ever since he left...actually, probably before that, since he came back from hell…she's been forced to believe that she could never truly have him.  Even when he came back from hell and they were together she knew in the back of her head that they could never truly be together in the way both of them wanted.

I remember when I came back and kidnapped you and Red and they were trying to be 'just friends'…I knew, and I know they did too even if they wouldn't admit it, that they could never be friends.  They also could never been lovers anymore either.  And then he left.  Since then she's over and over convinced herself that as much as she wanted him, and he wanted her, that it could never happen.  

And the last few years I think she's convincer herself that she's not going to have love or romance period, just as she isn't going to have Angel.  She's believed that for so long, and then in comes Mr. Tall, Dark and Brooding puttin' the idea in her head that maybe she can have it.  I don't think she can believe…or wants to believe it.  She's too afraid to believe because for so long she told herself not to." Spike finished, took a swig of the cocoa in front of him, and realized that both Willow and Xander were still staring at him.

"What?" he asked, annoyed.

"Ya know blondie, even though I've been around you for a few years now I'm still not used to you being all…" he trailed off with frown, unable to find the right word.

"Perceptive?" filled in Willow.

"Exactly," Xander responded.

"Yeah well…," started Spike, but not really wanted to get into another discussion about how the soul had changed him so he avoided the subject adeptly.  "You know I'm right though."

"Ya got me there," answered Xander with a goofy grin.  "So what do you think will happen now?"

"Who knows.  Nothing is ever predictable when it comes to those two.  I wish we knew where Buffy is.  I don't like her being out there when she's upset, she could get hurt," Willow stated worriedly.

"I think I know where she went, I'll drive over there, have a look around, see if I see her, make sure she's all right," offered Spike as he stood up and walked toward the door.

"Ok, I'll give Angel a call see if he's heard anything and let him know you're gonna look for her," Willow said in response and picked up the phone.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Spike's vintage Ford Mustang pulled into the stone lot by the lake in the park.  He turned off the engine and shook his head slightly at the sight of the Tazmanian Devil air freshener Buffy had hooked onto one of the radio knobs.  She had told him it was so she didn't have to be suffocated by the smell of cigarettes every time she was in the car.  The mustang itself had also been her idea.  He would have been happy with any old piece of junk but she had said he looked good in it and that she didn't want to ride around in a car that looked like it was about to fall apart at any second.  So he caved in and got it, plus doing some restoration on it gave him something to do since there wasn't much to fill his time with.

When he got out of the car he heard sounds of fighting coming from the area where he knew Buffy liked to go to be alone.  It definitely sounded like somebody was getting their ass kicked, he just hoped it wasn't the Slayer.  Quickly Spike made his way to the clearing on the little cliff and found Buffy beating a vamp to a bloody pulp while two others began their charge toward her from opposite sides.  Sensing that she seemed to have things under control he hung back and watched.  Buffy swiftly stake the vamp under her and jumped to her feet, swinging her right leg up to kick one vamp in the head while plunging her left hand out to stake the other vamp.  As he crumbled into dust she turned and kicked the remaining one again before staking him.  Looking around and seeing all the vamps were gone she started to brush the dust off when Spike finally spoke up.

"Feel better, luv?" he said as he swaggered out from the shadows he was hiding in.

"They were intruding on my quiet time," she retorted with pointed look at him hoping he'd catch her meaning.

"Stupid vamps, not smart to cross a brassed off Slayer," he replied, ignoring her hint that he should leave.

"What are you doing here?" she shot out angrily.  All she wanted was to be alone and think about…stuff.  But it seemed as if people were intent on bothering her tonight.

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay, and that you weren't gettin' yourself into any trouble," shrugged Spike and glanced around at the piles of ashes.  "Shoulda guessed you'd found some, you're a magnet for trouble."

"Not my fault they were trying to take over my spot."  Buffy plopped herself down on the grass after realizing that Spike wasn't about to leave her to brood in peace.

Her bleach blonde companion had no intention of leaving her alone to talk herself out of giving his annoying wanker of a sire a chance.  He knew she was just afraid and fear is a powerful force.  No matter what rational thought tells you, fear can make you believe otherwise.  He remembered back to when he'd just gotten his soul and all the guilt he was feeling.  He'd been so afraid to live then, been afraid that he would never be forgiven, by her especially, even though he knew that if anyone understood the difference between the demon and the soul, it was her.  She'd been there for him, and now it was his turn to help her.

Spike sat himself down opposite her, feeling the need to be able to look her in the face while talking to her.

"Heard you went runnin' from The Magic Box and left Angel all by his lonesome." He looked at her waiting for a reaction as he lit his cigarette.  He knew his words would get a rise out of her.  And that was exactly his intention.  If he was going to get her to open up he needed to play off her anger.  It was probably the only way to get past the walls she had erected.

"I did NOT run," at his incredulous look, she hastily amended.  "Ok fine, I might as well have been running a marathon."

"Thought so.  Ya know for someone who hates it when people run away from her, especially certain poofy haired wankers, you seem to be doing just fine with that one your own."  As soon as he finished he waited for the explosion that was about to come.

"What the fuck do you know?  Huh?  Tell me?  What the hell was I supposed to do?  Just leap into his arms and forget about the past, all the pain he's caused me?  I SOO don't think so.  He can just go the hell back to LA and leave me alone."  By now she was standing and angrily pacing.  When she spoke again her voice had lost its furious tone, replaced by one laden with hurt and fear and weariness.

"Why did he have to come back here?  Everything was fine before he came.  I just can't deal with this.  What does he want from me?"  She sank to the ground, shoulders shaking from the violent sobs now emanating from her.

Spike gathered her up in his arms and stroked her hair.  His heart broke from the pain radiating off her.  As much as he wanted to, there was no way to ease the hurt.

"I can't answer that question, luv.  There's only one person who can," he said softly.  

e knewH

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

It was nearing 9pm when Buffy found herself sitting in her car in front of the mansion on Crawford Street.  The black convertible parked in the driveway assured her that he was inside which she wasn't quite sure made her happy or not.  Regardless, Buffy was resigned to the fact that she'd have to speak to him.

For the better part of an hour she'd talked and cried with Spike.  Unfortunately she hadn't really figured anything out and really had only made herself more confused.  Spike had laughed at her when she posed out loud that part of her wondered if the only reason that Angel had come to tell her about his new demon state was so that she wouldn't be surprised and that he could now be with some hypothetical woman he had waiting in LA.  After he'd finished laughing at her, he told her that even a blind person could tell that Angel was still head over heals for her.  His words didn't help soothe her fears one bit.  The only thing that came out of their talk was Spike convincing her that she need to see Angel, that it was the only way she'd know what he wanted from her.  So that's how she found herself now standing at the front door trying to work up the courage to knock.

Inside the mansion Angel was seated by the lit fireplace feeling utterly confused over Buffy's actions.  He didn't know exactly what he had been hoping she'd do, but running hadn't crossed his mind.  Not for the first time since he arrived in Sunnydale, Angel wondered if he had finally lost her for good.

His brooding was abruptly interrupted by a familiar tingling along his body.  He instantly knew that SHE was nearby.  Standing quickly, Angel attempted to clamp down on the joy he felt inside at knowing she was at least ok and hadn't gotten hurt after she'd run off.  Slowly he made his way to the front door.  The feeling inside increased and he knew she was very close now.  He nervously opened the door to find Buffy standing on the other side, hand poised ready to knock.

"Buffy…hi," Angel spoke lamely.

"Hi.  Can I come in?" she questioned in a business-like manner.

"Uh, sure," he replied and stepped out of the way so she could enter.

Once over the threshold, Buffy stopped and faced Angel.  She took deep breath, steeling herself to ask the question that was foremost in her mind.  "I need to know what you want from me."

"W-what?" he asked, confused.

"You came here to tell me about your redemption for a reason.  Was it just to tell me so I'd know?  Or was there another reason?"  Internally, she didn't dare admit that she wanted him to say that he still wanted her after all these years, and that this time, it was for forever.

"I-I wanted you to know.  I knew you'd be upset if I didn't and…" he turned away from her before finishing, his voice barely audible.  "and I couldn't help but hope."

"Hope for what?" Buffy whispered, still too afraid to see the light at the end of her proverbial tunnel.

"Hope that you'd still want me," Angel's own whisper replied.  He wanted nothing more than to wrap her up in his arms and love, but he knew she wasn't ready for that yet, if ever.

"Oh."  It wasn't what he was hoping she would say, and she knew that, but it was the only thing her mind could think to say at the moment.

Angel had yet to turn back around to face her which he was glad for at the moment because she would be able to see the tears streaming down his cheeks at her relative lack of response.  It broke his heart to think that she no longer wanted him.

"Do I still have a reason to hope?" he choked out faintly.

"I-I…Angel, I can't give you an answer to that…yet.  I just need some time, please," she pleaded before turning and soundlessly leaving the mansion.

By the time Angel turned around she was already gone, possibly forever, he thought.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

At the house on Revello Drive, Buffy was focusing on her current task with determination.  She had a list in her hand of the things she needed to do and take care of.  As she was checking over the items written Spike entered and threw a questioning look in her direction.  Once she had filled him in on her plans she asked him to do a favor for her, to which he reluctantly agreed.  After he left she set about finishing the last few things on her list and hoped that she was doing the right thing.  But at the moment it was the only thing she could think to do.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Spike approached the mansion with trepidation.  He wondered how he got suckered into doing this for her.  It was probably that damn pouty puppy dog look she cast at him.  This was definitely the last thing that he wanted to be doing, but he was going to do it anyway.

The front door was still open so he entered without knocking.  With a shake of his head he strode into the main room, knowing exactly where the broody sorta-vamp would be, and he was right.  Angel was seated near the fire, legs drawn up, forearms resting on his knees, and his head bowed downwards.

"Don't mean to interrupt your brooding, but the Slayer asked me to deliver a message to you," he said casually.  Angel didn't respond, just looked up at him, a lost look in his eyes.

"She's going away for a few days, up to San Francisco to see Dawn…which is really only an excuse to get away so she can do some brooding of her own.  But she wanted me to tell you so you'd know, for whatever reason," Spike explained with a pity-filled countenance directed at his sire.

"Oh…okay…thanks," Angel replied sadly.

"If you want my advice, which you probably don't, I'd stick around.  If she comes back and you're gone…well I just wouldn't do that," warned Spike before turning and leaving the mansion.  

Angel barely heard his warning.  All he could think was that she was gone.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

_Saliva _

_"Always"_

_I hear... a voice say "Don't be so blind"..._

_it's__ telling me all these things..._

_that__ you would probably hide..._

_am__ I... your one and only desire..._

_am__ I the reason you breathe..._

_or__ am I the reason you cry..._

_Always... always... always... always... always... always... always...___

_I just can't live without you..._

_I love you..._

_I hate you..._

_I can't live without you..._

_I breathe you..._

_I taste you..._

_I can't live without you..._

_I just can't take anymore..._

_this__ life of solitude..._

_I guess that i'm out the door..._

_and__ now i'm done with you..._

_I feel... like you don't want me around..._

_I guess i'll pack all my things..._

_I guess i'll see you around..._

_Inside... it bottles up until now..._

_as__ I walk out your door..._

_all__ I hear is the sound..._

_Always... always... always... always... always... always... always...___

_I just can't live without you..._

_I love you..._

_I hate you..._

_I can't live without you..._

_I breathe you..._

_I taste you..._

_I can't live without you..._

_I just can't take anymore..._

_this__ life of solitude..._

_I guess that i'm out the door..._

_and__ now i'm done with you..._

_I love you..._

_I hate you..._

_I can't live without you..._

_I left my head around your heart..._

_Why would you tear my world apart..._

_Always... always... always... always...___

_I see... the blood all over your hands..._

_does__ it make you feel... more like a man..._

_was__ it all... just a part of your plan..._

_this__ pistol's shakin' in my hands..._

_and__ all I hear is the sound..._

_I love you..._

_I hate you..._

_I can't live without you..._

_I breathe you..._

_I taste you..._

_I can't live without you..._

_I just can't take anymore..._

_this__ life of solitude..._

_I guess that i'm out the door..._

_and__ now i'm done with you..._

_I love you..._

_I hate you..._

_I can't live without you..._

_I love you..._

_I hate you..._

_I can't live without you..._

_I just can't take anymore..._

_this__ life of solitude..._

_I pick myself off the floor..._

_and__ now i'm done with you..._

_Always...___

_Always...___

_Always...___

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

TBC…feedback = more fic

Author's Notes – Ok, I know this will probably annoy everyone, but this fic is going on a SHORT sabbatical.  It won't be too long, probably a few weeks.  Two reasons: 1. I need to work on my other fics, I've been working solely on this one for a while, and even though I adore this fic, I need to update my others, and 2. Since I decided to extent this fic to beyond my original intentions, I have to figure out the rest of the plot.  I have the next part loosely planned, but after that, I have no clue.  So before I write much more I need to decide on a plotline.

Also, to those of you who want to know what's up with the LA crew, they will be worked in very soon, possibly the next part.  I haven't decided what to do about Connor.  Originally, I ignored that whole storyline, but I've been thinking about including him in some form.  Any opinions?  Send them my way.

I wanna say thanks to all the feedback I've gotten, and extra special thanks to those of you who've been reading this fic since I started posting it.  It's great to know that you all like it!

One last thing…some fluff will be coming soon J


	8. Part 8 To Live The Dream

Author's Notes –  Sorry to anyone who has been waiting for this fic to be updated.  I took a longer than expected break…my muse got lost, and I also hurt my wrist, but I think I'm back on track now.  Although I'd planned updating my other fics first, I keep being drawn back to this one.  This part is on the short side…sorry!  I just wanted to get an update out.  I think there will 2, maybe 3 more parts to this fic…expect fluffiness from here on out though, gotta get mostly everyone happy!  And I may bring in a former cast member to play with *evil smirk*.  Heehee.

On another note…I continued the way I've been writing Spike, more nice than he probably would be, I just like him that way, deal with it.  And Xander is a bit out of character here, just assume he matured.

Warning – This part gets rather sappy!!!

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Part 8

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

A week of deafening silence and solitude passed by for Angel.  He'd left the mansion only once to retrieve some food and supplies.  Since then, however, he'd kept himself locked away from the world.  Willow came by once to check on him, but Angel suspected that Spike had sent her to see if he had stayed in town.  He had.  Even if leaving was what he wanted to do, he just didn't seem to have the energy to do it.  It was like the life force had been sucked out of him the moment Spike told him that Buffy was gone.

Day after day, and night after night he sat and replayed the series of events with Buffy over and over again in his head, trying to figure what he could have done differently so that Buffy would now be in his arms rather than off somewhere…else.  He chastised himself repeatedly for the things he had done.  If only he hadn't attempted to leave without telling her.  Then things might be different.  If only…

But they weren't different.  And he couldn't go back and change the things he did, no matter how much he wished that he could.  Now, he would just have to wait for her to return…if she returned.  This, of course, led Angel to imagine a multitude of scenarios of what she might do when she came back.  Most of them involved her sticking a metaphorical stake into his now beating heart.  A scant few, however, gave him hope, and fueled his dreams for the future.

For now, though, he just had to wait…and he idly wondered where all the patience he once possessed had gone.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

a few hours away…somewhere in California

The moon was full and high in the sky, bright stars twinkling all around it.  For a moment she wondered where Oz was, and how he was doing.  It was one of the few moments when Angel hadn't occupied her every thought.  It had been a week since she left, and still, the answer to the all important question of 'what does Buffy do now?' had yet to be answered.

After leaving Sunnydale, Buffy went and spent a day with Dawn, neglecting to tell her the reason for her surprise visit.  This was a decision she needed to make on her own.  And although Dawn had always liked Angel, Buffy thought that she still had hopes that her future would be with Spike.

From Dawn's she traveled to a quiet spa in the mountains that the gang had sent her to for her birthday last year.  It was an amazing place, but of course when she'd been there before, a little demon problem had arisen.  That, however, had had an upside.  After disposing of the demon, the spa's owner had told her she could return anytime, free of charge.  A nice little perk for just doing her job.

So that's where she now was…sitting on the private balcony of her suite.  Her days had been spent enjoying the activities of the spa: mud baths, massages, manicures, facials, and the like.  And her nights spent relaxing in the comfort of her room.  Despite the peacefulness of her surroundings, she found herself in inner turmoil.  With Angel at the center of it.

She could still hear him asking her the all important question the last time she'd seen him…"_Do I still have a reason to hope_?"  That was the deal breaker, in relative terms.  Did he still have a reason?  Did she want to give him a reason?  COULD she give him a reason.  Part of her wanted so badly to give him a reason.  Years ago, a real chance to be with him was all that she had ever hoped for.  But that was so long ago…many broken hearts ago, before it had become too hard to hope.  Before he'd walked away from her.  And now…she just didn't know.  She didn't know if she could once again put her heart out there knowing that there was a chance that it could once again be torn to shreds.  She just didn't know if she could do it.  She wanted to…but she was just…afraid.

Sighing, Buffy settled further into the lounge chair on the balcony and pulled the lightweight blanket tighter around her shoulders.  It had been a week, and she was still no closer to knowing if she was willing to risk it.  She wondered if the spa owner would let her stay until she decided because she wasn't going back to Sunnydale until she knew what she wanted.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

back in Sunnydale…a few days later

"Have you heard from here?" Xander questioned as he, Willow, and Spike sat around the table at the house.  

"No, nothing since she called from Dawn's to say she got there," informed Willow.

"And Dawn called later to let us know that Buffy had only stayed a day and then took off without saying where she was going," added Spike.

"Dawn called me again too.  She said Buffy seemed really quiet but wouldn't say what was wrong so Dawn asked me.  So I told her, didn't see why she shouldn't know.  She offered to come kick Angel's ass for Buffy," relayed Willow while Spike grinned at Dawn's offer.  He certainly wouldn't mind seeing to poof getting his ass kicked by the littlest Summers.

"So basically we have no clue where Buffy is?" responded Xander while reaching for his mug of hot chocolate.

"That's what it comes down to," answered Willow.  "I hope she's all right."

"I'm sure the Slayer's fine.  She just needs some time off by herself," Spike said barely hiding his worry.

"Yeah, she's fine…" agreed Xander unconvincingly.

"What about you Spike?  How are YOU doing?" asked Willow, looking straight at the peroxide blonde.

"What do you mean?  What have I got to do with this?" questioned a confused Spike.

"Well, you are kinda Buffy's live-in non-boyfriend.  If she gets back together with Angel…that kinda leaves you…well…," trailed off Xander.  In the past few years the annoying vampire had become more or less a friend and he shared Willow's worry about how things might affect Spike.

"I want the Slayer to be happy.  That's what it all comes down to.  Doesn't matter what happens to me," shrugged Spike.

"Yeah, but Spike…you two are practically together all the time, you share a room, and we know that you've well…been…'sleeping' together…occasionally.  You can't tell us that you can just brush all that off if she goes back to Angel," said Willow softly.  

"Like I said, doesn't matter.  Not really.  The poof is the only one who has ever made her truly happy.  I love her, yeah…but…we're not…'in love' with each other.  I knew this wouldn't last forever.  I figured someday he'd be back," spoke Spike, tamping down on the sadness and slight jealousy he felt deep down inside.  He'd never admit it out loud, but as much as he wanted Buffy's happiness he hated the idea of having to let her go.  And he knew he would have to, maybe not right now, but he knew that eventually she'd go back to him.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

2 weeks from when Buffy left Sunnydale

"Yes, Cordelia, I'm fine," gritted out Angel.  "No, I'm not brooding…I don't know when I'll be back…No, I can't just leave…Cor-…Fine, I'll call you tomorrow…Bye."

Angel tossed his cell phone onto the table a little harder than he normally would have, unconsciously hoping the modern contraption would break so he wouldn't be able to call her back.  As important as Cordelia was to him, she had a way of grating on his, and others, nerves with her tactless persistence.  

It was Sunday night, two weeks since he'd last been in Buffy's presence.  Part of him was beginning to believe that she wasn't coming back…or at least coming back to him.  For all he knew, she could already be back in Sunnydale and he just didn't know.  Angel had kept himself secluded in the mansion, alone with his thoughts.  Willow had been by again, to see if he'd heard from Buffy since apparently none of the gang had either.  When he found out that nobody knew where she was, it worried him immensely.  Now he just wished that she would return, even if it was to tell him to go to hell, only so he would know she was safe.

With unhurried steps, Angel made his way into the kitchen and retrieved a bag of blood.  Since he was still partially a vampire, he still needed the blood on occasion and he hadn't had any in weeks.  Without even bothering to warm the red liquid he vamped out and sank his fangs into the bad, unenthusiastically gulping down the coppery tasting substance.  The blood didn't hold as much pleasure in his new demon state as it once did.  When the bag was drained he tossed it into the trash can and glanced around the kitchen.  He'd have to go out for more food tomorrow.  That was a task he was not looking forward to.

Angel wondered back into the main room and absent mindedly tossed another log on the fire.  For a few minutes he just stood there staring into the bright orange-red flames as they consumed the untouched wood.  Fire was such an interesting element.  So simple, yet so powerful and deadly.  Breaking his gaze, he stepped to the right and sank down to the ground next to the fireplace.  With his knees pulled up, forearms resting against them, and head resting back against the wall, Angel settled in for yet another night of what those who knew him would call brooding.  

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

With a slightly unusual determination Buffy drove past the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign on the outskirts of town.  For two weeks she'd spent hours upon hours trying to determine what she wanted, which direction she wanted her future to go in.  She had thought about it from every angle possible, but the answers to her questions never came to her.  Then, this afternoon, as she sat in one of the spa's hot tubs, sipping at a deliriously wonderful strawberry daiquiri, it had come to her with a surprising suddenness.  At that moment she hadn't even been debating her various options, she was just idly letting her mind roam to whatever.  That's when it hit her.  It was then that she knew what it was she wanted, and needed to do.  And that was why she now found herself driving down the ever familiar streets of Sunnydale once again.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Maybe it was the intensity of his brooding, or the unexpectedness of it, but Angel didn't even notice that someone had entered the room until he heard the silence around him broken by a softly spoken word.  His head snapped up and found himself eye to eye with the blonde haired focus of his thoughts.

"Wh-what?" he asked unsteadily as he took in her appearance.  She looked radiant.  Wherever she had gone, it must have been an utterly relaxing place.

"Yes," Buffy repeated confidently the word she had spoken just moments before.  When Angel only stared at her, brow scrunched, mouth agape, and a look of hopeful confusion in his eyes she spoke again.  "You asked me a question two weeks ago, right before I left.  And now I have an answer for you.  Yes."

Angel continued to stare at Buffy, bewilderment filling his eyes as he recalled the question she was referring to…_Do I still have a reason to hope?  His expression softened instantly at the realization of what she was saying.  He wanted to say something, but all the words that came to mind seemed inadequate of what he wanted to express to her.  Instead he slowly stood from where he had been seated and cautiously walked toward the one woman that he could call his true love._

After she had spoken, Buffy watched as the emotions flashed across Angel's face.  She knew she was perhaps the one person who could ever truly read his feelings from just looking at him.  The look of utter joy in his eyes when he figured out her meaning reaffirmed the choice she made.  The choice that if Angel wanted her, then she would, once again, give herself to him.

His slow steps brought him only inches from her before he stopped.  Words had yet to cross his lips but he knew she understood what he was feeling.

Neither moved for minutes, content to stare into one another's eyes, letting them do the talking.  Relief flooded through Angel at knowing that it wasn't too late, that he and Buffy would finally have a chance.  A real chance to be happy, without all the clauses and meddling friends and family that were there before.

For Buffy, the feeling was one of hope.  Hope that she'd long ago buried deep inside herself.  She'd long believed that Angel, and love in general, was out of reach for her, that the companionship that she had with Spike, or even someone else in the future, was all that she would ever have.  But now, hope was alive again.  And maybe this time all of her dreams…their dreams…wouldn't be violently crushed as they had in the past.

The mere inches separating them soon became too much for Angel and he swept her up gently against him, wrapping his arms around her small body.  Just the feel of her form pressed against him made his soul scream out in happiness.  It had been missing its mate for far too long.  Angel reveled in the sensations that arose in him, the smell of her hair, sweet vanilla combined with an earthy floral scent, the warmth of her skin, which now matched his own, the sound of her heart, beating rapidly as was his.  It was almost more than he could handle, but he cherished every second of it.  Some part of him never expected his dreams to become reality, that he would have her love again, but the sight before him told otherwise.  Tears began to slowly creep down his cheeks, in relief, in joy, in peace, because of the golden goddess cradled in his arms.

Angel's arms pulling her forward came as a surprise, but the moment she was settled against his strong body, every tense muscle within her ceased to exist.  She'd forgotten how safe and all encompassing it felt to be in his arms.  It had been so long.  She never expected to have this feeling again.  With him, she didn't always have to be the strong one, with him she could let go and let him take care of her.  She loved the way her body seemed perfectly molded against his.  Some would think his large, masculine frame would feel threatening, but to her, all it ever felt like was home.  As she laid her head against his chest, she heard the steady thumping of a heart once long dead, and tears flowed from her eyes at the precious miracle before her, one that she'd almost thrown away, but now knew she'd never again be apart from.

Together, the lovers, reunited for what they hoped for good this time, held each other tightly, relishing the return of something that both thought long gone, as they cried silent tears that held a multitude of meanings.  The foremost of which being promises to each other, that this time, they wouldn't let anything tear them apart.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Just outside the entrance to the main room of the mansion, three unexpected guests stood in awe of the reunion they had just witnessed.  At Cordelia's urging, Willow, Xander, and Spike had gone to the mansion to try and get Angel to go out to dinner with them.  But when they arrived they saw Buffy entering the front door and quickly hurried in after her.  The two warriors were oblivious to their presence just feet away as they were lost in each other.  The three knew that what they were witnessing was a private moment, but none of them could find the will to leave.

Willow felt tears moisten her eyes watching estranged soulmates reunite.  Long ago she'd harbored such romantic fantasies for the star-crossed duo, but Angel's abrupt exit from Sunnydale and the ensuing pain emanating from her best friend had left less than nice feelings toward the once-vampire.  For years she'd pushed Buffy toward other men, willing her friend to move on with her life.  But Willow's own personal losses had made her realize that true love could not be pushed aside and she found herself smiling and happy for her friends renewed chance at love.

Alongside Willow, Xander was also captivated by the scene.  He'd not so long ago recognized that Angel wasn't the bad guy he'd always thought him to be, but now, for the first time, he really understood the love between his blonde haired friend and her cradle-robbing-creature-of-the-night boyfriend.  How he could have missed it when he was younger escaped him.  The love radiating off the pair now was palpable, even Xander knew those most cynical of romance would be hard pressed to deny its existence after witnessing this scene.

Slightly behind the other two stood Spike, conflicting feelings surging through him.  Predominantly, he was beyond happy for oft-tortured Slayer.  She'd experienced so much loss in her life, she deserved some peace and happiness.  And to anyone, it was obvious that Angel could give her that.  But at the same time he felt an immense sense of loss for the person he'd come to rely on so much.  She'd been his savior all those years ago when the restoration of his soul threatened to consume him.  She was the light in the dark world that a vampire such as himself lived in.  For the first time Spike realized just how true that statement was.  Buffy was so much more than just 'The Chosen One'.  But she wasn't his, never had been, and never would be.  It hurt more than he thought it would and he wondered what this meant for his life now.  Even so, he was happy for her, happy that she'd once more found the love she deserved.

The three stood there for a few minutes more, still entranced by the reunited lovers before they finally turned quietly left the mansion.  Each held different feelings inside, but they all realized that it was finally Buffy's time to be happy, to live the dream.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

TBC…feedback feeds my muse! …and yes, there will be much more fluff coming!  Maybe an nc-17 interlude posted on my website (haven't decided on that idea yet)


	9. Part 9 The Scenic Route

AN – UGH, something went way screwy with this fic on ff.net, and in the process of trying to fix it, I ended up deleting the whole fic, thereby losing all my reviews…all 44 of them…*cries*, please leave me some feedback so I can have some reviews listed, I'd really appreciate it!

Author's Notes – This is mostly a fluffy part with a bit of angst.  But of special note, assume that between B/A's meeting during Forever and the post Flooded/CN meeting, that Angel told Buffy the basics about LA (i.e. Darla, W&H, rescuing Fred, Cordy getting the visions, etc).  I don't feel like having him explain ALL that stuff, there's enough more important stuff he has to explain.  Also, I know many of you wanted me to include s7/4's big bads and what has been going on, but I'm not going to.  This fic is post s6/3, so anything after that is left out.  It would have made things more complicated than I wanted to make them, and basically I have no idea where Joss is going with some of the 'interesting' events of this season on both shows.  So just block out what has been happening on both shows.  Also, Connor is included, as well as talk about A/C but I changed things slightly from actual happenings on the show, so just bear with me, and accept the changes for the purpose of creative freedom and storyline needs.

AN2 – I'm not all that satisfied with this part, I glossed over a lot, but honestly, I didn't want to have to have Angel rehash so much, and I'm no where near as familiar with ATS as I am with BTVS.  And I altered things a tad.  Plus Buffy is exceedingly understanding, maybe too much.  But try to ignore any of those faults.

Special Dedication – This goes out to the cast of BTVS (even though they'll never read this).  It's been a great ride for 7 years.  All of us fans, me included, will miss the show greatly.

Spoilers – general for 'IWRY', 'This year's girl', 'Who are you', 'Sanctuary', and basic knowledge of ATS major stories for seasons 1-3

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Part 9

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

For long minutes, history's strongest Slayer, and The Powers That Be's chosen Warrior remained locked in a hushed embrace.  Tear tracks marred the face of each.  But they were not tears of sadness.  They were tears arisen from the restoration of a union that seemed forever doomed.  Both had always hoped that this exact moment would someday come, but neither had really truly believed that it ever would.  And now that it had, the emotions it triggered were overwhelming.

It was Angel who finally broke the silence with words softly whispered into his beloved's ear.

"You're back."

"You noticed that huh?" she joked softly.

"I didn't think you would."

"I wasn't sure I would either."

"What made you decide?"

"Why don't we go sit on the couch and talk, I guess there's a lot we both need to say." Buffy replied while forcing herself to pull out of the long held embrace.

The two walked hand in hand to the sofa in the middle of the room.  Angel sat on the end while Buffy sat facing him with her legs cross, the need for physical contact remained and they continued holding hands.

"We were so worried about you, no one knew where you were," Angel spoke, looking directly into her eyes.

"I'm sorry about that.  I needed to get away, and I didn't want anyone to know where.  They would only try to tell me what to do, or talk in circles, I needed to decided for myself," spoke Buffy with a sigh before continuing.

"They mean well, but sometimes they push me in certain direction just because they think its what's best for me.  Anyway, I went and saw Dawn, then I went up to this place in the mountains, a spa where they pamper you like you wouldn't believe.  But mostly I spent the whole time trying to figure out what I wanted.  No matter how much I thought about everything though, I just couldn't figure it all out.

"I guess you did decide, though, since you're here," interjected Angel when she paused for a few moments.

"I did.  It's funny, I wasn't even really thinking about it this morning when it came to me.  I was just sitting there relaxing, not trying to think about anything.  Then these visions, or maybe they were dreams, started popping up in my head about us doing things together that we never had a chance to do before, walks on the beach, hanging out with the gang, waking up next to each other.  When I snapped myself out of my little fantasies I realized how much I wanted those things with you, and that was when I knew what it was that I wanted to do.  Which brings me to now," finished Buffy with a slight hitch in her voice.  She hadn't meant to let it show, but there was still some unease in her decision, she was still afraid that he would break her heart again.

Angel recognized the hesitation in her voice and closed his eyes for a moment.  He knew that he was still going to have to work to win back her trust after all the things he'd done to her in the distant and not so distant past.  But he was willing to work at it.  This time, he was not going to let her get away.  

With a gentleness uncommon for a person of his size and bulk, he pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her once again.  Buffy immediately relaxed in the new position, laying her head against the broad expanse of his chest while Angel rested his cheek on the top of her head.

"Just so you know, I want those things to…the things you dreamed about.  There's nothing I want more in this world than to have to moments with you," he whispered soothingly to her.

"I know.  I knew that before I left, but it's not easy to forget the past.  It's always there reminding me of all the hurt and heartache," Buffy replied in a soft voice.

"And I've caused most of that.  You'll never know how sorry I am for all of the things that I've done that have hurt you," answered Angel sorrowfully.

"Angel, no.  We've both hurt each other more times than imaginable.  I've done things I'm not so proud of that have hurt you deeply."  Buffy lifted her head to look at Angel's eyes before continuing.  "I never did say I was sorry for the things I said to you in LA when I came because of Faith.  I've regretted those words ever since then.  I lashed out and hurt you because of it."

"I won't lie to you and say it didn't hurt because it did.  I felt like my heart was torn in two.  Deep down I knew you didn't mean it, that you were just trying to hurt me, but it still stung," responded Angel as he stroked the back of her hair.

"I was upset and hurt.  Faith had come out of her coma and reeked havoc on my life.  She attacked me, switched our bodies, slept with Riley, and then I come to LA and found you protecting her.  I just couldn't understand it at the time.  So I lashed out.  And on some unconscious level I was punishing you.  I couldn't believe that Riley had been with her and hadn't known it wasn't really me.  I knew you would have figured it out.  But you weren't there.  You left me.  And I wanted to punish you for that.  So I said all those things to you, but I never really meant it," explained Buffy in a tear stained voice.

"I know, baby.  It's ok.  We were both hurting and we both did things we regret.  For my part, I'm sorry too, for 'stalking' you that Thanksgiving, the things I said when you came about Faith, for all the times I haven't been there for you in the past years, and most of all, I'm sorry for the way I left you.  If I had it to do over again, I'd do it differently, but even so, I still would have left.  I wanted what was best for you and I didn't think you'd get that if I had stayed," said Angel, hoping that she understood what he was trying to convey.

"I understand that now or at least I try to.  I didn't get it at the time and it hurt more than you could possibly know to think that you didn't want to be with me.  I was so young then, though  I needed to grow up…"

"and I needed to find myself, to find my purpose in life," finished Angel.  "Maybe we had to be apart to be ready for now.  We had to become the people that we are before we could look toward our future, together."

"Maybe, but the short trip around would have been better than the scenic route.  Would have saved on a lot of not-so-nice stuff that we did to each other," replied Buffy in a sarcasm tinged voice.

"Yeah, it would have.  But that's all in the past now.  We can't change it, and we probably can't ever forget about it all, but we can move forward from it.  We can learn from out past mistakes and look toward a future, our future, together," responded Angel, his voice soft and gentle.

"Together, I like the sound of that," sighed Buffy while laying her head back down on his chest.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

"So tell me about LA.  I told you what's been going on here, tell me what's been going on with your team," questioned Buffy later that night after the pair spent much time just holding each other.

"A lot's happened in the past few years.  Some of it I probably should have called an told you about, but at the time there was so much going on that I didn't have a chance, and then later I kept talking myself out of it, and there was some other…stuff going on.  But please hear me out before you get upset about anything I say.  I guess I'll start with the less important stuff.  Remember the girl Fred I told you about," at Buffy's nod he continued.

"Her and Gunn got married a few years ago, they still work for me.  So do Wes and Cordy.  We've basically just spent the last few years fighting evil, saving souls.  We took down Wolfram & Hart, finally, like I told you.  We're still working from the hotel I told you about.  Lorne, the demon who reads souls, re-opened Caritas last year, but we still see him a lot…" he trailed off not knowing how to tell her about the major things that had happened in his life.

"Angel, it's ok.  You can tell me anything.  I can't guarantee it won't upset me, but I'll try to understand," reassured Buffy.

"I know, I just don't want to hurt you anymore," Angel sighed and rubbed his hands over his face.  "Darla came back not long after the last time I saw you all those years ago.  And she was pregnant.  Which I know you're thinking is not possible.  But she was.  And she said the child was mine."  The look of utter shock on Buffy's face did not escape Angel.

"To make a very long story short, she got pregnant on that one night we spent together, the one I told you about.  There was some prophecy about two vampires creating a child.  So there was Darla, pregnant.  In the end, she staked herself to save the baby, it would have never been able to be born otherwise.  And all of the sudden I had a son, Connor.  He was the light in my dark world."

"Was?" repeated Buffy.  Despite the shock of learning Angel had a son, and hurt that it hadn't been her that carried it, she had noticed his use of the past tense.

"Everyone was after Connor, any evil group you could imagine wanted him.  And there was Holtz, a man who time-traveled from long ago to exact revenge on me for killing his family.  Wolfram & Hart was also playing some mind games.  During all that Wes found some prophecy that said I would kill Connor and in the end he kidnapped him.  But that played right into Holtz's plan.  He and this girl Justine almost killed Wes and took Connor.  I watched as Holtz jumped through a portal to another dimension…with my son."  Tears burned in Angel's eyes as he spoke of one of the most horrible events in his life.

"Oh Angel, I'm so sorry.  I can't imagine what that would have been like for you.  And to have Wes take your son," soothed Buffy.  Any hurt she felt over the son she never knew about faded into the background as she listened to Angel talk about him.  The love that radiated in his eyes for the child was obvious and she couldn't help but feel glad that Angel had had a chance to be a father, even if it wasn't with her.

"I felt so betrayed by Wes, I could have killed him.  As it was, I didn't want anything to do with him for months, but eventually we slowly started working our way back, it took a long time, though, to feel comfortable with each other again.  It changed both of us.  Wes became a bit…harder because of what he had done and the aftermath.  And I'd lost my son, that changes a person," said Angel sadly.

"I don't know if I would have ever been able to trust him again.  I still remember what he did when Faith shot you with the poisoned arrow.  You were always better at forgiveness than me though," smirked Buffy, thinking back on the things that had happened with Faith.  "What happened with Connor?  Did you try to get him back?"

"We tried, but nothing seemed to work, and then one day he just came back on his own, a few months later.  A portal opened up in the hotel while we were all standing there and out dropped a teenage boy.  Connor.  In the few months he was gone on earth, he grew up years in a Hell-like dimension.  He was so hostile.  Holtz had fed him endless diatribes about me.  He was taught to hate me.  I tried so hard to convince him I wasn't a monster.  All I wanted was to be his father.  I thought for a while I was getting through to him, but then Holtz struck again, killing himself and making it look like I killed him.  Connor attacked me, locked me in a metal tomb and dropped me into the ocean.  I was there for months until Wes rescued me.  When I got out I told Connor that I loved him but that I never wanted to see him again.  And I haven't," finished Angel, tears rolling out of his eyes.

"That must have been hard for you," stated Buffy, saddened by the things she hadn't been there to help Angel through.  

"It was, but it was what I had to do.  Nothing I did would make him understand that I'm not the monster that Angelus was.  And I couldn't let him continue to hurt my team, and me, the way that he was.  I still think about him all the time.  I keep my ear to the ground, and every once in a while I hear something about a kid fighting demons.  So I know he's still out there and ok.  I guess I still hope that someday, he'll be able to accept me, but I can't force him to.  If he does, it will be when he's ready to," explained Angel, not bothering to hide the hurt in his voice over the situation with his son.

"I hope someday he does.  He's missing out on having a great father," stated Buffy, lifting her hand to lightly caress his cheek.

"Thank you, it means a lot to me to hear you say that, and thank you for being so understanding.  I know it must be hard to hear about it," replied Angel, reaching up his own hand to cup the one Buffy had placed on his face.

"It's…strange, I'll admit that, and it hurts a little.  But I can see how much he meant…means…to you.  Who am I to judge you about it?  At least I already knew about what happened with Darla before.  And it's not like you're telling me about a girlfriend or something."  The minute the words left her mouth, Buffy instantly recognized the guilt on his face and the sudden stiffness throughout his body.

"Angel?" she questioned nervously.  When he didn't reply and wouldn't look her in the face she quickly scrambled out of his lap and came to a halt a few feet in front of him.  "Tell me," she demanded.

"There was someone…a few years back," Angel replied guiltily.  When he saw that Buffy was waiting for him to tell more, he went on.  "I was lonely, Connor needed a mother, and she was always around.  These feelings just started to arise that I didn't understand.  Everyone around us was pushing us together and she seemed to feel the same way.  So we just kind of…got together.  It didn't last long though."

Buffy listened to him talk about this other woman and felt anger building within her.  She knew it wasn't exactly fair to be upset about it.  Angel had every right to move on with his life.  She had.  But at the same time, when she thought about the reasons he had left her for, it seemed she had every right to be a bit angry.

"Who was she?" Buffy bit out.

"It's not imp-" started Angel, but quickly realized he was going to have to answer the question.  "Cordelia."

"CORDELIA?!?!  The Cordelia Chase?  Queen C bitch of Sunnydale?!?!" she screamed out.

"Yes," winced Angel.

"Oh, this is just great.  YOU leave ME so I can have this 'normal life' you think I have to have, but you can hook yourself up with Cordelia?" Buffy yelled angrily.  

"Which is exactly what she said," responded Angel softly.

"Huh?" wondered Buffy as she stopped the pacing she'd started a few moments earlier.

"That's the same thing she told me.  A few months after we got together she came to me one day and said it wasn't going to work.  She said she wasn't going to play second best to you," explained Angel tiredly.  He had known this topic was going to come up and that Buffy was not going to like it.  Rubbing the back of his neck for a moment and then leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees he continued.

"She gave me this big speech one day about how she knew why I left you, that I loved you so much that I left you to have better than me.  And how I was afraid to stay with you for fear of releasing the demon again.  Then she asked me how I thought that made her feel.  I didn't really understand why she asked me that so she spelled it out plain and simple for me.  I left you to have a normal life and to keep myself from getting too happy, but I would let myself be with Cordelia.  She told me that led to two conclusions for her, one being that I didn't love her as much as you since I was willing to keep her from a normal life, and the other being that I didn't seem to be afraid of getting too happy with her.  So she told me that she wasn't going to play some consolation prize since I couldn't have you," finished Angel, warily casting a glance in Buffy's direction.

"That's Queen C for ya, never one to stand for being second best," joked Buffy lamely, not knowing what else to say at the moment.

"She was right, though.  I was desperate, and lonely.  And so much was going on at that point in time.  I took whatever feelings I had for her and made them into love.  There was a certain feeling a safety for me being with her, and she was there at a time when I really needed someone," relayed Angel quietly as he prayed that Buffy would understand what he was going through.

"Angel," started Buffy, running a hand through her long blonde hair.  "I can't say I'm not hurt that you let yourself be with her.  It definitely stings a bit.  But I can understand that need, to lose yourself in someone.  My reasons for doing it may have been different, but that's what I did with Spike after I was brought back to life."  As she finished the sentence, Buffy sat herself down on the couch next to Angel, pulling her knees up to her chest.

"Do you forgive me for it?" asked Angel with a cautious look in Buffy's direction.

"No…because there's nothing I have to forgive you for.  As much as I hate the idea that you let yourself be with her, I don't have a right to be mad, we weren't together then.  So we both did the best we could given our circumstances."  Climbing onto Angel's lap once again, Buffy spoke in a tired voice, "we really know how to make a mess of our lives don't we?"

"Yes, love, that we do," chuckled Angel, a mirroring tiredness in his voice.

Without intending to, the two lovers were soon mired in a deep sleep, wrapped in each others arms.  Buffy lay with her head resting over the steady beat of Angel's newly awakened heart while her Angel rested his cheek against the top of her head, savoring the sweet scent that he'd missed for so long.  Nothing could disturb the pair as they slept more peacefully than either had in a long time.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Buffy was slowly awakened by a stray beam of sunlight caressing her smooth skin.  The feel of strong arms still wrapped gently around her caused a silent sigh to escape her lips.  This was exactly where she'd dreamed of being for so long.  And it was blissfully perfect.

She knew without looking that Angel was also awake.  The soft, lulling motion of one of his thumbs on the small of her back assured her of that.  She shifted slightly to bring her left hand out from around his waist up on to his chest, content to feel the strong muscles beneath.

"I've only felt this way once before.  Like a normal girl, falling asleep in the arms of her normal boyfriend. It's perfect." She cooed in a quiet voice, afraid to break the peace of the early morning.

Angel instantly stiffened after hearing her words.  Even now, so many years later, he still remembered every single moment of their lost day.  The one he had taken back without giving her a choice.  The one she still knew nothing about.  He knew that he had to tell her, but he feared her reaction.  They'd gained so much in the last few hours, he didn't want to lose it all once again.  But he had to do it.

The sudden change in Angel's body language was not lost on Buffy.  She debated for a moment about whether to push him to talk about it, and decided they needed to clear the air, about everything.

"Angel?" she questioned, finally picking her head up off his chest to look into his eyes.

"Buffy…I…there's something I need to tell you about," he stuttered out with a nervousness of epic proportions.

"Angel…I know," Buffy responded in a steady voice.

"K-know?  W-what?" he breathed out, confused at her words.  He wondered what it was she 'knew'.  There was no way she could…

Buffy turned in his lap so that she could look directly into his eyes.  She'd known, or at least she'd hoped she known, exactly what her words would trigger in Angel.  And his reaction didn't disappoint.  But now it was her time to reveal what she knew.

"I told you I'd never forget, but I did.  At least for a little while," she divulged, her eyes moistened at the thought of what Angel must have gone through possessing those memories for so long.

"H-how?  The oracles said you'd never remember," asked a thoroughly shocked Angel.  Her revelation had come completely unexpected.

"I know, and they were pretty much right.  About a year and a half ago, this psycho warlock demon came to town.  He thought he'd have a little fun messing with our heads, made us all a little crazy for a while, but I eventually killed him.  Except that the head magic he used on us didn't fully disappear after he was dead.  Willow used some spell to clear out the haziness, when it was finished…there they were.  I guess the spell unlocked the memories somehow," explained Buffy with a shrug at the end.  How the memories came back to her was still pretty much a mystery beyond the spell Willow did.

"I'm so sorry.  I should have told you a long time ago…," apologized Angel, quickly turning his gaze downward.

"Angel, I'm not mad at you," Buffy stated firmly, cupping his chin in her hand and pulling his head back up to meet hers.

"You're not?" queried Angel, stunned to say the least.  He thought for sure he was going to have to face the wrath of an extremely pissed off Slayer, but he should have known by now that his Buffy was full of surprises.

"No, I'm not.  At least not now.  I was furious when I first put all the memories together, but funny enough, it was Xander that made me understand it all," chuckled Buffy, thinking back to the talk she had with her brown haired friend.  She moved around a little on Angel's lap to get more comfortable before finishing her tale of events.

"After the spell finished, there were these flashes, images, in my head.  They made no sense…just these short clips of you and me together that I was sure had never really happened.  But the flashes kept coming.  Everyone else went up to bed and I went out on the back porch to try and sort through what was going on.  After a while, they weren't just flashes, I had a complete memory of _everything_ that had happened.  I was furious with you for again making a decision without me, but I didn't know what to do about it at the time.

Not long after that Xander came and sat down next to me.  I guess he noticed something was wrong after the spell was finished so he came to check on me.  I hardly noticed he was there, I just started sobbing and yelling and poor Xander just sat there and took it all.  When I finally calmed down I told him what I'd remembered.  I got up and told him I was going to go to LA to beat the crap out of you when he asked me a question…" Buffy left the sentence hang while the memory of Xander's words washed over her.

"What did he ask you?" prodded Angel softly.

"He said 'Wouldn't you have done the same for him?'  It stopped me dead in my tracks.  And I knew he was right.  I would have done the same.  But I was still mad, and furthermore confused because of all people, Xander was coming to your defense.  I asked him why and he told me that any guy that would sacrifice his humanity, something that he'd probably wanted for so long, for a girl that he loved, was all right in his book.  And my heart broke even more because I realized Xander was exactly right.  You gave up your redemption, for me, so that I could live.  That's not something I could ever be angry with."  A faint sob escaped her lips when she'd finished speaking.

Angel pulled her body flush against his and stroked her long golden tresses.  He'd never imagined that she would be able to forgive him for the decision he'd made back then.  But she had, for which he was immensely grateful.  And it only further proved to him how much she had matured as a person.

"Why didn't you ever tell me that you knew?" he murmured into her ear.

"I wanted to, but it wouldn't have changed anything.  We still couldn't be together and it would have only hurt us more to have to deal with it back then.  So I kept it to myself, Xander was the only person who knew about it," Buffy whispered in response.

For long minutes they remained as they were.  Angel continued to place gentle caresses on Buffy's hair and back, soothing away the troubles from their past.  They'd cleared the air of everything between them, or at least Angel hoped that was everything.

"I think we've managed to dredge up every little thing important in the last few hours, don't you?  Unless there's anything else you have to tell…" he spoke, somewhat in jest.

"No, I think that's pretty much everything.  We like to go heavy duty on the emotional torture don't we?" she joked back at him.

"Can't disagree with you there.  But like I said before, it's all in the past.  We have a future ahead of us…one we will have together."  He kissed her softly, their first kiss, in what Angel felt was way too long.  A loud rumble coming from the woman in his arms interrupted the sweet moment.

"I guess someone's hungry," laughed Angel.  The unusual sound of his laughter brought a smile to her face.

"Gee, how'd ya figure that one out," she playfully smacked his arm.

"Why don't we go into the kitchen and I'll make you some breakfast," suggested Angel as he stood, still holding Buffy in his arms.

"Works for me," she beamed at him.  Her earlier sentiments echoed in her head.  This was indeed perfect.  A morning with her Angel.  Nothing could be any better.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

They ate the French toast breakfast that Angel made in companionable silence.  Being in the others presence enough to sate their needs.  Angel marveled internally about the fact that the one woman that he'd ever really, truly loved, but always seemed so far out of reach, was sitting only a few feet away from him and wanted the same thing he did.  A future together.  He couldn't keep his eyes off her.  He loved the way the sun reflected off her hair and the rumpled look of her clothes from being in them all night.  But really, there was nothing about her that he didn't love.

She knew he was watching her and part of her reveled in that notion.  After all this time, he still wanted her, was still hopelessly in need of her.  It gave her a warm feeling all over to be that desired.  She wondered if he realized that she felt the same way about him.  Her heartbeat jumped slightly as she gazed over his masculine form.  The dark green, obviously expensive, sweater he wore clung in all the right places.  The muscular arms that always held her with such love were easily noticeable underneath the soft material.  She licked her lips unconsciously as she thought about what was underneath that sweater.

Unrealized by either one, they had both ceased eating their breakfasts and were now staring intently at each other.  And neither noticed the fact that they had risen from their seats to come rest standing face to face, only separated by mere inches.  And neither consciously made the move that found them tangled in each others arms, lips locked in an expression of passion, lust, love and need, held in for years.

Hands groped while tongues intertwined in the warm recesses of their mouths.  The need for each other completely overwhelmed the long separated lovers.  The feel, the touch, the taste, the smell, they couldn't get enough.  

When Angel finally regained some sense of reality he realized that he had Buffy backed against a wall, her legs wrapped around his waist.  He quickly pulled away, carefully placing her feet back on the floor.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't ha-" he started in a hoarse voice.

"Don't be sorry," she whispered, voice equally hazy.

"We shouldn't.  I don't want to rush things," replied Angel, his frustration not hidden in the least.

"Angel, we've waited long enough," answered Buffy, pressing her body up against his, placing a hand on his face in a loving caress.

"Are you sure?" he turned his head to place a kiss on her palm.

"Make love to me, my Angel," she requested, love shining in her eyes.

Her plea was all Angel needed.  He swept Buffy up into his arms, placing a promising kiss onto her warm soft lips.  With a swift turn, he strode out of the kitchen, his blonde goddess giggling at his eagerness.  A few short seconds later, the sound of a door slamming somewhere echoed throughout the mansion.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

TBC…feedback always welcome and appreciated

All right…this is highly annoying, there is an optional reading add-on to this part (which can't be posted here due to ratings rules), but every time I upload this part to ff.net, the URL magically disappears from the document which I'll assume has something to do with ff.net's rules.  SOOO, if you wish to read part 9.5, feel free to email me (vagabond_angel@comcast.net) and request the URL, or go to my profile at ff.net, go to my website, click on 'I Dreamt of Someday', go to the bottom, and there will be a link to part 9.5.  


	10. Part 10 Building Tomorrow

Author's Notes – Whew!  This part just seemed to keep going and going.  But I don't think anyone will mind.  Anyway, there's a lot of stuff going on in this part.  This fic is in the home stretch so this will start setting things up for their future, and plant a few vague hints about a couple things yet to happen.

AN2 – Just wanted to state this for the record.  Cordy will not be evil in this fic.  The way I wrote it you might think that, but she's not.  She's just Cordy, and I'm making her relatively 'nice'! (more like Cordy of ATS seasons 1 & 2…not 'give mamma some sugar Cordy' of s4 or St. Cordelia of s3).  Deal with it.

AN3 – Almost and angst free part!  Is that a good or a bad thing?  Hehe

Thank you too all my feedbackers!  Enjoy!

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Part 10

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

With a start, Buffy woke, the memories of a morning similar to this, years ago, fresh in her mind.  She knew deep inside that there wouldn't be a repeat performance.  She really did know that.  But it did nothing to soothe the panic rising in her gut.  Her eyes clenched shut, afraid to open for fear that the space on the bed beside her would be unoccupied.  

Her inner quandary continued for a few minutes.  She tried to convince herself that she was being ridiculous.  But even though almost 9 years had passed since one of the most horrible times in her life, the memories were still vivid.  She could still remember waking up alone, her worry for her lover afterwards, and then the mind numbing realization that her Angel was gone.  Another 9 years could pass, even 100 years, and she'd never forget that morning.

Taking a deep breath, Buffy finally pried her eyes open.  Ever so slowly her lids lifted.  Her gaze stayed focused downwards though.  The fear was paralyzing.  When she finally lifted her eyes she was met with a sight that brought tears to her eyes.

There laid her Angel, awake.  His deep brown eyes were staring at her lovingly; a warm smile graced his face.  And in his right hand he held a seemingly flawless deep red rose.  Of their own accord, a few stray, salty tears fell silently from her eyes.  This was her dream, to wake up next to her love.  This was how it should have been all those years ago.

Angel had watched as she woke.  He knew she was awake before her eyes opened.  He saw the tenseness of her face.  It wasn't hard for him to figure out what was plaguing her thoughts.  Those memories were still ever-present in his mind as well.  But this time it would be different.  This time his soul wasn't going anywhere.  This time he would be there for her.

"Shhh, baby, don't cry," whispered Angel, reaching a gentle hand up to wipe away her tears.

When Buffy didn't reply, Angel pulled her into his arms.  He stroked her back and spoke loving endearments into her ear, allowing her to release the ghosts of the past that still haunted both of them.  After a few minutes the tension in her body seemed to leave and he pulled back slightly to look at her face.

"You thought I wasn't going to be here?"  Whether his words were a question or a statement, Angel wasn't quite sure.

"No...Yes…I don't know.  It was just the first thing that I thought of when I woke up," she answered quietly.

"You don't have to worry, baby.  I'm not going anywhere ever again," he soothed before moving closer to caress her lips with his.

The kiss was a healing one, meant to wash away the remnants of times long past.  The past was the past and that's where it was meant to stay.  They had the present and the future now.  One that would be spent together.  There would of course still be bad times, but they would handle them together.  Anything could be dealt with as long as they had each other.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

An hour later, the two still lay intertwined on the bed.  For a while they had kissed and caressed, but they were content just to hold each other.  These were the moments they'd never really been able to have before.  Of course they'd been able to hold each other before, but there was always that fear that it would lead to more and that was something that couldn't happen.  But now, there was no fear.  There was just each other.  And they loved every minute of it.

"I hate to say this, but I should really get up.  I haven't been to work in 2 weeks and the gang's probably been freaking out wondering where I am," spoke Buffy suddenly.  Leaving Angel was the last thing she wanted at the moment, but duty called.

"I know, but I don't want to let you go," answered Angel teasingly.

The smile that crossed Buffy's face was almost blinding.  "I don't want to let you go either, but I have to go to work."  She thought for a minute before speaking again.  "Why don't you come with me.  It'd be better than you sitting here all day doing nothing."

"Sure," Angel replied without even thinking.

With reluctant determination, the reunited lovers finally pried themselves away from each other and out of bed.  After a few more stolen kisses and soft touches, Buffy left to return home in order to shower and change while Angel did the same at the mansion.  They agreed to meet an hour later in front of the Magic Box.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

"Do you think they'll be able to tear themselves away from each other anytime in the next week?" questioned Xander as he grabbed a powdered donut out of the box.

"Xander!" chided Willow, shaking her head at his bluntness.

"What?  It's true.  We probably won't see them for days.  They're back together after how many years of being apart?" answered Xander with a raised eyebrow and a look toward his red headed friend.

"I know, you're probably right.  We'd be the same way if we were in her position.  I really hope things work out for them this time," sighed Willow, taking a couple donuts out of the box and handing one to her daughter sitting next to her.

"Why wouldn't it work this time," said Spike with a shrug.  His feelings were still a bit torn on the subject.  "There's nothing in their way this time."

"Are we talking about the same people?  This is Buffy and Angel.  There's always been something there to go wrong with them," exclaimed Xander, half joking, half serious.

"Xander, that-," started Willow but was interrupted by the sound of the bell to the door of the Magic Box ringing.

All three friends, who were seated at the table in the book corner, turned to look toward the door to see who was entering.  They were greeted with the sight of a radiant and happy looking Buffy with Angel trailing closely behind.  The three couldn't help but smile at their friend's appearance.

"Aunt Buffy!" shrieked Sierra, launching herself out of her seat and into Buffy's arms.

"Hey sweetie, I missed you," laughed Buffy with a kiss to the little girl's forehead.

Beside her, Angel smiled at the sight of Buffy holding the little girl.  It looked so right.  Maybe, someday, he thought.

"Well, well look who it is!" teased Xander.

"Gee, look, everyone's here," spoke a suddenly nervous Buffy as her and Angel walked over toward the group of friends.

"We just didn't expect to see you today, that's all," replied Willow in reference to Xander's comment.

"Why wouldn't you ex-," Buffy paused to think for a minute before continuing.  "Wait, you knew I was back?"

"Uhh, yeah?" said Willow sheepishly.  "We kinda saw you yesterday when we stopped by the mansion to check on Angel."

"Oh…ohhhh," blushed Buffy with a glance toward Angel.  He had a similar blush, which was entirely strange to her, she'd never seen him blush before.  Both were wondering what their friends had seen.

"Yeah, we went, we saw, we high tailed it outta there," joked Xander with a goofy grin.

"You mean we went, saw those two makin' googley eyes at each other, heaved, then got the hell out," corrected Spike a smug look on his face.

Buffy glared at Spike before pushing Angel into one of the remaining seats around the table.  Once he was comfortably seated she plopped herself down on his lap, giving him a peck on the cheek.

Xander and Spike both rolled their eyes at the gesture.  Just because they wanted Buffy happy, and apparently that's what Angel made her, didn't mean that they wanted a front row seat to all their PDA's.  Willow, on the other hand, smiled at the show of affection.

"So it's safe to assume you guys are back together?" asked Willow, an amused look plastered across her face.

"A big 'yes' to that," smiled Buffy.

"It's a good look for ya Buff, happy.  I hope it stays that way," Xander spoke honestly.

"I have every intention of keeping that look their Xander," reassured Angel, looking straight into Xander's eyes, who in return gave a slight nod of his head.  Angel knew the boy had reservations because of all his past actions.  And he knew he'd just have to prove that he wasn't about to repeat past mistakes. 

"Ok, lets not get into a big macho contest of protecting the helpless females," sighed Buffy, sharing a smirk with Willow.  Neither had missed the undertones of the previous statements.

"So where'd you run off to Slayer?" posed Spike, shifting slightly to avoid a small patch a sun that was hitting the table. 

Buffy relayed where she went and the events of her trip.  For the next hour the five friends sat around the table and exchanged idle chit chat.  They talked about the old days and told stories of times from when they were apart.  

Laughs were voiced over the silly times, sad sighs emitted over the unhappy ones.  Buffy found herself just listening to the conversations, content to be in the arms of her love and among her friends while Angel actively talked with the others.  He'd felt more alive in the past half day than he had since the simple days when his love for Buffy was so new.  It was definitely a feeling he could get used to.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

The afternoon was spent with Buffy showing Angel more about her job.  She took him on a tour of the expanded Magic Box, Willow's Wiccan Center, and all of the Scoobies resources.  Angel was impressed with the business that she and Willow had developed, it made him happy to see the pride in her eyes about her work.

When it came time for one of her self defense classes Buffy told Angel that he could go back to the mansion, or if he wanted he could stay and watch.  Angel, of course, opted to stay.  Anything to spend more time around his love.

He watched with avid fascination as she instructed her students.  The grace and strength of her body always amazed him.  She was so tiny yet so powerful.  He loved the way the moves seemed to emphasize the natural curves of her body.  It made him want to grab her and drag her back to the mansion for a few hours of 'alone' time.

As the class ended Buffy walked over to the table where her towel and water bottle lay.  The workout was a slight bit more tiring than usual due to the fact that she had been out of town for 2 weeks.  She sipped at the cool water with her back toward where Angel had been seated.  Just as she was about to turn back around two strong arms slipped around her waist, startling her and causing her to drop the water bottle.

"Angel!  Don't do that!" Buffy yelped at the sudden attack.

"Couldn't help it, you looked so lonely over here," he smirked at her.

"Yeah, well, next time I'd think twice or you might find yourself flat on you back," she retorted, trying to hide her smile.

"What if on my back is exactly where I wanted to be," he whispered mischievously to her.

"Hmm, is that what you wanted?" grinned Buffy.  In a flash, she grabbed Angel's arm and flipped him over onto the floor on his back, jumping on him so that she was straddling his chest.  "Is this what you had in mind?"

"Yes…but maybe not with the throwing me down part," laughed Angel.

"Well, it served its purpose didn't it?" she answered before leaning down to capture his lips.

The kiss quickly turned from teasing to passionate.  Their mouths tangled in an age old erotic dance as Angel's left hand found its way into Buffy's hair, the right moving down to her behind, groping the fleshy mound.

Their mating dance continued at a fevered pace until the presence of someone else in the room became known.

"Ugh, is this going to be a regular occurrence?  Where I walk into a room to find you two all over each other?  If so then I plan on investing in a blindfold," interrupted Xander causing the intertwined pair to jump off of each other and blush furiously.

"Uhh, sorry?" pleaded Buffy sheepishly.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever.  I just came to see if you two are interested in some take out.  You must be hungry after all that one on one time," winked Xander with a devious laugh.

"I am kind of hungry.  Are you?" asked Angel to Buffy.

"Yeah, food sounds good.  Just not from that new Chinese place.  I still say the guy who runs it is a demon," requested Buffy as she moved to pick up her things from the table.

"Right, no demon Chinese.  Gotcha," agreed Xander before turning and leaving the room.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

A half hour later, the group of six, Buffy, Angel, Willow, Xander, Spike, and little Sierra, sat around the table in the back of the Magic Box eating the Italian takeout that the gang had picked up.  As they ate Willow and Buffy told Angel more about the store and some of the ideas for future improvement.  Xander also talked about his construction business and some new jobs he had gotten.  The whole dinner was one of blessed normalcy.  For a while they were just a group of friends sitting around enjoying some food and quiet conversation.  It was these moments that they all cherished because they knew that at any time something could happen and all of it could be lost.  But for now they weren't even thinking about evil, it was the farthest thing from their mind.

"Ya know, DeadBoy, err Angel, sorry, it's kinda weird seeing you eating normal food," joked Xander as he stuffed more of his chicken parmesan sandwich into his mouth.

"It's been a little hard to get used to, having food cravings again.  For the first few days after the change, Cordy had me eating countless types of food.  I'm lucky she didn't make me sick," laughed Angel with a smile.

"Speaking of Cordy, I don't mean to be the devil's advocate here, but what do you guys plan to do now.  I mean, Angel's business is in LA and your life is here Buffy," asked Willow in nervous seriousness.  As much as she wanted her friends to be happy she knew that they still had some things to work out and she hoped that in the end their solution wouldn't be for Buffy to move to LA.  Sunnydale wouldn't be the same without her best friend.

Buffy and Angel looked at each other for a moment before Angel spoke.  "We really haven't ta-"

"Don't worry, Angel, there's nothing for you to get all broody about," chimed in a new voice.  Somehow, the group had not heard the bells above the door chime alerting them that someone else had entered the store.  They all turned to look at the new arrival.

"Cordelia?!" yelped Xander.

"That's my name," she replied with a look toward to her ex-boyfriend.

"Cordy, what are you doing here?  And what did you mean there's nothing for me to get 'broody' about?" questioned a confused Angel.  He had just spoken to his friend earlier that day and she hadn't mentioned coming to Sunnydale. Angel hoped that there wasn't something bad about to happen to ruin his current happiness.

"I have a message for you from The PTB, and let me tell you, I don't appreciate being your personal secretary."  Cordelia frowned at that last statement, realizing that that's what she sort of was, but she brushed off the thought and continued.  "You're lucky that I don't get skull splitting headaches from these little visions anymore or I'd have a major bone to pick with The Powers for using me just to deliver a message to you."

"The Powers sent a message for me?" spoke Angel, his confusion growing.  The PTB didn't usually send him messages, just visions of people to help.  He wondered what it was that they wanted to tell him.

"Yes, a message, didn't I already say that," retorted Cordelia in exasperation.  She then turned to the others in the room.  "By the way 'hi', how are all you doing?"

"Cordelia," growled Angel causing her to turn back to him.  "What was the message?"

"Oh, right, sorry.  They said that your mission is no longer in Los Angeles, that they have somewhere else for you to go," Cordelia stated matter-of-factly.

At her words, Angel slumped down in his seat while Buffy gripped his hand.  After all they'd been through to get back together, now it was going to be ruined, again.  He had to obey whatever request The Powers had.  They were the ones who gave him his redemption, he was their warrior.  He couldn't ignore whatever they wanted him to do, as much as he would want to.

"Where?" Angel croaked out dejectedly.  He wanted to cry.  This was not how things were supposed to go.  

"Nowhere," replied Cordelia cryptically.

"What?"  Angel was more than puzzled now.

"You're already there," continued Cordy with a sigh.  

"Cordelia, I don't suppose you'd want to just tell us exactly what the message said?" interjected Buffy, equally confused as Angel at their friends vagueness.

"I could, but its just so much fun watching Mr. Tall Dark and Brooding squirm," teased Cordy with and evil smile.  The others all glared at her.  "Fine, fine.  Sheesh, try to have a little fun and this is what I get.  Ok, so The PTB said that you are to stay in Sunnydale, that this is where your mission now is."

Every person in the room was either shocked or confused by the message.  Angel, besides not quite understanding, had a sudden bloom of hope within him.  If this was really true then he would be able to stay with Buffy.  They would finally be able to build a future together.  He couldn't help but smile at the news, but he wondered why exactly The Powers wanted him to do this.

"Did they say why," asked Angel with the smile still remaining on his face.

"They just said that your place is here now.  That it is important for the Slayer, Buffy, to remain alive.  With Wolfram and Hart out of the picture the demon world isn't being controlled as much and they will be more likely to come to the Hellmouth.  Buffy being here is apparently important to the balance of good versus evil.," explained Cordy.

"Is there a big battle coming?" questioned Angel, nervousness suddenly springing up at the thought that his beloved would be in great danger.

"I don't think so, it just seemed like she was needed here to keep things under control.  And that you are needed to make sure she is protected and stays alive," furthered Cordy.  Of course there was a little more to what she knew, but she knew she wasn't to tell that part, or a few other things that had been relayed to her.

Silence reigned in the room for a few moments as all the people digested the unexpected news.  Although they were all worried about the possibility of impending danger, they were happy that the big problem of what Buffy and Angel would do now was solved.

"So I guess that means you'll be moving to Sunnydale Angel?" stated Willow.

"Yes, *we'll* be moving back, although I can't see anything good about coming back to good old Sunnyhell," chirped Cordelia.  She definitely did not see the good in this situation.

"*We*?" repeated Xander.

"Yes, *we*.  Where Angel goes, I go.  I'm his connection to The PTB.  I don't really have a choice," grumbled Cordy.

"All right you two, the rest of us don't want to listen to you bicker," cut in Buffy hoping to put a stop to Cordy and Xander's potential verbal battle before it started.  She'd had to deal with that enough in high school.

Cordelia glared at Buffy for a minute before she turned to Spike who had been seated quietly at the table throughout the whole conversation.  "By the way, I also have a message for the bleached wonder over there."

"Me?" yelped Spike

"Spike?!?!" added all the others in the room.

"That's what I said, isn't it.  What is it with you people and making me repeat things?  Anyway, they said that you are to stay in Sunnydale as well, that there is a … purpose…here for you also."  Cordelia hoped they didn't notice the little hesitation in her words.  She hadn't really thought ahead about what she was going to say and The Powers had made it clear to her that some things were to be left to be discovered on their own, not told by her.

The focus of the room was now entirely on Spike.  If they hadn't been a little surprised by the seer's earlier revelations they were now flat out shocked that Spike was also part of her message.  

Spike shrunk back in his seat under the penetrating gazes of all of his friends.  To say he was a little confused was an understatement.  He hadn't mentioned to anybody the idea he'd been tossing around in his head about leaving Sunnydale now that Buffy didn't need him anymore.  And now he was being told to stay and that he had a purpose.  Spike didn't know what to find more astonishing, the fact that these powers seemed to know what was going on in his mind or that these same, apparently really important entities, had some type of plan for him.

Unable to stand the stares any longer the bleach blonde finally spoke up.  "What?  It's not like I have any idea what she's talkin' 'bout."

The group all stood fidgeting after Spike spoke.  They didn't know what to make of the new information.  So they all just stayed quiet until Cordelia's eyes landed on Xander who was now holding Sierra.

"Nice appendage Xander.  Why are you holding a kid?" she questioned condescendingly.

"This is my daughter Sierra," explained Xander with a loving smile at his little girl.

"Someone let you reproduce?" Cordelia shrieked with a burst of laughter.

The smile abruptly left Xander's face at his ex-girlfriends words.  He gently put Sierra down before turning and quietly walking out of the room.  All of the others turned and sent angry glares in Cordelia's direction.

"Cordy, that was uncalled for," chastised Angel finding himself feeling sorry for the man he'd once thought was an annoying slug.

"I better go check on him," stated Willow with a sigh as she sent another look at the seer.

"No, Willow, I'll go.  I'm the one who stuck my foot in my mouth," spoke Cordy as she walked toward the door that Xander had gone through.  She didn't need the others to reprimand her, the moment the words left her mouth she realized how insensitive they were.  But it was just hard to equate the Xander she knew in high school with Xander as a father.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Cordelia walked into the back room where she'd seen Xander go and didn't see him anywhere, but she saw the back door open slightly so she walked toward it.  When she got to the door she peaked outside and saw that Xander was sitting on a crate against the opposite wall with his shoulders slouched and head bowed downwards.  His posture made her feel even worse for her cruel words.

Quietly she made her way over to where the brown haired boy was sitting.  She pulled another crate over next to him and sat down without saying anything.  The two sat there in silence for a couple minutes before Cordelia decided to speak.

"I'm sorry about what I said," she said in an honest tone.

Xander just shrugged his shoulders in response.

"Xander…I really am sorry.  I shouldn't have said that.  I just couldn't put together the you I knew in high school with being a father.  And the words came out before I could stop them," she went on sincerely.

"It's okay.  It's not like I didn't think the same thing when I found out I was going to be a father," answered Xander softly.

"That doesn't mean it was okay for me to say that.  I'm sure you're a great father.  We all change, Xander.  Just as I'm not who I was in high school, I'm sure you aren't either," she spoke hoping that it at least eased the pain of her words a little.

"Thanks, Cordy," replied Xander with a small, but genuine, smile.

"Who would have thought you'd be the first one of the gang to have kids, huh?" joked Cordy with a light shove on his shoulder.  She tried to ignore the fact that it seemed really easy to talk to Xander.

"Hehe, yeah, you're right on that one.  But only half, I'm not quite the first one," laughed Xander, but then feeling a little irrational nervousness by the meaning behind his last statement.

"How can you only sort of be the first…" she trailed off as she tried to wrap her mind around the implications of what Xander was saying.

"Sierra is my daughter…mine and Willow's," explained Xander cautiously.  The issue of him and Willow hit a little closer to home for Cordy, even if that was years ago.

"Yours and Will-…but…I mean…huh?" stuttered Cordy, thoroughly shocked.

"Cordelia Chase, speechless.  That's something I never thought I'd see," teased Xander.

"I, uh, just didn't know you two were together.  Last I heard Willow was a lesbian with a lover."  Even though she'd heard the words outloud, she found it hard to accept the fact that Willow…and Xander…had a child…together.  That was definitely something that would take some getting used to.

"We're not together.  It was just…something that happened," began Xander.  He then went on to explain the events that had led up to his one night with Willow, then finding out she was pregnant, and how they had decided to handle everything.  Xander was more than a little surprised at how supportive Cordy was being.

The two old 'friends' spent another half hour talking about things in their lives since they'd last seen each other.  Cordy told about her foray into acting and her adventures demon fighting with Angel while Xander mostly talked about his daughter, and also his work and the gang.  Internally both realized that this was the best conversation they'd ever had, not even when they had been going out had they been able to talk this easily.  It was a little disturbing to both of them.

"We should go back in," exhaled Cordelia as she stood up to stretch her legs.

"Yeah, we don't want to leave the two lovebirds alone for too long.  We don't want to walk in on things we really don't want to see," exclaimed Xander with a laugh.

"Ugh, don't even think that.  The last thing I want to see is those two going at it like a pair of rabbits," Cordy groaned in exasperation.

"You and me both, but I don't think we're going to have a choice," conceded Xander placing a friendly pat on Cordy's shoulder.  They burst out laughing as they walked back into the store thinking about the unfortunate situations they were likely to find themselves in now that Buffy and Angel were back together.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Back in the Magic Box, Willow and Buffy were taking care of some business odds and ends while Angel sat reading one of the many books available.  Spike had left a little while before to take a patrol through the cemeteries.  Each one would occasional take a glance toward the back looking for their two friends wondering why they had been gone so long.  They hoped they weren't resuming the bitterness that seemed to exist years ago.

When the sounds of laughter wafted in from the back room the three looked at each other in bewilderment.  Cordy and Xander were laughing…together…it was a foreign concept.  They watched as they walked back into the room looking unscathed with smiles on their faces murmuring about something they couldn't hear.  The chumminess between them was definitely a surprise to Buffy, Angel and Willow.

"Wanna tell us what's so funny," asked Buffy from behind the counter where she was standing.

"No," Xander and Cordy answered in unison.

"Who are you and what did you do with the real Cordy and Xander?" glared Buffy.

"What?  Can't we have a conversation and laugh," questioned Cordelia with a slight frown, she too realized her interaction with Xander wasn't quite normal, but she decided not to think about it.

"Not usually," added in Willow, agreeing with Buffy's assessment of the situation.

"Whatever," retorted Cordelia with a wave of her hand.

"So did we miss anything in here?" interrupted Xander wanting to end the current line of questioning.

"Not really," replied Buffy while handing Willow the days receipts.

"So," started Cordy as she took a seat next to Angel.  "I know we're going to be relocating to the good old Hellmouth, but, uh, Angel, have you thought about anything else.  Like say where are we going to live?  And what about the business?"

"Well, I guess we'll just move the business here, we can find an office to rent somewhere.  And I'm going to be living at the mansion I guess, it's got plenty of room so you can live there as well," posed Angel, running ideas through his head.

"The mansion?  Isn't it kind of…dank…there?  And what about Buffy?"  Cordelia wasn't sure whether she liked living with just Buffy and Angel, assuming Buffy would live there.

"What about Buffy?" asked Angel.

"Well, I kind of assumed you two would be living together," stated Cordy with a 'duh' look on her face.

"Umm…well…we kinda of…uh…haven't talked about it," stuttered Angel.  He hadn't yet gotten a chance to ask Buffy to move in with him.  It was what he wanted, but he didn't exactly want it to come up right his moment.

"But you want her to," Cordy continued in her typical bluntness.

"Yeah, I guess."  Angel didn't dare look at Buffy for fear of seeing her reaction to the idea of moving into the mansion, with him.

"Ok…and Buffy, you want to move in with Angel, right?" pushed Cordy.

"Uh, yeah," said Buffy meekly.  Having this discussion in a public forum was not her idea of fun.

"Well, that settles that then.  Buffy will be moving into the mansion with Angel.  Geez, if I left this all up to you guys you'd never get anything settled."  Cordelia smirked at her handiwork as well as the looks on the faces of her friends.  Embarrassment made people's faces turn such amusing colors.

"Wait, the mansion?  But what about Buffy's house.  What would Xander and I do?" asked a concerned Willow.

"I guess you guys could stay at the house," relayed Buffy.  It was the only thing she could think of although she hated the idea of not living with her friends, and she'd miss having Sierra around all the time.

"Or you guys could move into the mansion too.  There's plenty of room," interjected Angel.  He had not missed the sad look on his beloved's face at the idea of being separated from her friends.

"Really?  Are you sure you wouldn't mind?" asked Willow.  Just like Buffy, she didn't want to have to live away from her friends.

"Why not?  Like I said there is more than enough room.  You'd have a lot more space than you have now.  Plus there's a big yard in the back for Sierra to play in," stated Angel hoping they would agree to it.  He'd do anything to make Buffy happy.  Not that he would mind having them there.  With his years in LA, Angel had gotten used to having a lot of people around.

"Sounds like it might work.  What do you think Xander?" Willow asked of her brown haired friend.

"Whatever, I'm flexible.  As long as I get to be near my daughter and my friends," shrugged Xander.  It really didn't matter where he lived to him.  

"Ok, good, so that means you guys will be moving in too, that means I won't have to be subjected alone to the PDA-fest that I'm sure these two will be putting on," joked Cordy with a look toward Buffy and Angel who were now seated almost on top of each other.

"Cordy," warned Angel.  "Anyways, you guys can come over tomorrow and take a look at the place to make up your minds.  We'd probably have to have some renovation done, have a heating system put in, as well as some electrical work.  The place is pretty old."

"I can get my crew to do any construction work, and we know a lot of contractors who can handle anything else that might need to be done," offered Xander, the idea of moving to the mansion growing on him.  The attic at Buffy's was fairly nice with the remodeling he'd done, but it was still kinda small.  He'd enjoy having some more room.

"Great, thanks Xander," smiled Angel as he started to put a mental list together of things that would need to be done.

"Angel," spoke Willow and waited for him to turn toward her.  "You said something about finding office space.  Well, we've got some unused rooms here where you guys could set up the business.  Plus there's a training room already, and more than enough books for research," waved Willow toward the large area considered to be their library.

Angel thought about the offer for a moment before speaking.  "If you guys are sure you can give up the space I think that would be a great idea.  We'd all be close together if there was ever an emergency, and combining our resources would probably be helpful."

"Oh yeah, we have more than enough free space, you saw it when Buffy showed you around the shop today.  There's 3 empty rooms upstairs, plus there is some space open on the other side of the Wiccan Center.  Don't ask why we have all that space, it just seemed like a good idea when the area went up for sale," explained Willow about how they had bought the two stores next to the Magic Box a few years back.

"Sounds like a plan to me," stated Cordy with a small yawn.

Noticing Cordy's yawn Willow glanced down at her watch to check the time.  "Xander, it's getting rather late, can you take Sierra home she needs to get to bed."

"I would, but remember we came in your car today," answered Xander.

"I can drop you guys off and then head over to the mansion," offered Cordy in a somewhat uncommon gesture of niceness.

"Sure, that works.  Thanks Cordy," smiled Xander in return.

Willow went and packed up the small bag of her daughters things while the others said goodnight.  After giving her daughter a kiss she went upstairs to her office to file the days paperwork and make some notes about things she needed to do the next day.  Once the others had gone and Willow went upstairs, Buffy and Angel were the only two left in the room.

"Are you going to come back to the mansion tonight or go to your house?" asked Angel as he wrapped his arms around Buffy's waist.

"Actually, first I'm going to see if I can catch up with Spike on patrol," replied Buffy with a smile at the feel of Angel's arms around her.

"You want me to come with you?" questioned Angel softly.

"No, you go back to the mansion and get Cordy settled in.  I think I need to talk to Spike alone.  I'm a little worried about him.  He got that message from The Powers, plus I think us getting back together might be a little hard on him.  I mean we weren't in a relationship, but we've been a constant in each other's lives the last few years…" Buffy trailed off not quite knowing how to explain the situation without hurting Angel.

"It's ok, love.  I understand," reassured Angel.  He knew he didn't have a reason to feel threatened by her relationship with Spike.  "If I were in his shoes this all would probably be hard for me too.  You should talk to him.  And tell him that he is welcome to move into the mansion as well."

"Have I told you that I loved you lately," spoke Buffy placing a kiss on Angel's lips.  She was happy that he understood that she needed to talk to Spike.

"Not lately," answered Angel.

"Well, then, I love you," stated Buffy reaching her arms around Angel's neck.

"And I love you," responded Angel before seizing Buffy's lips in a loving kiss.  Their mouths dueled for a few minutes before Buffy pulled away.

"Okay, I better go.  I'll see if I can find Spike, then go grab some things from my house, and I'll meet you back at the mansion," she said as she grabbed her purse and stake from the table.

"I'll be waiting."  He gave her a quick kiss and then followed her out of the Magic Box.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

TBC…feedback much appreciated!


	11. Part 11 Planning

Author's Notes – Wow, I don't really have any notes for this part, that's a new thing for me!  Umm…pretty much a semi-fluffy part focused on B/A and the gang working out their plans for the near future, plus a cryptic plan put into motion.  But you'll have to wait until next part to find out what it is!

AN2 – Oh, thought of something…there is a lot of talk about the mansion…please keep an open mind during those parts.  We never really saw much of the interior, so I had to make up things size and layout wise.  Just kinda go with it even if you think it doesn't really fit your idea of the mansion.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Part 11

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Buffy was entering here third cemetery of the night in search of Spike.  He'd not been in the first two she checked, but a few vamps had.  But since they were newly risen fledglings they went down without much of a fight.  Not that she minded the lack of a worthy opponent.  The quicker she finished up the things she needed to do tonight, the quicker she could return to her Angel.

As she walked down the path further into the cemetery a slight tingle in her gut told her that there was a vamp nearby.  Pulling out her stake she crept further into the shadows and cautiously scanned the area around her.  Not finding anything, Buffy quietly continued walking.

After peering around a large mausoleum she found the source of the tingle inside her.  There on top of a gravestone sat the exact peroxide blonde that she was looking for, puffing away on one of his cancer sticks.  Sighing, Buffy put her stake away and walked toward her friend.

She came to a stop only a foot away from Spike and the vampire had yet to notice her presence.  He seemed to be enamored with some spot on the ground.  Buffy held in a small giggle at his obvious lack of a clue that she was right next to him.  Reaching out, she tapped him gently on the shoulder.  The slight touch startled the blonde vampire so much so that he attempted leapt off the gravestone but got tripped up and ended up falling over backwards.

Seeing the self-proclaimed 'Big Bad' take a nose dive off a headstone sent Buffy into a fit of laughter.  After regaining some composure, Spike turned a spiteful glare in the Slayer's direction.

"S-sorry…Spike…didn't….mean…to…scare…you…" Buffy choked out in between bursts of giggles.

"Didn't scare me…just, uh, I, uh, meant to do that…Yeah," gritted out Spike in return.

"Uh, huh," she replied, finally calming down.  "So is that a new method of slaying?  Let people sneak up on you, fall over, and then stake them while they're laughing at you?"

"Sod off, Slayer," bit out Spike, a little angered over her making fun of his misfortune.  "What are you doing here anyway, though you'd be off honeymooning with the great poof that is my sire."

"I'm gonna head back to the mansion in a little while, but I wanted to catch up with you, see how you are," expressed Buffy her tone suddenly serious as she was truly concerned for her vamp friend.

"I'm fine.  Why wouldn't I be?" shrugged Spike nonchalantly.  In response, Buffy only turned and gave him a 'don't give me that' look.

"All right, all right, fine.  I'm 'wigged out', to use your bloody Slayerette slang," conceded Spike.  "I don't fancy becoming a whipping boy for whoever the Powers are."

"Spike…I'm sure whatever it is that they have in mind for you, you'll do just fine.  I have faith in you.  I know you can do it.  But that wasn't really what I was talking about," she hinted, her voice getting softer at the end.

"What else is there?" he questioned, trying to think of what she was referring to.

"Angel.  Him coming back.  Me and him getting back together," stated Buffy, throwing a compassionate look in his direction.  This was definitely a conversation she didn't know how to have.  How do you comfort a person you'd been 'with', more or less, for a few years because you true love finally returned.

"Slayer," he started, but stopped when he saw the look on her face.  The look that said he wasn't going to be able to get out of this conversation.  "I'll be fine.  I always knew one day he'd be back for you."

"That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, does it?" she said softly.

"What you do you want me to say?  Yeah, it hurts, but like I said, I'll be fine.  You deserve to be as happy as possible, and he's the one who can give that to you.  It doesn't matter what happens to me," he replied honestly.

"Spike," started Buffy, her heart breaking.  They weren't in love with each other, but she knew that he depended on her.  She had been a constant in his life for a few years now, it wouldn't be easy for him to all the sudden feel like he was alone.  But he wouldn't really be alone.  "Just because I'm going to be with Angel now doesn't mean that you're going to get thrown to the curb.  You've become one of my best friends.  Nothing is going to change that."

At her words, Spike felt unwanted tears well in his eyes.  One of his fears was that with Angel back in the picture he'd become an afterthought, that he'd be forgotten.  But hearing the little blonde next to him reassure him of his place in her life meant more to him that she would ever realize.

He didn't respond to her statement, but she hadn't really expected him too.  Even having a soul for a few years, he still wasn't all that forthcoming with expressing his emotions.  So instead she just leaned her head over onto his shoulder as they sat on the headstone and steered the conversation into a slightly different direction, but one that she hoped would further help him to understand that he was wanted in her, and the others, lives.

"So we were talking tonight at the Magic Box.  Angel's going to use some of the extra space at the store to open up the agency.  And we kinda decided that we're all going to move into the mansion since it's a lot bigger and we could all be together.  He said to tell you that he hopes you'll be moving in with the others," she explained while twirling a piece of hair in her right hand.

Scrunching his brow slightly, he looked down at her trying to read her eyes to see if she was telling the truth or not.  Hearing that the great wanker would say that was a bit surprising.  "He really said that?"

"Yeah, he did.  And I hope you'll do it.  I've kinda gotten used to having you around," she joked with a slight push from her shoulder into his.  "But you don't have to decide right now.  I know it's a big decision for you.  Just think about it, for me."

Spike nodded in response.  His first reaction was to say 'hell no' to such a request, but as the idea rolled around in his head it was growing on him.  He'd miss being around everyone if they all moved, and he didn't exactly have anywhere else to go.

"Well, I better head back to the house to pick up some clothes and then head over to the mansion.  I don't want Angel to worry.  Come down to the shop after sunset tomorrow, we'll all head over to the mansion.  The guys want to check it out and Angel needs to see what renovations need to be made."  As she finished explaining the plan she hopped off the headstone, gave Spike a peck on the cheek, and practically skipped off down the path.

Spike shook his head and inwardly chuckled as he watched her scamper off.  The difference in her state of mind was like night and day since she'd gotten back together with his annoying sire.  And that was exactly what he wanted for her.  The happiness radiating off her was all that he ever wanted to see.  He'd once hopped that it would have been him to give that to her, but there was never even a remote chance.  There was too much in the way, but he'd gotten past that.  He was glad she was there for him as a friend.  Maybe in another lifetime it might have different.  But then again, probably not.  A soulmate is a soulmate, it transcends time.  Angel would always be the one for the feisty blonde headed Slayer.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

"Waiting up for someone special?" Buffy asked seductively, stirring Angel out of whatever had him deep in thought.  She'd finally been able to get back to the mansion at just after one a.m.  Her return to her Angel had been delayed even further after her talk with Spike by a few vamps on the way to her house, and then two hours talking to Xander and trying to help him get Sierra back to sleep after a nightmare.  

"Hey," answered Angel, bestowing and earth shaking smile at her.  "I wasn't sure you'd be coming."

"Sorry for the lateness.  I think everyone had other plans for me tonight." At Angel's somewhat confused, somewhat curious look she explained further.  "First vamps, then trying to find Spike, then talking to Spike, then more vamps, then Xander, and finally trying to help Xander get Sierra back to sleep."

"Busy night," chuckled Angel.

"Mmm, yeah," whispered Buffy as she began to crawl her way up the bed toward the incredibly handsome love of her life.

"You must be tired after all that," spoke Angel, a slight challenge conveyed in his tone.

"You'd think so wouldn't you?" posed Buffy, leaning her face down so that it was a mere inch from Angel's.

"I wouldn't want to tire you out or any-" Angel's words were cut off by the abrupt, fierce kiss Buffy engaged him in.

For the next hour or so, Buffy proceeded to show Angel just how *not* tired she was.  Slayer stamina was definitely something that came in handy at times like these.  And once they'd finally sated their physical desires, the lovers lay tangled together on the bed, panting slightly from the exertion.

"I guess I wasn't tired huh?" Buffy said, her right hand drawing circles on Angel's abdomen.

"Hmm, I don't know…" trailed off Angel before letting out a laugh.

"Oh you!" she yelped and then grabbed a pillow to throw at him.  

As she went to grab another one, Angel grasped at the other end causing them to have a playful round of tug of war over the object.  When Buffy suddenly let go of her end, Angel feel backwards causing the pair to burst out laughing at their silliness.

Once their giggles had ended, Buffy curled herself around Angel, making sure she told him once again how much she loved him.  Angel returned the sentiment, soothingly stroking her back as she fell into a peaceful sleep.  For a little while after she drifted off, he was content just to watch the slight rise and fall of her chest, and to feel the warmth of her body next to his.  Slowly, he too melted away into his own sleep knowing that he'd be filled with dreams of his beloved.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

the following evening

"Ya know, I've been here a few times, but I don't think I've ever seen anything but a few rooms on the main floor," stated Xander as the Scooby Gang, plus Angel and Cordelia walked into the mansion.

"Me either," agreed Willow as she looked around the large establishment.

"I lived here for a while, but I mostly just spend time down here," relayed Angel as he led the group further into the mansion.

"How big is this place?" questioned Cordelia, feeling slightly giddy about the chance to live in such a large, extravagant house once again, even if it was a bit of a creepy place.

"It's got four floors, plus a basement," began Angel as the group took seats on the couches in the main room.  "The main floor has the living room, kitchen, pantry, study, two bedrooms, a bathroom, and some closet space.  The second floor has six bedrooms, and four bathrooms, the third and fourth floors have four bedrooms and four bathrooms each."

"Angel and I were talking it over, and we figured that we would stay in one of the suites on the third floor, it's got its own bathroom, two walk-in closets, a balcony, plus the room is huge.  There's also a small study attached to it.  There's a suite just like it at the other end of the hall that is exactly like it, we thought Cordy might want that," explained Buffy looking toward Cordy to see if that worked for her.

"Wow, that's a lot of space…did you say two walk-in closests?" the brunette asked in awe. 

"She did," answered Angel, somewhat amused by the look on his friends face.

"I think that will probably work," said Cordy as if she was making some sort of concession by taking the offer.  The others just rolled their eyes at her tone.

"Good.  On the second floor, there are 2 smaller suites that are connected by a smaller room that we thought might work for Willow, Xander and Sierra.  Will, and Xand could each have a suite…their similar to ours, just smaller, one closest, and no study…and Sierra could go in the room in between the suite.  There are doors connecting the three rooms, so it would be perfect.  And each of the suites has its own bathroom," told Buffy to her friends.

"The room for Sierra is actually a fairly large study, but it would work for a bedroom too," Angel explained further.

"Sounds like a good plan," replied Willow, sharing a look with Xander to see if it was okay with him.  The dark haired boy shrugged indifferently causing Willow to shake her head slightly in exasperation.

"We can go up and take a look at all the rooms too so you guys can have a better idea of what they are like," offered Angel with a nod toward the staircase leading up to the other floors.

"Where's Spike going to stay?" asked Cordelia looking toward the blonde vampire who suddenly looked a little uncomfortable.

"*If* Spike decides to live here," stated Buffy with a pointed look at Spike, hoping he would take her hint that she wanted him to stay.  "We thought that one of the rooms down here on the main floor would work best.  The ones upstairs have huge windows, but the two down here have smaller and fewer ones which would be best for his, uh, sun allergy."

In return Spike just shrugged his shoulders and looked away.  The vampire was still unsure of what to do about the situation.  And honestly, he found it hard to believe that his sire even wanted him to stay there.  His indifference and nervousness was easily caught by Angel.

"Angel?" said Willow, and then waited until she had his attention.  "What about the rest of the LA team?  Are they coming to?"

"I don't know.  I haven't talked to them about it.  I am going to head up to LA tomorrow for a little while to shut down the agency, get everything packed and sent down here, and talk to Wes, Gunn, Fred, and Lorne.  But we still have…" Angel thought for a minute, going over arrangements in his head.  "Nine bedrooms open, I think."

"Okay," said Cordy, thinking in her head about who she suspected would and wouldn't be moving to Sunnydale.  "Why don't we move this party upstairs to check out the rooms?"

"Buffy?  Why don't you take the others on a tour of the other floors, and I'll show Spike the room we thought of for him?" asked Angel with an underlying motive of getting to talk to Spike without the others present.

"Sure, come on gang, time to check out your future rooms.  Trust me, you're going to love them!" exclaimed Buffy, excited over the prospect of having everyone together, and her love by her side.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

"So, do you want to go see the room?" posed Angel after the two had sat in silence for a minute after the others had gone upstairs.  When Spike only turned and gave him an odd look, Angel spoke again, "What?"

"You actually want me to live here?" Spike questioned in a shocked and surprised tone.

"Why wouldn't I?" responded Angel, a bit confused at the blonde's reaction.

Spike started to answer Angel, but quickly closed his mouth.  Honestly, he really didn't know what to say.  The whole situation was rather odd.  The history between him and his sire alone was enough to make it awkward, but then thrown in the semi-relationship that he had had with Angel's one love and it made it even more crazy.

As if sensing his childe's thoughts, Angel tried to diffuse Spike's worries. 

"Spike, you are welcome to stay here.  I'd be happy if you did.  I know there is a lot of bad history between us, and then there is your…relationship…with Buffy, but our history is in the past.  We're both better people than we were then.  And as for Buffy, truthfully, I'm glad that you were there for her.  I'll admit that at first I wasn't too happy.  But I'm glad she had you there to watch her back and just that she had someone there for her when I couldn't.  And it sounds like you needed her just as much.  You're important to her, you're important to each other.  I'm not going to stand in the way of you two staying friends.  You're a part of the group, and I want it to stay that way," finished Angel, making sure to look directly at the blonde vampire so that he would see that he was serious.

"Right, then," said Spike after letting Angel's words sink in for a minute.  His little speech had caught him a bit by surprise, but the sincere tone led Spike to believe that his words were honest.  Even though he would never admit it outloud, he was happy to feel wanted.

The vampire, and now part-demon, sat in silence after their little talk.  Both were rather uncomfortable with the type of conversation they were having.  It didn't fit their manly natures.  So instead they just sat there avoiding talking about anything else until finally Angel spoke again.

"So, uh, want to see that room?" he asked again.

"Sure, why not," answered Spike as the two got up and made their way to the part of the main floor where the bedroom was.

For the next twenty minutes, Angel showed Spike the two different bedrooms that were situated on the main floor of the mansion, being sure to point out the difference between the two rooms.  After looking at both of them, Spike opted for the slightly larger room because it had a door with access to the outside.  Having an outer door made the room seem a little more personal in a way, he'd be able to come and go without using the main entrance.

Angel was sure to tell Spike that he could decorate it any way he wanted and could bring in new furniture if he didn't like what was already there.  Spike, for his part, just shrugged.  All that fancy-smancy decorating stuff wasn't his deal.  He figured he would just get one of the many females he was surrounded by to help him out.

With an amused curiosity, Spike watched as Angel quickly poked his head out the door, looked around and listened for a minute before popping back into the room and closing the door.

"What was all that about," the blonde asked, cocking his head toward the now closed door.

"I wanted to make sure no one else was downstairs.  I wanted to ask for your help on something," explained Angel, a hint of nervousness found in his voice.

"Uhh, okaaayyy," drawled out Spike.

"There's a, uhh, little surprise I'm working on for Buffy…" began Angel and then filled Spike in on the idea he had come up with the night before while waiting for Buffy.

They continued talking about Angel's plan for a while.  Angel explained his idea and asked for Spike's opinion on it.  Surprisingly, the blonde thought he should go ahead with it.  Their chat was abruptly brought to a halt when the sounds of the others returning from the upper floors reached their ears.

"I'm going to see if I can get Buffy to go on a patrol with me, and I want you to talk to the others.  Cordy, and maybe Xander, should be able to fill in some of the details about why I chose the place," whispered Angel just before they entered the main room once again.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

"So what did you guys all think?" wondered Angel once they were all back seated on the couches in the main room.

"I don't know about everyone else, but I'm all for that extra big suite with *two* walk-in closets," stated Cordy in her typical manner.

"Somehow I expected you would like it," smirked Angel, knowing full well what tended to sway his friend.  "What about you guys, Will, Xander?"

"Count us in.  Those rooms are so nice.  I love the balcony," said Willow dreamily, thinking about the quiet time she'd be able to spend on the nice sized balcony.

"And I took a look around the rooms and stuff.  I don't really think you'll have to remodel anything.  The building is structurally sound, everything seems to be in working order.  Really you just need to deal with heating and air conditioning, probably a new hot water system, and some banisters on the stairs.  That's all that came to mind," stated Xander, trying to remember if that was all he thought of while on the tour of the building.

"Good, I wasn't really looking forward to doing any serious remodeling.  Do you know people who can handle the rest?" asked Angel, mentally relieved at not having to spend money on serious renovations.

"Yeah, I'll talk to some contractors tomorrow about it.  The heating and A/C might be tricky because of the way the place is built, but we'll figure something out, the rest is fairly easy," explained Xander.  He was glad that there was some way he could be an active participant in the move.

"Okay.  Have them do whatever they think would work best, and don't worry about money," answered Angel.

"There is one problem," emphasized Cordelia.  "Angel, you are aware that this place is a mess?  The dust in those rooms could form a dust bunny army."

"Cordy!  What did you expect.  No one has really *lived* here for a long time," retorted Buffy.  Sometimes she wondered just how many functioning brain cells the seer had.

"I know it's dirty Cordy, but I figured we could hire a cleaning crew to come in and get things straightened up while I'm gone," offered Angel, knowing full well that none of them would be willing to do all the cleaning themselves.

"Works for me," smiled Cordelia, glad that at least she wouldn't have to get all grimy while cleaning.

"What are you going to do about furniture Angel?  There's not really much here," asked Willow while looking around the room.

"We're going to get all new stuff.  And I mean *all* new…appliances, couches, tables and all that.  Anything you guys want for you rooms, within reason, is on me as well," explained Angel and then clarified once he saw all the looks he was getting.  "Don't worry about the money.  I've got some stored away from the, uh, old days.  I don't usually like to use it, but for this I'll will and I can put it back once the hotel is sold."

"Wow, Angel, buddy, I think you might just be my new best friend," teased Xander with a pat on Angel's back.

"I'll set up an account, before I leave tomorrow, with a few stores outside of town where you can get stuff," stated Angel, earning a bright smile from Cordy who was thinking about all the shopping she was going to get to do.

"We're to have a lot of work to do, girls.  When you get back, Angel, you won't even recognize the place," grinned Cordy while making a mental list of all the things that needed to be bought.  Hearing those words, Angel suddenly became *very* nervous.

"Don't worry, honey, Willow and I will keep Queen C under control," reassured Buffy with a kiss to her love's cheek and ignoring the glare from Cordelia.  "Did you manage to convince Spike to join our little moving party?"

"I think so.  Spike?" asked Angel to the vampire.

"He did," answered Spike, still a little uncomfortable, but realizing that he was wanted among the friends even more so when he received a happy smile from Buffy and the others at his words.

"Great!" cheered Buffy joyfully.  She was glad he'd decided to join them.  It wouldn't be the same without one of her closest friends around.

"Why don't we go do a quick patrol?" said Angel to Buffy as he looked at his watch to see what time it was.

"Yeah, probably a good idea.  Wouldn't want the vamps to think I retired," answered Buffy as she got up and put her coat on.

"We'll see you guys later, you can stay here for a little while and work out some more details if you want," stated Angel, exchanging a quick look with Spike to make sure the blonde vampire knew what he was supposed to do.  Spike gave a slight nod to show he understood.

As soon as Angel and Buffy had left the mansion, Cordelia, who due to her see-all nature had caught the gestures, turned to Spike to question him on it.  "What was all that about?"

"The poof has a little surprise he's planning for Buffy.  He wanted me to let you guys in on it and get your help," responded Spike and then began to fill the others in on what exactly Angel's idea was.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

"Are you sure you have to go to L.A?" whined Buffy as her and Angel walked around the cemetery.

"Yes, I have to get things settled there so that I can move back here," answered Angel, pushing a piece of hair out of her face.

"But I don't want you to go," pouted Buffy sadly.

"I don't want to go either baby, but the sooner I do, the sooner I can come back and then we can start out future," soothed Angel as he pulled Buffy into a hug.

"I know, I just wish you didn't have to go," sighed Buffy, relaxing in the feel of his arms around her.

"I promise to call you every night," offered Angel, looking in to the hazel eyes that he loved.

"Promise?" pleaded Buffy.

"I promise," assured Angel before leaning his head down to place a loving kiss on her warm, soft lips.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

five days later

"Spike?  We're back," yelled Willow as they walked back into the Magic Box.  The girls, Buffy, Willow, and Cordelia, had decided to take the day to do some more shopping for the mansion, bravely leaving Spike in charge of the shop.

"I hope you left some things in the stores for all the other crazy shoppers," answered Spike from his place behind the counter where he sat in a chair with his feet propped up on the display case.

"Yes, we did, but not much," smirked Cordelia, thinking about the coronary Angel was likely to have when he got the bills for the all of the things they had bought.

"I think we're pretty much done now, though.  The furniture for the bedrooms, living room, kitchen, and study, plus the appliances have been delivered and set-up over the last two days so today we were just picking up odds and ends.  Plus we had to get bed linens, and more stuff for the kitchen and living room.  The rest we'll just pick up as we think of it," explained Buffy as she flopped down in her seat to rest her weary feet.

"Any trouble while we were gone," asked Willow as she looked through the sales receipts from while they were out.

"Nope, just the usual…people buying magic junk," replied Spike with a shrug.

"Did you talk to Angel last night, Buffy?" questioned Cordelia while grabbing a soda out of the mini-fridge in the back of the store.

"Yeah, he said things are wrapping up there.  He has all of his stuff packed and rented a moving van to bring some of his furniture down.  He even said he already found someone to buy the hotel, an old client or something," answered Buffy as she settled into her chair.

"What about Wes, Gunn, Fred, and that Lorne guy.  Did he talk to them about coming down here?" asked Willow, taking a seat next to her friend while Cordy plopped herself down on the other side of Buffy.

"Yeah," sighed Buffy thinking about the talk her and Angel had had the night before. He had been a little upset about some of his friends decisions, but he understood their reasons.  "Gunn and Fred are going to stay in LA.  They said they are thinking about starting a family, and they like the city.  Plus they said they can keep their eyes open up there and let us know if anything evil is going on.  Lorne's not really sure.  He just re-opened Caritas, but he's going to come down and check out Sunnydale at some point.  Wes, though, was all for coming back.  I think he's become a danger junkie," laughed Buffy.

"Was Angel upset about Gunn and Fred staying there?" wondered Willow.

"A little.  I know he wishes they'd come, and he'll miss them, but he understands.  They've been part of the 'good fight' for a while, he thinks they're ready to give the 'normal life' thing a try," answered Buffy hoping that things would work out for the people her love cared so much about.

"They'll come to visit though, right?" said Willow remembering the time she'd met the shy girl Fred.

"I bet they'll be here practically every weekend visiting," laughed Cordy, knowing her friends all too well.  They'd only be able to stay away for so long.

"Oh, Red, almost forgot.  Xander called, wanted to know if you were free tonight so he could take you and the little one out to dinner and a movie," Spike pretended to remember the call, but was really just starting to put the plan into action.

"Well, yeah, I guess, but what about the store," Willow answered, hoping Buffy would take the bait.

"I got it Will.  Besides we're only open until six, and it's been slow, everyone's away for Thanksgiving vacation…ya know, that holiday we kinda skipped out on this year," Buffy stated with a laugh thinking about how they'd just ordered pizza and watched movies as their Thanksgiving celebration.

"Hey, none of us wanted to cook some god-awful huge meal AND clean up afterwards," Cordelia said in exasperation.

"Oh yeah, Slayer, got a message for you too," interrupted Spike, putting the next step of the plan into motion.

"Me?" squeaked Buffy, wondering who had called for her.

"Yeah, your poof called.  He said he wants me to drive you up to LA tonight.  Wants you to help him sort through the last of his stuff, said I should drive you up so that you can stay for the night and come back with him tomorrow," explained Spike with an internal smirk at how good his lies were coming out.

"Umm, ok.  How come he didn't mention this last night?" asked Buffy, confused by the request.

"He said he just thought of it today, couldn't decide on some stuff or something," answered Spike, hoping she bought the story.

"Ok, whatever.  At least I'll get to see Angel a day early," smiled Buffy at the thought of a night with her Angel.

"Oh please, spare us," grumbled Cordy.

"Cordy!  She's just happy to get some quality time with Angel," chided Willow with a shake of her head.

"Whatever.  Anyways, I'm going to head back to the mansion.  Do you want me to drop you off at wherever Xander is so you can do your dinner and a movie thing?" Cordy said to Willow while getting up and gathering her things.

"Yeah, thanks Cordy.  I didn't really feel like walking over there," answered Willow, getting up out of her seat.  The three in on the plan, Willow, Cordy, and Spike, shared secret looks before Cordy and Willow made their way to the door.

"Bye Buffy, have a good time with Angel tonight!" Willow spoke, trying to hold back a smile at the thought of what was really going to happen tonight.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

TBC…Comments?  Questions?  Suggestions?  Send 'em my way!


	12. Part 12 My Life, My Light, My Heart

Author's Notes –  The longest part yet of this fic!  This monster is getting really close to being done!  Anyways, just a note for this part…I made up Angel's last name, I don't think we ever found out what it really is, so just go with it.  

AN2 – Please keep in mind while reading this part that I've never been to California and know almost nothing about places there.  So if something sounds not quite right, just look past it.  Thanks!

Warning – This part is totally and completely mushy, fluffy, sappy sweetness.  I think I went into sugar shock while writing it!  :-)

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Part 12

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Buffy yawned as she sat in Spike's Mustang.  They were just outside of Sunnydale on there way to Los Angeles so that she could see Angel.  That thought brought a happy grin to her face.  It had been five days since she last saw him.  Way too much time in her opinion.  She wondered how she ever managed to be apart from him for the seven years they'd been separated.  Her thoughts were interrupted again by another yawn.

"Why don't you get some sleep.  Not like you're going to miss anything while we're driving," stated Spike, glancing to the girl seated beside him.

"Yeah, I could probably use some sleep.  I didn't realize I was this tired.  All that work on the mansion has drained my energy," answered Buffy, yawning yet again as she got herself more comfortable in the seat.

"And we wouldn't want you to be tired for *whatever* you and Angel will probably be doing tonight," smirked Spike, promptly receiving a slap on the shoulder from Buffy.

"It's not like we're a pair of rabbits, geez," retorted Buffy with a half-hearted glare toward Spike.

"I'll believe that when I see it…err…actually I'd rather not see it," joked Spike, earning another playful smack.

"Keep your dirty thoughts to yourself," she chastised with a laugh.

"Just go to sleep, Slayer.  I can drive much better without you nagging me," Spike exclaimed in jest.

"Wake me when we get there," replied Buffy, leaning her head over against the window.  It wasn't exactly the most comfortable position, but with all the years spent being a Slayer she'd learned to get sleep whenever possible even if it was contorted in weird positions.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

An hour and a half later, thanks to Spike's maniacal driving, he pulled up at their destination.  For most of the trip he'd spent the time thinking.  So much had changed for him in the last few weeks.  

The (sort of) relationship with Buffy was completely different, yet still the same somehow.  He knew there'd be things that he would miss.  And he didn't mean the sex which had been amazing even if a fairly irregular occurrence between them the last few years.  No, it wasn't the sex.  It was just having her there beside him.  Who would be there when the nightmares tortured him in his sleep?  Who would he talk to on the days the guilt was too much?  Who would make fun of him for watching cheesy TV shows.

Buffy would.  He realized with a startling clarity that she'd still be able to do all those things for him, maybe just a little bit differently than before.  They just wouldn't be sharing the same room anymore.  But she would still be there.  He would still be able to go to her.  And as much as he hated to admit it, Angel would also be there.  And if anyone understood what it was like for him, Angel did.

Yes, she would still be there.  She wouldn't desert him.  With that thought in mind a sort of peace settled over Spike.  Things wouldn't be all that different.  And he would get to see Buffy truly happy, that alone would make him happy.  Plus there was whatever this mission was that these Powers had for him.

He wondered what they could possibly want from him.  It was a little scary to think that the higher Powers were watching him and expected something from him.  It was a bit humbling as well.  But maybe Buffy was right in what she said to him the other night.  Whatever it was, he could do it.  

For the last few years he'd just sort of gotten by.  Helped out when needed, done some patrolling, but really hadn't made an all out effort.  Maybe it was time to stop bumbling about.  He had the power and the opportunity to do something, to make a difference, to try and make amends.

That thought brought a silent laugh to his lips.  He sounded like that damn poof Angel.  'Making amends'…that was his riff wasn't it?  But was it his also?  Spike supposed it was.  He had never really been anybody of importance before in a good way.  As human he'd been mocked, as a vampire he'd been evil to the core and reeked murder and mayhem.  But now, he had a chance to do good and to matter.  Still, he thought, he'd never be as big of a poofy wanker as his sire.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

For a few minutes after pulling up at their destination, Spike sat in the car going over the plan Angel had laid out in his head.  He knew it was going to be tough to get Buffy to go along without asking too many questions.  An involuntary shudder when through him as he thought of what Angel might do to him if he screwed this up.  He definitely had to get her just to do as he asked.

Reaching over, Spike tapped Buffy on the shoulder.  When she didn't stir he tapped a little harder and called out her name.  Finally after the third shake of her body, the blonde woke up.

"Are we there?" she asked groggily.

"Yeah, you slept like a rock the whole way," stated Spike with a teasing smile.

"I didn't realize I'd been that tired," she said while stretching her body out.  She caught of glimpse of the surroundings and became a bit confused.  "Where are we?  Shouldn't we be at the hotel?"

"No, Angel wanted you to meet him here.  I think he wanted to treat us to dinner or something," he tried to explain confidently, hoping she bought the complete lie he was spilling.

"Oh…ok, I guess."  Buffy scrunched her brow a little at the weirdness of the situation.

"Come on, you want to go see Angel, don't you?" prodded Spike.

The two got out of the car.  Buffy glanced around and felt a familiarity with the area, but she couldn't quite place it.  She was sure that she'd been there before.  It was probably just when she used to live in LA she thought, shaking off the déjà vu.

"Where to?" questioned Buffy to Spike.  In return he pointed to a dark path through some trees.  She gave him a bewildered look, but went in that direction anyway because she trusted him

Buffy walked along the path, Spike a few steps behind.  She was slightly creeped out by the harsh darkness of the area.  They were obviously in a public place.  Why was it so dark?  She shrugged off the thoughts, maybe there was just a power outage or something.

When she reached the end of the path she was met only by more darkness.  The small sliver of a moon was of no help illuminating the area.  She could only make out some shadows, a walkway maybe, a railing, but that was only a haphazard guess.  The only thing clear to her was that they were somewhere near the ocean because she could hear the waves crashing in the distance in front of her.

For a few moments Buffy just stood there utterly mystified by the circumstances she found herself in.  She turned to ask Spike what the hell was going on only to find that he was no longer standing behind her.  A small noise behind her caught her attention and she flung her body back around, prepared to attack whatever was trying to sneak up on her.

The sight that met her eyes upon facing forward again caused her jaw to drop.  There before her where there had previously only been darkness were two large, lit candles off in front of her to the left and right. 

And in between the two candles stood Angel.

Or rather he wasn't standing.

But hunched down on one knee.

"Angel?" she whispered, tears forming in her eyes at the obvious implication of his positioning.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

The only sound that echoed around the couple was that of the waves crashing somewhere beyond them as Buffy and Angel stared at each other in the dim light projected by the two candles.  Buffy's eyes searched the deep brown ones that looked up her, trying to understand what exactly what going on.  All she could read in his eyes was the love reflected in them.

The staring contest continued for minutes until Buffy finally spoke.

"Wh-" she cleared her suddenly dry throat.  "What's going on?"

"Seven years ago, today, I got my first chance to *really* see you in the sunlight, to hold you in my arms," he paused at the slight gasp that Buffy voiced when she realized where it was that they were.  Tears were starting to roll down her cheeks as Angel continued his speech.

"Those few moments we had that day were some of the best in my long life.  To be able to hold you in my arms, to love you, to see you in the sunlight…without having the loss of my soul looming over us, was perfection.  I cherished and hated those memories every day of my life since then.  I treasured them because they reminded me of our love and helped me keep hope when there wasn't any other reason to.  And I hated them because they stood for all that I could never have."  Angel stopped speaking for a few seconds to regain his composure as his emotions were beginning to overwhelm him.

"I never knew what love was before I met you.  As a human before I was worthless…a drunk who used women, as Angelus I committed unspeakable acts…and during all that time I never once understood the concept of love.  Not until I saw you that day so long ago from where I was hiding in the shadows.  I fell in love with you at that moment and I grew to love you more and more each time I was near you.  I never expected that you would be able to love me back.  But you did.  You saw me as a man even when I couldn't."  He reached up to grasp her left hand in his right.

"We've been through so much, experienced so much hurt and pain.  We lost each other for a while, gave up hope at times.  We both tried to live on without each other, tried to move on.  Maybe we needed the time apart to grow, to be ready for the time when we could finally be together.  There were days it was harder than other times to hope that someday, we would have a chance.

But now, we do, and I don't ever want to let you go again.  When I had nothing to live for, when my life was full of darkness, you believed in me.  You gave me a reason to keep going.  And you still give me all those things and so much more.  I can't imagine what my life would be like if I had never known you."

Angel reached into his pocket to pull out a small, black, velvet box.  Taking a deep breath he turned his head back up to look into the shiny, tear-stained eyes of his beloved.  He squeezed her hand slightly harder before speaking further.

"I would be the happiest person in existence if you would honor me by becoming my wife, tonight," he said softly, pouring out every ounce of love through his own eyes.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Buffy stood and listened as Angel, her Angel, the one person she'd love for all of eternity, professed his feelings for her.  She couldn't move a muscle in her body, feeling strangely detached from her physical form, as if she were watching the entire moment from above

She'd longed for this moment for so long.  It had been the focus of so many of her dreams in her teenage years.  And even after all the hell they'd been through, literal Hell in Angel's case, she'd still hoped for it only to seemingly have her dreams squashed on the night of that fateful talk in the sewer somewhere below Sunnydale.  

The dream of someday held for a while after that, but it had slowly died, only existing in the deepest recesses of her heart, no longer wanted in her daily consciousness.  Day after day, the last few years, she'd just gone through the motions.  Never dreaming of anything better.  Never hoping.

That all changed when HE walked back into her life.  Throwing her headlong into unwanted desires and memories.  She'd tried to fight it, but the pull was too strong…the bond eternal.  True love could never be ignored.  Forever.  That's the whole point, right?

And as she stood there listening to his words she was glad that she couldn't fight it.  This was the dream forever existing somewhere within her.  Only now, it was no longer a dream.  It was reality.  Her reality.  Their reality.

The moment the all important question came out of Angel's mouth she sank down to the ground in front of him, staring first at the little box in his hands that held a gorgeous platinum ring circled in diamonds with a heart-shaped pink diamond in the center, and then lifted her head to gaze into his soulful eyes.  She tried to speak, but her muscles didn't seem to be obeying her request.  Answer, she had to answer him.

Shaking her head almost imperceptibly in an attempt to bring herself back to the moment, she went to speak again, this time succeeding.

"Yes, of course I'll marry you," she whispered in an almost awe-struck voice.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

"Y-yes?" repeated Angel hoarsely.

In response, Buffy only nodded her head in affirmation, her tears still streaming steadily down her cheeks.  She watched as Angel pulled the ring out of the little box and reached for her hand.  Even if she wanted to speak, she didn't think anything she could say would express what she was feeling.  So she just stared into his eyes as he placed the ring onto her finger.

When she felt the chilly metal against her skin she looked down at it, loving the way the token looked on her hand.  After gazing at it for a few seconds, she looked back up at Angel, bringing the hand baring the ring up to cup his left cheek.

"I love you," she spoke softly, a slight tremble in her voice.

"I love you, my beloved," repeated Angel before pulling her into a gentle but passionate kiss.

The kiss lasted only a short time, but they remained tangled in a tight embrace for much longer.  Both were now crying over the realization of a dream finally come true.  To Angel, it was his truest redemption, that someone as light and good as Buffy could accept him completely meant more than any form of humanity ever could.  And to Buffy, this moment was the penultimate reward for all that she'd sacrificed and lost in her short lifetime.

Neither wanted to break the physical contact they were ensconced in.  The feeling of completion was almost surreal.  But suddenly something that Angel said clicked in Buffy's head.

"Tonight?  You want us to get married tonight!?!?" she yelped in utter confusion and surprise.

"Yes, I don't want to waste another moment of our lives together," explained Angel, the barest hint of a smirk on his face at the rest of his surprise.

"B-but ho-" she started to ask when she was abruptly interrupted.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Buffy's question was cut off when the area around her became suddenly brighter.  She pulled back from Angel to look around them to find that thousands of white twinkle lights had been turned on.  They were all over, strung around the railings, through the trees, along the ground.  As she looked around more she saw flowered covered lattice archway had been set up near the edge of the walk overlooking the ocean with candles lined up around it.  Her jaw dropped at the unexpected, yet beautiful scene.

Further to her left she found yet more surprises.  There stood a medium sized group of people consisting of everyone she considered to be her family, plus those she assumed were Angel's 'family'.  All of them, Willow, Xander, Sierra, Spike, Dawn, Cordy, Wes, Gunn, Fred, and Lorne as well as another man wearing a dark suit, were watching them with matching smiles on their faces.

"Oh. My. God!" Buffy shrieked in amazement.

"Surprise?" answered Angel sheepishly.

"Wow.  I can't believe you did all of this!" she stated in total awe.

"I had help."  Angel tried to shrug off being given the credit.

"Don't listen to him, this was all his idea, we just did whatever he asked," stated Cordelia as she and the rest of the group walked up to the now standing couple.

"I-I don't know what to say," stuttered Buffy.  She turned to Angel.  "You really want to get married tonight?"

"I do, but only if you want to.  I don't want to push you into it if yo-" Angel was promptly cut off by Buffy.

"Of course I want to get married tonight!  It's just…wow…it's a lot to take in.  But yes, I would love to marry you tonight," she stated, placing a tender kiss on his lips.

"Oh please, you two have plenty of time for that later…when we're all not here to see it," scoffed Cordelia in typical fashion.

"Oh my God!  What am I going to wear?  Angel!  I can't get married looking like this!" Buffy yelped animatedly while Cordy laughed and Willow and the others shook their heads at the statement.

"Don't worry about all that.  Willow and I picked out a few dresses for you to choose from, and brought makeup and everything to do your hair.  I'm sure we can manage to make you look presentable," Cordelia stated assuredly.

"You guys really did think of everything," answered Buffy, more tears forming in her eyes at the actions of her loved ones.

Buffy turned and gave Willow and Cordy hugs for what they had done for her, moving down the line she gave Sierra a peck on the cheek.  Xander pulled her into a hug as well.

"Congratulations Buff.  The first of the Scoobies to get married.  Who woulda thought?" Xander spoke quietly into her ear.

"Thanks Xander," she answered, giving his a kiss on the cheek.

Spike was next in the group of friends.  He looked at her uncomfortably for a moment, not particularly enjoying the mushiness of the situation, but Buffy would have none of it.  She wrapped her arms around him in a friendly embrace.

"I'm glad you're here, it means a lot to me," she whispered genuinely to him.

"Just be happy," Spike replied softly, and she knew he really meant it.

"I will," she answered before pulling away from him.

"Dawnie!" Buffy shrieked, yanking her sister into her arms.

"Geez!  Buffy, I do have to breathe!" choked out Dawn.

"Oh!  Sorry!  I'm just happy you're here!" Buffy exclaimed excitedly.

"Hey, did you think I would miss your wedding?" asked Dawn with a smile.

"No, but I'm still glad you're here," answered Buffy, once again squeezing her sister a little to hard.

She broke away from her sister, moving to the next group of people who were Angel's friends.

"Umm, I don't really know you guys, except for Wes, but I'm glad you're all here.  I'm sure Angel's glad you're here," she spoke honestly to them.

"We wouldn't want to miss our man's wedding," Gunn stated with a smile toward Angel.

"Yes, we're so happy for you two," added on Fred, giving Buffy a quick friendly hug.

"Sunshine, if you keep putting smiles like that on the big guy's face, you're all right in my book," relayed Lorne with a kiss on Buffy's cheek.

"Congratulations, Buffy.  You both deserve this," spoke Wesley, surprising Buffy by pulling her into a hug.

"Thanks, Wes.  And thank you for being a friend to Angel," Buffy replied, quietly enough that only Wesley could hear.  He just nodded in response, slightly blushing.

Now that all of the greetings and thank yous had been taken care of, Buffy stood there looking at all of her friends, unsure of what to do now since this was Angel's plan.  She was about to turn and ask Angel a question when a new voice broke the silence.

"I hear that there is to be a wedding here tonight," the new, yet all too familiar voice spoke.

"Giles?!?" Buffy almost yelled, whipping around to face the speaker.  "Oh my god, Giles!"  She launched herself into the older man's arms, once again crying.

"How did you know?" she asked in a rush.

"Angel called me and told me, asked if I would be here," he answered, hugging her tighter.

"I'm so glad you're here," she stated softly.

"I am too.  I know I never was all that supportive of your relationship with Angel, but any idiot could see that he made you happy.  I wish you only the best," Giles said sincerely.

"Thank you Giles, that means a lot coming from you.  And I have a favor to ask of you.  You may not be my real father, but for the last 10 years, you're the only one I've known, and I'd be honored if you would walk me down the aisle," requested Buffy, stunning Giles in the process.

"I-I don't know what to say.  Of course, I will.  I'd be honored," answered Giles, his eyes misting a bit.

"Thank you," replied Buffy, a small kiss placed on Giles cheek.

Taking a moment to take in everything that had occurred in the last half hour, Buffy just stood there staring at the scenes before her.  It was everything she could have imagined a proposal and wedding could be.  Her heart felt like it was going to burst with the love radiating in the air, not just from her Angel, but from all of her…their…friends.  Turning, she approached Angel.

"And you!   I can't believe you planned all this and managed to not only keep it from me yourself, but got all the others to keep it a secret," she teased lightly.

"Didn't want to ruin the surprise," he smiled back.  "I hope you like it."

"I *love* it," she gushed, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck and giving his a soft kiss.  She then pulled his head down so that his right ear was level with her mouth.

"I'll have to show you later just how much I love it," she stated wickedly, earning a few snickers from the group standing not far from them.  The words caused Angel to blush slightly.

"I'll remember that," he whispered seductively back to her.

"Maybe we should get to the actual wedding part of the, uh, wedding before they get to the honeymoon part," interrupted Willow with a wave of her hand toward the couple who were now engrossed only in each other.

"Good idea," agreed Xander, a slight shudder at the thought of Buffy and Angel on a honeymoon.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

"Are you sure I should wear this dress?" Buffy asked for the twentieth time since the girls had arrived back at the hotel to get Buffy ready for the wedding.

She was standing in front of a full length mirror looking at the dress she had chosen.  It was off-white with a bodice top that had a strap that went around her neck.  The bottom half had a straight skirt with a sheer, flowing overlay.  There were hints of pink along the bottom of the sheer part.  It reminded her of the dress she had worn sophomore year of high school the night she killed the Master.

"Buffy, it's perfect.  Besides, Angel wouldn't care if you showed up in jeans and a sweatshirt.  The only thing he'd notice would be you, not what you are wearing," Willow answered with a laugh.

"She's right.  And anyways, I picked out the dress so it's got to be perfect," chirped Cordelia as she took out her bag of make-up and hair accessories.  "All right, sit down so we can finish up and get back to your wedding."

A half hour later, Buffy was ready.  Cordy had done her hair up in a French twist with a few sprigs of curls hanging around her face, and Baby's Breath strategically laced in.  She stood in front of the mirror, checking every last aspect of her appearance.  It didn't matter what the others said, she had to look perfect for Angel.

"I think we're almost-…Oh wait, we forgot that tradition thing…ya know the something old, something new thing," stated Cordelia, trying to remember the old superstition.

"Already taken care of," chimed in Willow.  "She has something new, the dress, not to mention that ring Angel gave you."  Buffy smiled, looking down ad the engagement ring.

"What about something borrowed?" wondered Cordelia before thinking of something.  "Oh, you can wear my anklet, Angel gave it to me for my birthday last year." She reached down to undo the clasp of the jewelry and handed it to Buffy.

"Wow, thanks Cordy, it's beautiful," Buffy responded sincerely.

"Ok, so we have something new, and something borrowed.  I have something old for you."  Willow reached into her bad to pull out a familiar looking jewelry box.  Buffy took the box from her with a curious look and then opened it.

"Oh, Willow, it's perfect.  Thank you so much!" exclaimed Buffy, giving her red headed friend a hug.

"What is it?" asked Cordy, cocking her head a little.

"It's the silver cross Angel gave me the very first time I met him," explained Buffy, running her fingers over the cool metal.  Willow pulled the object from the box, placing it around Buffy's neck and latching it.

"So all we need now is something blue," stated Willow, taking on a pensive face at what they could use that was blue.

"Oh, don't worry, I've got blue covered," cut in Dawn as she strolled into the room.

"I'm almost afraid to ask," Buffy replied sarcastically.

"What?  You mean this?" Dawn smirked, twirling a blue and white garter around her finger.  Buffy shook her head and grabbed the article from her sister.

"Why am I not surprised?" asked Buffy, holding up the garter.

"Hey, don't knock it.  You needed something blue didn't you?" Dawn stated, laughing at the blush on her Buffy's face, but then turned serious.  "You look beautiful Buffy, Angel is going to love it."

"I hope so.  I just…I just wish Mom were here," Buffy answered sadly.

"Me too," agreed Dawn, giving Buffy a hug.  "But I'm sure she's watching over you and is very happy and proud."

"Thanks, I love you Dawnie.  I'm glad you were able to be here," Buffy said softly.

"Wouldn't have missed it," Dawn whispered back.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

"Would you stop pacing De- Angel.  You're making me dizzy," scolded Xander teasingly.

"Sorry, I'm just ne-",

"Nervous?  Ya think?  Wouldn't have guessed that.  Would you guys?" Xander joked, receiving agreeing smiles from Wesley, Gunn, Giles, Lorne, and Spike.

"But what if she changes her mind," babbled Angel, still pacing.

"Yeah, and I might wake up human tomorrow," Spike retorted dryly.

"It's been known to happen.  Vampires turning human.  I did…oh, that was a joke wasn't it?"  Angel finally stopped pacing, suddenly patting the pockets of his tuxedo.  "Rings.  Where are the rings?"

"Willow and I have the rings, Angel," comforted Wesley.  "Everything is ready.  The Justice of the Peace is in place, the rings are taken care of, Cordelia called to say they were on their way five minutes ago.  The only thing left is for us to take our places."

"O-ok, l-let's go," stuttered Angel, feeling even more nervous than before.  He started to follow the others over to where the ceremony would take place.  "Are you sure she won't change her mind?"

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Angel stood watching the walkway that his Buffy would soon walk down.  Spike had just informed everyone that the girls had arrived.  So now they were all standing in their places; the Justice of the Peace underneath the flower and light covered archway, Angel in front of him to the right, Wes to Angel's left, and the others, now joined by Fred, Dawn, and Cordy, off to the sides.

Sierra came down first, sprinkling white rose petals on the ground from a basket she held.  Then came Willow, a happy smile on her face as she took her place opposite Wesley.  Everyone's eyes were focused on the entranceway awaiting the appearance of the bride-to-be.

Angel felt like he was going to pass out from being so nervous.  His palms were sweaty and his hands were shaking.  The reality that he was getting married in only a few minutes to the one true love he'd ever had was just sinking in.  He wondered how it was he'd been honored with this.  So many horrible things had been done by his hands, even if they were possessed by a demon.  And now he was redeemed, basically human, and about to marry Buffy, his Buffy.

Finally she appeared, a brilliant smile on her face and an almost radiant glow surrounding her.  She looked absolutely beautiful standing there on Giles' arm.  If he hadn't already been in love with her, he would have fallen again.  He stared into her eyes, and suddenly all the nervousness he previously felt melted away.  It was as if only the two of them existed at that very moment.

Buffy remained standing at the entranceway for a little while, taking in the images before her.  She couldn't believe that he had done all this for her…the flowers, the lights, all their friends.  It was amazing.  She lifted her eyes to meet his, a smile forming on her lips.  He looked gorgeous in his tux.  She idly wondered if she was drooling, but really she didn't care.  

She was getting married.  *Married!!!*  The whole concept seemed unreal.  How on earth could she be getting married?  Soon she'd be Angel's wife.  That had a nice sound to it, she decided.  It was all she'd ever wanted so long ago, and now she was going to get it.  

A gentle shake of her arm from Giles snapper her out of her reverie.  She looked over to the man who was like a father to her and smiled, letting him know that she was ready.  Slowly, they made their way to Angel and the Justice of the Peace.

Upon reaching their destination, Giles relinquished his hold on Buffy's arm and kissed her lightly on the cheek.  Before moving to stand with the others he gave Angel a friendly pat on the shoulder, as well as a smile.  He was truly happy that something was finely working out for the girl he considered a daughter.

"Shall we begin?" the JOTP (Justice of the Peace) asked of the couple.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

"We are here tonight in the witness of the friends and family of Angel O'Roarke and Buffy Summers for the event of their lifelong joining.  I ask that if anyone has any objections to his marriage, please come forward and do so now."  Everyone present looked at each other with smiles on their faces, except for Buffy and Angel who could only look at each other.

"Good, we shall continue," the JOTP turned to the couple.  "I can recite vows for you, or, if you choose, you may speak your own."

Angel and Buffy looked at each other, nodding simultaneously.  "We'd like to say our own," answered Buffy for them both.

The JOTP smiled at them, seeing the obvious love in their eyes.  "Good, Angel you may go first."

Angel turned to face Buffy, taking both her hands into his.  He gazed into her eyes for a few moments before speaking.

"Buffy, no words that I could come up with would be enough to express how much you mean to me.  Our lives haven't always been happy, we've been hurt, sometimes by each other.  But we've survived and found our way back to our love.

When I first met you almost 10 years ago, I never thought that this day would come, let alone that you would love me.  You showed me how to live, how to be a part of this world.  I don't know where I would be now if you had never existed.  You are my life, my light, my heart.  And I will forever cherish our love."  Angel finished, a solitary tear falling down his cheek that Buffy reached up to wipe away.

Not needing the Justice of the Peace to tell her it was her turn, Buffy began to speak.

"Angel, my love, you underestimate yourself.  You are a good man, inside and out, with or without me.  But I will always be glad that I found you.  Just as you don't know where you would be without me, I don't know if I'd be half the person I am if you'd never come into my life.  You helped me accept the life that I was dealt, helped me survive.  Whenever things were tough back then, I could always come to you.  That meant so much to me.

For a long time I gave up hope that this day would come, but you never did.  And for that I am thankful.  I never used to look to the future, but now I have a reason.  I can't wait to spend every day of it with you.  You are also my life, my light, my heart.  And I will forever cherish our love," stated Buffy, repeating the final sentences of Angel's vow.

Briefly, Buffy looked around at her friends and family, noticing that the women had tears in their eyes, and even the men seemed a bit misty eyed.  She smiled toward them before focusing on the Justice's next words.

"We have heard Buffy and Angel's vows to each other, and now it is time for the exchange rings.  Angel," the man requested with a nod to the groom.

Angel turned to Wes and took the ring from him.  "I give you this ring, as symbol of my love, and a promise that we will always be together for eternity and beyond."  He slid the diamond inset platinum band onto her finger, pulling the hand up to place a kiss onto it.

Buffy took the ring Willow was holding out to her and repeated the vow.  "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, and a promise that we will always be together for eternity and beyond."  She placed the ring onto his finger, caressing the back of his hand with her thumb before looping her arm through his.  The couple turned to face the Justice of the Peace.

"With the exchange of rings I now pronounce you husband and wife, Angel you may kiss the bride," the man said, emitting a slight laugh as Angel swept Buffy up into his arms and kissed her passionately.

"Friends, family…I would now like to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Angel O'Roarke," the Justice of the Peace decreed with a smile.  The audience clapped, a few cat-calls being emitting from Gunn and Xander.  They all laughed when Buffy and Angel appeared oblivious and remained in their liplock.

"I love you," whispered Angel when he finally pulled away.

"I love you, my Angel," repeated Buffy, a few tears falling.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Sounds of laughter rang throughout the lobby of the Hyperion hotel as Buffy, Angel, and their family and friends celebrated the couple's union.  No one thought about demons, darkness and evil.  For this night, they were only concerned with being happy and recognizing dreams come true.  Demon and darkness could just wait until they were done having fun.

Right after they'd returned to the hotel, that had mysteriously been decorated after the girls left before the wedding, Cordy insisted that they open the gifts.  Willow, Xander and Sierra gave them a beautiful painting of a sunset set as well as dark cherry chest for their bedroom, Cordelia surprised them both by giving them a set of antique daggers, Wesley matching watches, Giles handed them a card that said that when they decided to take a honeymoon he would pay for it, Lorne sang them a song written especially for them, Gunn and Fred gave them a set of crystal glasses, and lastly, Dawn and Spike pitched in together for perhaps the most touching gift: inscriptions inside their wedding rings that read "Buffy & Angel – Forever."

Once the gifts were opened, admired, and thank yous exchanged, a large, three tiered cake was wheeled out into the lobby.  The chocolate/vanilla swirled cake was coated with gleaming white icing and decorated with delicate pink roses.  As is traditional, the top tier was removed, and packed away to be frozen and then eaten on their first anniversary.

Two small pieces were cut for Buffy and Angel to feed to each other.  Buffy smiled evilly at Willow before gently raising the piece to Angel's lips as he did the same to her.  Just before the bite of cake was about to entered Angel's mouth, she veered upwards slightly and smooshed it onto his nose.  She laughed hysterically at the sight, not even stopped when Angel did the same with his piece onto her face.  They kissed amid the laughter, spreading cake bits and icing all over themselves.

The group chatted as they ate their cake, the Sunnydale and LA teams getting along easily.  Battle stories were exchanged, funny moments talked about, memories of the happy couple reminisced upon.  And, of course, there were the speeches from the best man, Wesley, and the maid of honor, Willow.

An hour and a half after arriving back at the hotel, once the presents had been opened, the cake eaten, and friendly banter traded back and forth, it was finally time for the newly married couple to share their first dance.

Angel led Buffy out onto the dance forth as the first bars of the song began to echo throughout the lobby of the hotel.  The tune instantly transported Buffy back to another time.  The song was the one she had danced to with Angel at her senior prom.  She looked up at Angel to see if he realized what the song was.

"This song always made me think of you," he stated in answer to her questioning eyes.

"Me too," she agreed softly, laying her head to rest against his chest.

Angel's arms wrapped around her body, pulling her tighter against him.  His head leaned against the top of hers as they swayed to the rhythm of the song.  For both, it was like they were finally home, where they always belonged.  

The others watched the couple dance, entranced by the magic that seemed to surround them.  Not one of them could think of anything that was more perfect than the sight of the once-forbidden lovers cradled in each others arms.  Each of them was happy for their friends, for them finally being able to have the peace and happiness that they deserved.  For once, fate was on their side.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

A few hours later, after much more dancing and laughter, the party finally broke up.  The Sunnydale gang opted to head back home because they all had to go to work the next day, while the LA crew returned to their apartments in the city.  And they all knew that Buffy and Angel would want to have some alone time for their wedding night.

"So you guys are going to be back in Sunnydale tomorrow?" Willow asked to Buffy and Angel.

"Yeah, we don't really need a honeymoon right now.  I've got work, and Angel wants to get the business up and running.  Plus I think I'd rather wait and go during the summer when it's warmer," explained Buffy.  She and Angel had talked about a honeymoon while they were dancing, both agreeing that they didn't really need to go right now.  It was enough for them just to be together.

"Ok, well I guess we'll see you sometime tomorrow then.  And congratulations again," stated Willow, giving both of them a hug.

"Yeah, and try not to have too much fun tonight!" teased Xander, holding a sleeping Sierra in his arms.

"I make no promises," retorted Buffy, causing everyone to laugh.

They said their final goodbyes, and watched as everyone left the hotel.  When everyone was finally gone, Angel stood behind Buffy and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Ready to go start the wedding night?" he asked huskily.

"Mmm, I'm ready whenever you are," she groaned, feeling just how much he wanted her.  

"Race ya!" Buffy yelped, pulling quickly out of his arms and making a dash for the stairs.

"Oh no you don't!" laughed Angel when he easily caught up with her on the second stair, picking her up and tossing her over his shoulder.

"Angel! Put me down!" Buffy shrieked, all the while laughing loudly.

Angel, however, had other ideas.  Refusing to obey her request, he raced up the remaining stairs and down the hall into what would soon be his former room.  The sounds of Buffy's laughter echoed throughout the hotel, but died down shortly thereafter, replaced by the sounds of the now married couple cementing their union.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

the next morning – Magic Box

"Ugh, I could use another four hours of sleep," yawned Willow, as she, Xander and Sierra sat at the research table having donuts for breakfast.  "I should have listened to Spike and just not opened up the store this morning."

"Well, you're the boss, you can always close early," Xander stated as he handed a napkin to his daughter.

"True.  Maybe I'll get a second wind.  But it has been slow because of the holidays.  I'll just wait and see," she explained, laughing slightly at the sugary powder covering Sierra's face.

"When do you think the happy couple will show up?" questioned Xander.

"Who knows, I'm surprised they're going to even attempt to get out of bed today," joked Willow with a shake of her head.

"Yeah, I don't see them breaking physical contact anytime soon," agreed Xander, reaching for another donut.

"Don't you have to work today?" Willow asked, noticing that it was almost eleven a.m.

"I just have to go check on two of the crews, but that's all.  I'm having a late lunch with Cordy afterwards," he relayed, a slight blush creeping into his cheeks.

"Cordy?  Huh?" Willow quirked an eyebrow at that.  She was about to press for more details when the bell rang signaling that someone had entered the store.

Standing up from the table, Willow looked down at her shirt and brushed some crumbs off, her 'welcome speech' starting before her head lifted back up.

"Welcome to the Mag-" she abruptly stopped when her eyes met those of the new arrival.

"Hey," the all-too-familiar man stated coolly.

"Oz," Willow choked out, completely overwhelmed.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

TBC…feedback is much appreciated!


	13. Part 13 Love, Happiness & New Oppurtuni...

Author's Notes –  This part was a bit of a struggle (damn writer's block!)  It's pretty much fluff.  Lot's of stuff with other characters going on…a lot of what goes on with them in this part, and the next will be implied and happen outside of what's written, it'll just be recapped kinda because I don't feel like delving too much into the others relationships.  But anyways, hope you all like it!

AN2 – I gotta send thanks out to those of you at ff.net (Tariq, Shahid, Tamashii, and Allison…and anyone else) who've sent me feedback on pretty much every part…I really appreciate it!

Warnings – implied sex, fluff

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Part 13

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

later that night

"Back to the real world huh?  Maybe we should have taken that honeymoon," joked Buffy as she and Angel pulled up outside the Magic Box the day after their impromptu wedding.

"I'm not much looking forward to working either," agreed Angel with a sigh, pulling Buffy over in the seat so she was next to him.

"Maybe we can hideout in the mansion for a few more days before we jump back into the real world?" asked Buffy timidly before tilting her head upwards to look at Angel.

"Sounds like a good idea to me," whispered Angel, then placing a sweet kiss on his wife's lips.  The whole husband/wife thing had yet to really sink into their minds.  It was just something they never quite really thought would happen. 

The kiss lasted a few tender moments.  There was no rush to their lives for now.  They could just enjoy each other without worrying about anything.  It was a novel concept for them.

"I love you," Buffy stated sincerely as they broke from their embrace.

"I love you to, my beautiful wife," smiled Angel in return.  Out of the corner of his eye, something caught his attention.  "It doesn't look like the shop is open."

Buffy turned to look in the direction of the store she was co-owner of and frowned.  "Huh, that's weird.  It should be open for another hour.  Maybe Willow closed up early.  We did have everyone up kinda late last night."

"Probably, and you guys did say business has been slow over the Thanksgiving holiday," said Angel, truly hoping that there wasn't anything dire going on to motivate the shop being closed.

"Yeah, we should head over to the mansion, see what's up," replied Buffy, snuggling closer to Angel.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

A few minutes later, Buffy and Angel arrived at the mansion.  They spent a little while stealing kisses by the car before making their way into their new home to see what was up with their friends.  

Upon entering the building, the two were met with complete silence which was a bit unusual considering how many people now lived their.  Forgetting that they were looking for Willow, Angel got sidetracked looking around their home which seemed to look completely different and much more welcoming than the last time he'd been there almost a week before.

"Wow, you guys have really been busy.  I hardly recognize the place," he said almost in awe of the changes.

"Do you like it?" Buffy asked worriedly.  Her, Willow, and Cordy had gone a little overboard on refurnishing the mansion.  She just hoped Angel liked it all.

"Don't worry, baby, I love it.  I just never thought this place could look so much like…a home.  You guys did a great job.  Well worth all the money that you guys probably spent," laughed Angel with a shake of his head.

"I'm glad you like it," responded Buffy, placing a quick kiss on his cheek.  "And we actually did ok money wise.  If there's one thing Cordy has learned, it's how to shop for bargains."

"I'm sure my bank account is glad to know that," he teased lightly, earning a smack on the arm from his love.

They walked to the main room arm and arm, laughing, in search of their friends.  They were the epitome of happy, loving couple, which, in reality, was something they'd never really gotten to be before.  But it was these blessed moments of normalcy that they cherished dearly.  And it was these moments that both had never really thought they would get to have with each other.

When they entered the main room they were greeted with a sight that caused Buffy's brow to wrinkle and a frown to appear on her face.  Seated length-wise on the couch was Willow, a pillow clutched in her arms.  The look on her face made it obvious that there was something worrisome on her mind.  Buffy immediately became concerned for her friend.  

"Will?" Buffy asked after she walked up to her friend.  When she received no response she shook her lightly on the shoulder.  "Will?  Are you all right?"

"Huh?  Oh hey Buffy, Angel.  Didn't hear you guys come in," Willow stated in an almost emotionless voice.

"Is everything okay?  We saw that the shop was closed," Buffy asked, growing more concerned.

"Oh…yeah…I was tired so I closed up early," answered Willow sleepily.

"Understandable.  We were all up pretty late last night," Buffy replied, a dreamy smile coming across her face as thoughts of the night before played in her mind.

"Yeah," Willow said with a shrug, moving her feet as Buffy sat on the couch.

"Will, what's wrong?  And don't tell me nothing.  I know something is wrong," demanded Buffy gently.

"It's just…" began Willow, shifting her hands up to her head in order to massage her temples.  "It's…well, Oz showed up at the Magic Box this morning."

"Wh-…but…Oz?" Buffy stuttered out, totally surprised at the revelation.

"That was kinda my reaction too," stated Willow, managed a small chuckle.

"Wow…its just…unexpected.  So what happened?" questioned Buffy, making room for Angel on the couch and then sliding into his lap.  The couple then listened intently as Willow recounted the events of that morning.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

_flashback to that morning_

_"Oz," __Willow__ choked out, completely overwhelmed._

_"Sorry to just stop by," the currently purple haired man stated_

_"Oz!__ Long time no see!  How's it going?" asked Xander, trying his best to give his friend a moment to gather herself._

_"Same as always.__  You?" Oz questioned stoically. _

_"I'm doing pretty good actually," Xander answered with a grin._

_"Cool," was Oz's typical answer.  He then faced __Willow__, speaking again.  "Is it okay that I'm here?  I can leave if you want me to."_

_"Huh...Oh…Yes…I mean, yeah, it's okay that you are here," stuttered __Willow__ nervously._

_Just then Sierra tugged on __Willow__'s shirt, garnering her mother's attention.  "Who dat?" the little girl asked curiously._

_"He's a friend of mine.  His name is Oz," __Willow__ answered, unexpectedly uneasy about revealing her daughter's identity to her old love._

_Sierra turned and faced the stranger, cocking her head a little.  She studied him for a minute before walking up to him.  Smiling warmly, the girl held out a hand in front of her and spoke, "Hi!  My name Sierra."_

_"Hi, I'm Oz," he replied, crouching down before shaking the hand offered to him._

_"You have purple hair," Sierra stated innocently.  Despite the awkward situation they were in, all the adults laughed at the child's statement._

_"Yes, I do," he smiled at the girl._

_Willow walked up to where the pair were, bending over to pick up the girl.  Oz rose from his crouched position.  "Umm, this is Sierra, which I guess you already know.  She's, uh, she's mine and Xander's daughter," a jittery __Willow__ explained._

_Oz's gaze briefly flickered to Xander, a pained yet curious look in his eyes, before focusing back on the pair before him.  "Oh," Oz said in his monotone voice._

_"And I think that's my cue.  Why don't I take Sierra with me to lunch with Cordy and then we'll take her to the mall or something," Xander offered not knowing what else to do._

_"Umm, yeah, okay.  Just don't let her eat a lot of sweets," __Willow__ replied distractedly, her eyes darting around the room trying to look at anything but her first love.  They weren't together but she knew the idea of her and Xander together probably stung because of what had happened back in high school._

_"Would I do something like that?" Xander grinned as he took his daughter from __Willow__._

_end flashback_

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

"Sooo…what happened after that?" spoke Buffy slowly, still trying to let the news that Oz has shown up out of the blue soak in.  

"After Xander left we just kinda sat there not looking at each other for a while until Oz said 'So you're with Xander now'," relayed Willow while stretching her legs out in front of her.

"I can imagine the idea of you two must have stung him a little considering things from the past.  So what did you tell him," inquired Buffy gently.

"What else could I do?  I told him the truth.  It's a good thing there wasn't really any business today because we sat there talking for hours.  I told him about Tara's death, what happened afterwards, the night with Xander, then finding out I was pregnant.  And do you know what he said to all that," paused Willow briefly.  "He said he was sorry about Tara."

"Kinda typical of Oz though," replied Buffy, remembering her old friends typical statements.

"Yeah, it is.  I just wasn't expecting it after how things went the last time he was in town," Willow said with a slight shrug.

"Did he say why he was back in Sunnydale?" Buffy questioned, the thought just occurring to her.

"No, we never really got to that.  We just talked," answered Willow, now wondering herself what the reason for his return was.

"But it was nice to talk to him?" prodded Buffy with more than a little curiosity.

"Yeah, it was nice," Willow responded, a hint of a smile appearing on her face which caused Buffy to quirk an eyebrow at her.  "What?"

"Nothing," Buffy quickly defended herself.

"I know what you're thinking.  Nothing is going to happen with me and Oz…at least I don't think so.  It's just…it's all so confusing," Willow sighed, flopping back against the couch.

"How come?  Do you still have feelings for him?" questioned Buffy with a pointed look at her friend.

"I don't know.  No…maybe…I guess so.  How could I not.  It's not like we ever fell out of love with each other.  I just…" Willow trailed off not knowing how to explain her hesitation at the new relationship possibility.

"Willow…I think you should keep an open mind about it.  If you don't you'll always wonder.  Maybe things will work out, maybe they won't, and maybe you'll find that you just want to be friends.  But whichever, you should just let whatever happens, happen," preached Buffy, having only the best intentions.

"I know, but I mean…well, I've been with three people in my life: Oz, Tara, and only once Xander…but ever since things first started with Tara I've considered myself…well…a lesbian…and Oz is…well…a guy," sputtered Willow, feeling a little awkward talking about the subject.

"Willow, do you mind if I say something," interjected Angel, who until that moment had been sitting quietly next to Buffy offering silent support.

"Sure, why not," motioned Willow with a wave of her hand.

"Don't let your choices be dictated by a label.  Don't let some kind of rule determine who you can love.  Loving someone doesn't have to be about what gender they are.  It's about what you feel.  And feelings don't always play by the rules.  They don't always care about whether the person is male or female.  So neither should you.  It's just about loving them, whoever they are.  If we ignored feelings because of expectations then we would lose out on so many chances at happiness," spoke Angel from deep in his heart.

"I never thought about it that way," pondered Willow with a small frown.  "I guess you guys would sort of know what it's like."

"In a way, yes.  Our relationship was a walking contradiction.  Vampire and Slayer…Alive and Undead…never mind the age difference.  Everything about us was wrong and against the rules.  But we ignored them and gained so much more.  Yeah, it wasn't always great…in fact there were a lot of horrible things that happened.  In the end though, we found our happiness, and I'll never, ever, regret it.  We wouldn't be here right now if we had done what was expected of us," Angel stated in total honesty.

"I guess you're right.  It's just all so confusing," Willow answered, emitting a slight yawn.

"It's going to be, Will.  But like Angel was saying, keep an open mind.  Just let things happen however they will," Buffy reiterated her earlier statement.

"I think I will.  You're right, I don't want to wonder 'what if' years from now," smiled Willow.  "Thanks guys, I really appreciate the advice."

"You're welcome.  We just want you to be happy," answered Buffy, placing a comforting hand on Willow's knee.

"Why don't you invite Oz over for dinner tomorrow night.  We'll have a big dinner while Giles is still in town," suggested Angel, looking to Buffy for agreement.  She nodded her head in return.

"Sounds like a good idea.  I'm sure Oz would like to see everyone else," nodded Willow, already looking forward to it.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

"Speaking of Giles and the others, where is everyone?" questioned Buffy, in her usual fashion of sudden topic changing.

"Oh, uh…Spike went for a patrol around some of the cemeteries, he didn't want you guys to have to worry about it when you got back.  Giles and Wesley were going out to dinner and then down to the Magic Box to talk about books or something.  And Xander and Cordy have been out all day with Sierra," recounted Willow for her two friends.

"Xander and Cordy?" repeated Buffy just as Angel was about to say the same thing.

"Uh huh," confirmed Willow knowingly.

"Interesting," stated Buffy, cocking her head a little.

"Very," added Angel, smirking.

"Wonder what's up with those two," intoned Buffy, more the a little amused by the pairing.

"I don't know.  I was about to ask him about it this morning when we were interrupted.  But they've been kinda chummy ever since the day she showed up and they had that talk after she insulted him," Willow voiced curiously.

"It was strange enough the first time they were together.  I never thought I'd see a repeat," laughed Buffy.

"Who knows what would have happened between them if Xander and I hadn't screwed up back them," said Willow guiltily.

"I think they would have broken up eventually, Willow," reassured Angel.  "But they are both so different now.  Cordy's changed a lot, and obviously so has Xander.  Maybe they'll get it right this time."

"As long as he's happy, that's all I care about," relayed Willow, picking up her neglected glass of juice from the coffee table.

"It's kinda like old times, isn't it?  Angel and I are back together, for good.  Xander and Cordy are doing *something*, and Oz is back," chuckled Buffy with a shake of her head.

"Seems like it.  At least for you and Angel, and probably Cordy and Xander.  We'll have to wait and see about Oz and I," emphasized Willow.  "We did have some happy times back then, didn't we though?"

"We did, and I can't say I mind revisiting them," said Buffy, smiling brightly toward Angel, leaning back into his embrace.

"I'm not sure I'd mind either," agreed Willow, a pronounced yawn escaping her lips.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Angel walked out of the bathroom to find his beloved standing next to the window, staring out into the darkness with a serene smile on her face.  She looked completely content which made Angel grin.  There was nothing he wanted more than to see Buffy happy.  She'd had to deal with so much in her life, so much death, so much fighting, so much pain…so much of everything.  For all that she'd put up with, she deserved some peace in her life.  And he was glad that he was the one who would get to give that to her.

Stealthily, Angel slipped across the room and came to a stop standing behind her.  He blew lightly on the shell of her ear, instantly rewarded shiver and a barely audible moan.  Continuing his ministrations, he puffed more air out, then moving closer to press his body snugly against hers.  She wriggled slightly, molding herself into the curve of his body, desperate for more contact.

The feel of his body next to hers was heavenly.  And she wanted more of it, but she knew he was teasing her.  Just like she knew that he was smirking without even seeing his face.  He took some kind of male pride out of being able to elicit these kinds of reactions out of her.  It was torture…really.

"What were you smiling about when I came in?" he whispered softly into her ear.

She groaned, knowing this was just another way for him to play his little games, but she figured she would just play along…at least for now.  "I was just thinking about everyone…how things are starting work out for all of us finally.  I just want them all to be as happy as I am right now."

With a smile, he placed a soft kiss on the curve of her neck.  One of the things he loved about her was the way she always worried about others and wanted them to be happy.  She wouldn't be Buffy if she didn't.  "I'm sure they'll all be okay.  And if something goes wrong, then you will be there to help them through it."

"We'll both be there," corrected Buffy, reaching her left hand behind her head to caress the back of Angel's neck.

"Uh huh, both…" murmured Angel before resuming his torturous actions.

"I thought we were going to bed," Buffy stated, trying to hold in her grin.  Two could play at these little games.

"The bed is exactly where I had in mind we'd go," he huskily replied.

Buffy faked a large yawn before speaking in an exaggerated tone.  "I'm awfully tired."

"I'm sure we could think of something to keep you awake," Angel answered seductively.

"And what exactly did you have in mind?" played along Buffy, her smile beginning to show.

"Oh I don't know…" he trailed off before suddenly swooping her up in his arms, walking to the bed and softly placing her on it.  He crawled over her body, grinning down at her.  

"Lots of this," he kissed her passionately.

"And this," he trailed kisses down her jaw.

"And this," he sucked gently on the scar he'd left on her neck so many years ago.

"Mmm, I could do with a LOT of all those things," Buffy breathed out hoarsely. 

Angel complied, spending the next two hours worshipping the body of his Goddess.  When finally sated, the lovers fell back against the pillows, contented smiles on their faces.  Angel gathered his beloved up in his arms, delicately stroking her back as they fell into a peaceful sleep.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

the next night

"Oh…and remember the time the swim team turned into giant fish?" Willow reminisced with a chuckle.  The whole gang, Buffy, Angel, Willow, Oz, Xander, Cordelia, Spike, Wesley, Giles and even Fred and Gunn (who were visiting) were sitting around the main room after a huge dinner, joking about some of the funnier evils they'd faced.

"Yeah, *you* can laugh about it, but *you* weren't the one the coach wanted to give to the team to be their personal sex toy," snorted Buffy in disgust.

"What?" Angel yelped in surprise.  He really did not like hearing the words 'Buffy', 'sex', and 'toy' together…well unless he was mentioned in there somewhere.  

"And *you* weren't the one who was worried about growing scales and fins," added Xander onto Buffy's statement remembering his foray on the swim team.

"But you did look hot in that Speedo," said Cordelia with a slightly dreamy tone to her voice.  She noticed, then, that everybody was staring at her.  "What?"

"What was that about you being someone's, uh, sex toy?" repeated Angel of his earlier question.

"Oh, it was nothing.  The swim team coach wanted to win so bad he gave his boys fish DNA or something, made them go all deep sea creature.  When I figured it out he said they'd eaten already but that his boys had 'other needs' and tossed me into the tank.  But don't worry, they didn't get anywhere with me," reassured Buffy.

"How come I don't know anything about this?" frowned Angel, not remembering the incident at all.

"It was, uh, when you…weren't around," stuttered Buffy, not quite wanting to bring up Angelus.

"Oh, you mean during my bad boy phase," joked Angel, receiving corresponding shocked looks from everyone.  They'd never seen him be so open about the subject.  But he'd finally been able to put all that behind him, no more guilt was his policy, so he just shrugged at their incredulous looks.

"Uh yeah," responded Buffy, giving him a small smile understanding his new attitude.

"I've kinda missed this stuff since I've been away," stated Oz casually, receiving disbelieving glares.

"You miss almost getting killed everyday?" Willow questioned in a teasing tone.  So far, the night with Oz being there had been nice.  She enjoyed having him around.

"Well, not exactly, but its kinda exciting," he shrugged indifferently.

"Yes, while on the subject of battling evil, I do have some news," Giles interrupted, earning groans from every single person present.

"Oh great.  And I thought I was going to get some quiet time to enjoy being married," uttered a dismayed Buffy.  "So what is it this time?"

"Oh, well, nothing like that.  At least not as far as I know," corrected Giles, not missing the sighs of relief from the gang.  "It's news about the Council."

"Swell, that's even better," Buffy grumbled with a frown.  The Council never meant anything good.  All they'd ever done was make her life Hell.

"Actually, I think you will be quite pleased with the news.  It seems that Quentin Travers has passed away very recently.  As I'm sure you know, he was our biggest foe on the Council.  As I'm told, just before his passing, a few forward thinking Watchers managed to get onto the board and now they now wield a great deal of influence over who is to become head of the Council.  And well, they've asked me to take the position," explained Giles, feeling unnecessarily nervous.

Silence followed the announcement, everyone staring at him wide-eyed until Angel spoke up first.

"That's wonderful news Giles.  Congratulations," praised Angel, genuinely happy.

"That's great Giles.  And don't get me wrong, I'm happy, but why you?  I mean, you've not exactly been, uh, on the Council's good side," Buffy questioned, wondering what exactly the Council people were up to this time.

"As it was explained to me, the Watchers who earned places on the board have been studying your career as a Slayer and what has made you so successful considering all the rules you have broken and such.  It's their belief that their needs to be some reform among Council traditions, and that I, uh, would be the one to help them accomplish that seeing as I was your Watcher for so many years," Giles blushed at the end of his explanation, not liking to be given the credit.

"Wow, that's great," Willow smiled.  "This can only mean good things, right?"

"I hope so," answered Giles.  "The Council is a powerful resource, but it has been quite stuck in ancient ways.  We, the other Watchers and I, hope that we can adjust some of the procedures and beliefs to be a better asset to the Slayer."

"So you're taking the position?" Buffy asked.

"Yes.  It's a wonderful opportunity to institute some real change.  I'm hoping that you will be amenable to it, and consider working with the Council again," Giles relayed.  He knew she had her reservations about the group which was completely understandable with all that had gone on in the past.

"As long as you're the big boss over there, then I guess it's okay with me," shrugged Buffy, still wary.

"I was hoping you'd accept.  I was also hoping that you would contemplate taking a Watcher again," he turned to face another member of the group.  "And that you, Wesley, would consider rejoining the Council as well and becoming Buffy's Watcher, that is, of course, if she is agreeable to such an action."

"I..uh…I don't know what to say," choked out Wesley, quite shocked at the proposition and rather humbled by it at the same time.  

"Well?  What do you both say?" urged Giles.

"It's okay with me.  I can't think of anyone else, well besides you, who I'd want to be my Watcher," smiled Buffy toward the older man who she'd once hated with a passion, but the years in LA had changed him.  He was a much better person now.

"Good, very good.  Wesley?" Giles prodded.

"Huh?  Oh yes, I would be glad to do it," answered Wes.  This was truly a turn of events he did not expect.  Part of him had wondered when Angel moved to Sunnydale if he'd even be needed anymore with so many others around to back him up.  But now, they had shown that they really did want him around.  It was a nice feeling to be wanted.

"Great!  I'm sure the other Watchers who I've spoken to will be quite pleased that you have both agreed.  Hopefully, we can institute some real change among the Council," Giles grinned, happy that everything was working out.

"I'd say this is cause for celebration then, wouldn't you?  I'll go get some wine for us all," offered Angel, a certain lightness being felt in his core over the drastic, good changes not only he was experiencing in his life, but so many of his friends were as well.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

An hour later the group, minus Gunn and Fred who had left to head back to LA, were still sitting around talking, casually drinking the wine Angel had produced.  It seemed like a typical night for a group of normal friends.  But they all knew how precious these moments were.  More often than not, they were busy battling some Apocalyptic evil, so when it was quite they made sure to make the best of it.

It was nearing ten p.m. when a knock on the door interrupted the latest story being told.  They all looked at each other wondering who on earth could possibly be knocking.  Virtually everyone they knew was already present.  Buffy only shrugged, also wondering who it was, before getting up and walking over to the door.

When Buffy opened the door the others heard a muffled shriek and quickly rushed to the entrance hall of the mansion.  There they were greeted with a very unexpected sight.  Buffy, their Buffy, was embracing Faith, who most knew as the psycho murdering Slayer.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Buffy asked once she'd pulled out of the hug.

"I tried your house the other night but it said the line was disconnected.  So I came here to Sunnydale to make sure everything was okay.  I went to Willy's and was told everyone moved here.  What's up with that?" the brunette Slayer questioned.

"Oh, sorry about that.  I should have written and told you.  So much has been going its.  It's been crazy," apologized Buffy.

"It's no prob," hushed Faith, then saw Angel standing behind Buffy.  "Hey big guy, fancy seeing you here."

"Hello Faith," greeted Angel, giving her a friendly hug.  "I assume you've been released?"

"Yup, did my time, I'm a free bird now," Faith grinned, thoroughly happy to be out from her cell.

"That's great news, I'm happy for you," Angel said with a smile.

"I am too," agreed Buffy.  It was then that she noticed that everyone else was standing there slack jawed due to the new arrival, except for Cordy who had an unseen knowing look on her face.  "What are you guys all staring at?"

"Uh…nothing…well, it's just that, uh, the last time Faith was around you two pretty much wanted each other dead," a confused Willow replied.

"Oh yeah, that.  Why don't we all go and sit down in the living room and I'll explain," answered Buffy sheepishly.  She'd never talked to them about her reconciliation with Faith.

The group walked back into the main room and seated themselves on the couches and chairs, anxious to hear about what was going on between the two Slayers.

"Umm, well," Buffy began.  "A few years ago, after Willow had her, err, problem with magic I just came to some realizations and some understanding of things.  And I went up to LA to see Faith.  We talked about a lot of stuff…cleared the air a bit.  After that we started writing to each other and I would go visit once in a while.  It was good for both of us.  We learned to put the past in the past."

Angel smiled as she explained the situation.  He knew it probably had hurt her pride a bit to take the first step in repairing her relationship with Faith.  It was actually a bit of a surprise to him.  Faith never mentioned Buffy visiting her during the times he'd gone to see her in jail.  And honestly, he hadn't expected Buffy to want to work things out.  But he was happy that she had.  Faith was a good person who just got lost for a while.

"I don't quite understand," voiced Willow, not seeing how the whole thing related to her.

"I just, I saw what happened to you because of circumstances, Tara's death and how it was not really in your control, how your emotions and losses were driving you.  And I thought about how I wouldn't think twice about leaving it in the past when you came back from England.  Then I thought of Faith, I never wanted to understand her past and what effects it had on her.  It just made me think and that's when I went up to talk to her.  I realized that if I wanted to give you the chance to redeem yourself then maybe she deserved it too," explained Buffy, sending a smile toward Faith who was nervously wringing her hands.

"So I see that you've been set free.  I assume this means you're reformed?" jumped in Xander.

"Uh, yeah, parole actually," corrected Faith, unable to look at him.

"Forgive me if I'm a bit skeptical," Xander said a bit harshly causing Faith to immediately look down at her hands.

"Xander!  She deserves a chance to make things right here.  I told her she was welcome in Sunnydale when she got out.  If you don't like it then you can go somewhere else," snapped Buffy at her dark haired friend.

"Sorry Buff, but it's understandable I'm not quite trusting," rebutted Xander.

"Like I sa-," Buffy was cut off by Faith.

"No, Buffy, it ok.  They have every right to hate me," Faith said feigning indifference.

"Maybe they do, maybe they don't, but I expect them to at least try to be accepting," reiterated Buffy giving each of her friends a look.  At least she didn't have to worry about Angel.  She knew he was willing to give Faith a chance, and probably Wes since he was around Angel and knew about Faith's recovery.

"All right, all right, I'll try," conceded Xander, putting his hands up.

During all this time, the others had just sat and watched the confrontation.  Cordelia observed the interactions with interest, especially Spike who unbeknownst to the others was staring at the dark haired Slayer.  To him, there was something about Faith that drew him to her.  He'd never met her, only knew her from what the others said.  But he felt a sort of kinship to her in a way…they were both living in the shadows of past deeds.  It didn't hurt that she was quite attractive as well.

Willow on the other hand, although she had never liked Faith, now had a better understanding of the pull of darkness.  She knew its power.  And Buffy had been right, if she deserved forgiveness, maybe Faith did too.  Wesley also understood the need for forgiveness and making mistakes, although his weren't really of the dark kind.  But he did know the pain of wanting to make amends.  And he knew from what Angel had told him that Faith really wanted to make things right.  For that, he'd give her a chance.

"Are we done with the third degree now?" asked Buffy, receiving silence in return.  "Good."

For a while no one spoke until Faith decided to bring up a question that'd been bugging her, plus it would get the topic of conversation off her for a while.  "So what's up with everyone living here?"

The others couldn't help but laugh.  She'd certainly missed a lot the last few weeks.

"It's a shame you didn't get released sooner…cuz Angel and I, we uh, sorta got married last night," Buffy explained, a happy grin on her face.

"YOU WHAT?" shrieked Faith.

"Yup, married," Buffy held out her hand with the rings on it to show her sister Slayer.

"That's…it's…wow.  But, uh, what about the curse and the vampire thing?" Faith asked, confused at the new information.

"Well, ya see, that's something else that's changed…" began Buffy.

The next hour was spent telling Faith about the recent developments; Angel's half-demon status, his return to Sunnydale, their eventual reunion, and why they were all at the mansion now.  Faith congratulated them and was genuinely happy.  Angel had been such a good friend to her, he deserved to be happy, and so did Buffy.  Who had only ever tried to be nice to her, but her state of mind hadn't been able to accept it.  To Faith, it was reinforcing to see that things actually did work out for people.  Maybe there was hope for her too.

When the group had talked themselves out after a few hours they all headed off to bed.   Faith graciously accepted the offer to take one of the extra rooms in the mansion.  Thankfully, no one objected.  Xander inwardly thought it was a good way to keep an eye on the girl.  He still didn't trust her.  But he would try, for Buffy's sake.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

By the time Buffy made it up to her and Angel's bedroom, it was an hour past when her love had gone up.  She'd had to show Faith to her room, get her settled, and then spend some time talking to Willow and Xander, or more like apologizing to them for never telling them about her contact with Faith.  Thankfully, they were understanding about it and agreed to give her the opportunity to prove that she had changed which was a relief for Buffy.  She truly believed that Faith was good person at heart, they'd become rather close the last few years and she was sure Faith was different than she used to be.

Yawning, Buffy entered their bedroom and found Angel asleep on the bed wearing only a pair of royal blue silk boxers.  The sight made her drool instantly.  It never ceased to amaze her what a sexy, handsome man he was.  Not wanting to wake him, she grabbed her night clothes and snuck into the bathroom to change and brush her teeth.  She then silently went back into the bedroom and slipped into the bed, cuddling up against her love.

Angel's arm snuck around her waist, pulling her closer.  He bent his head down and kissed the top of hers.  Sighing contentedly, Buffy placed a hand over his heart, still not quite used to the fact that it was now beating.

'You're awake," she stated in a small voice.

"Mmm hmm," mumbled Angel in response.

"Sorry if I woke you," she apologized, although not quite meaning it.

"S'ok," Angel answered drowsily.  "How come you never told me about you and Faith?"

"So much was going on when it first started, then we just weren't in touch with each other.  There wasn't a reason to tell you.  And the last few weeks since we've been back together it's been so hectic and crazy I didn't even think about it," explained Buffy.  She neglected to mention the fact that she had thought about telling him originally, but she had still been lost because of her resurrection and knew that seeing him would only make things more painful.

"It's okay, I understand.  I'm just glad that you two have worked things out.  She's wants to be good," relayed Angel, his eyes drooping from tiredness.

"I'm glad too," yawned Buffy, allowing her eyes to fall shut.

Within the comfort of each others arms, the lovers drifted off to sleep.  Both wore smiles on their faces for the fact that they were happy and together, and that their friends were happy, or at least working toward happiness.  It was all that they could have ever hoped for.  If things stayed as they were for the rest of their lives, they'd be entirely content and at peace.  But sometimes even a little change can be a good thing as well… 

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

TBC…not really a cliffhanger, but a little hint, yes…I've still got one more surprise for everyone :-)

AN3 – Just for clarification's sake, so I don't have anyone sending me emails...I have nothing at all against Willow being a lesbian…whatever works for you, ya know?  And I loved her and Tara together, but I liked her and Oz more so that's why I brought him back.  Maybe it's not logical in the scheme of one's sexuality, but this is fiction which means it doesn't always have to be perfect.

AN4 – I know this will disappoint all of you, but this fic is just about finished.  There will be 1 more part, and also an epilogue…I'd keep going, but honestly, I'm just about out of things to tell for this story.  But I know you will all enjoy the next part!


	14. Part 14 A Very Merry Christmas

Author's Notes – All right folks, here it is, the 2nd to last part!  Would have had it out sooner, but my fav hockey team is in the playoffs right now which is kinda sucking up some of my writing time…plus I got a little stuck on a few parts.  

AN2 – There's a *very* pro-Spike section in this part.  But you should all know by know that I love Spike (not as much as Angel, of course) so that's why I put it in.  I debated over it though because I know most B/Aers hate Spike with a passion.  In the end, I left it since it's what I really wanted to have happen.  So please don't email me Spike flames, I don't want to hear them.

AN3 – I'll try to get the epilogue done as quick as possible.  I don't think it will be a very long part, just kinda wrap up a few things, and plus I have a little fun planned *evil grin*.  

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Part 14

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

approximately 3 weeks after Part 13…about a week until Christmas

"Ya know, I think I saw someone wearing that outfit at an 80's party when I was in college," Buffy quipped as she stared distastefully at the vamp snarling at her.  "And what's up with the drool.  It's really not an attractive look for the female population."

"You're gonna die Slayer!" challenged the vampire.

"Yeah, yeah, like I haven't heart *that* before," retorted Buffy with a role of her eyes.

"Well this time, it's the truth," he responded.

"Really?  Wow.  Color me shocked.  It's a good plan, don't get me wrong.  Only problem is, you left your back unguarded," smirked Buffy, trying not to laugh.

"Huh?" mumbled the confused vamp when he suddenly felt something.  Looking down he saw the pointy end of a stake sticking out from his chest, already having pierced his heart.  "Damn."

"Is it just me or are the vampires getting dumber?" questioned Angel as he brushed the ash from the vamp off himself.  

"Oh yeah, like vampires tend to be such geniuses," laughed Buffy to which Angel gave her a huffy look.  "Well, except you of course, when you were pure vamp."

"Uh huh…maybe I need to prove to you later just how smart I am," teased Angel, stalking up to his beautiful wife, a lust-filled look in his eyes.

"A-and how do you p-plan to do that," Buffy stuttered out.  He was playing the role of the seducer which he very well knew turned her into putty in his hands.  It was mesmerizing…the look, the sound of his voice, the posturing.  He was a predator and she was his long-craved prey.  Only she couldn't run, she didn't want to run.  She wanted to be captured.

Angel slowly circled around her, coming to a stop right behind her.  Placing his hands on her hips he pulled her backwards before leaning his head down to whisper in her ear.  "I'm sure I could think of something."

His hands wound around her waist as his mouth began to nibble gently on her earlobe.  He worked his way down her neck, placing sweet kisses and soft nips on her skin.  When he reached the juncture of her neck and her collarbone his love leaned away and turned herself to face him.  She smiled at him with desire filled eyes.  For a moment, their gazes held, speaking without words, conveying the feelings that didn't need to be said.  Their mouths eventually found each other, dancing in a time old lovers embrace.  Angels hands roamed her back, as Buffy's gripped his neck, teasing the fine hairs that resided their.

Their hands began to explore each other as the kiss deepened when suddenly they were interrupted by someone arguing.

"Oh why don't you go pour more peroxide on your head vamp boy," they heard Faith shout somewhere off to their right.

"Ya know, I would, but I think you drank the last of it," the blonde vampire shouted in return.

"Ugh," groaned Buffy, pulling away slightly from Angel, resting her head on his chest.  "Why don't they just screw and get it over with!"

"Buffy!" chastised Angel, although he agreed with her statement, he just wasn't expecting her to say it so bluntly.

"What?  You know I'm right," she grumbled, a little upset at having her playtime interrupted.

"I know," sighed Angel.

Ever since Faith arrived, her and Spike had been in some unintentional cat and mouse game.  They were drawn to each other for whatever reason, but all they seemed to do was bicker.  Everyone at the mansion was waiting for the day when all the sexual tension between them exploded.  They'd already been caught making out on the couch once and then both claimed the other was mauling them.  It was rather funny to watch, but it did get a little tiresome.  If only they'd each put away their tough guy/girl act they'd get along much better.

"Come on, we better go break it up before she stakes him or he strangles her," said Buffy as she grabbed Angel's hand and pulled him off toward where Faith and Spike where still trading barbs.

 ^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

An hour later, Buffy and Angel returned to the mansion, promptly walking into the main room and flopping onto the couches.  Both had looks of frustration on their faces.  They had listened to Spike and Faith argue for the rest of patrol and then most of the way back to the mansion.  Then suddenly Faith suggested a trip to the Bronze to which Spike immediately agreed.  It was as if they hadn't been arguing at all.  Buffy and Angel could only shake their heads at the change in attitudes.

"What's up with you two?  Lots of evil undead to slay?" asked Cordy as she strolled into the main room and saw her two friends sprawled out on the couch.

"More like a certain Slayer and a certain vampire spending the night trading jibes," groaned Buffy.

"I'm surprised we were able to kill anything considering how loud they were," added Angel, pulling Buffy closer and massaging her shoulders.  A slight look of worry passed quickly across Cordy's face, but she promptly pushed it away.  Angel, however, caught the look.

"What was that look for?" he questioned gazing curiously at the seer.  He got the feeling that there was something she knew.

"What look?" jumped Cordy a little too quickly.  Angel only stared at her with piercing eyes.  "Don't look at me that way."

Now Buffy's interest was piqued.  The brunette definitely knew something.  And neither her nor Angel were going to give up until she spit it out.  So they both sat their and looked at her knowingly, making Cordy squirm restlessly in her seat.

"All right, all right.  Fine I know something.  Geez!  How's a person supposed to stand the pressure of two superheroes staring at her!" Cordly yelped helplessly.

"We didn't do anything," Buffy replied with an innocent smile.

"Yeah, and I'm the virgin Mary," snorted Cordy.

"So tell us," prodded Angel, wondering what is was she knew.

"Fine!  There was more to the vision than what I told you about when I first came back to Sunnydale, but the Powers made it clear that not all of it was meant to be told," she answered with a sigh.  She hoped that the PTB wouldn't do something horrible to her for telling something she wasn't supposed to.  Angel, though, was worried that what she hadn't told them was something bad which Cordy immediately understood.

"Don't worry, it's nothing bad.  I think it was just that things were more likely to happen if people didn't know they were going to happen," the seer spoke.

"What things?" asked Buffy, frowning slightly.  So far, she wasn't able to make any sense out of what Cordy was saying.

"Faith and Spike.  In my vision, they were…together.  And I just sort of knew somehow, that it was important for them.  That they were going to be able to help each other on an emotional level because of who they are and the things they've done in the past.  Kind of like Spike is going to be able to keep Faith on the right side and she's going to be able to help him stand the guilt from his soulless days," explained Cordy, seeing somewhat concerned faces from her friends.

"That's…wow…the Powers really want them together?" Buffy cringed slightly, thinking about how the two of them only ever seemed to fight.

"That's the impression I got.  Let's hope they don't screw it up," Cordy answered with a shrug, leaning back in her chair.  "Where are our two combatants anyway?"

"They decided to go to the Bronze," responded Angel.

"Yeah, they were in the middle of berating each other when Faith suggested the Bronze and suddenly they were the best of buds and headed off," chuckled Buffy.

Cordy let out a giggle, and smirked.  "Those two really just need to screw.  It'd do them both good."

Buffy burst out laughing at the statement while Angel shook his head trying to hold back a smile.

"What?" asked Cordy, referring to Buffy's outburst.

"I said the same thing earlier," said Buffy, trying to reign in her laughter.

"Well, it's true," Cordy sighed, wondering if she'd have to do a little matchmaking.

"I hate to say it, but I think you're both right," agreed Angel, inwardly wincing at his own words.  He really didn't want to think about Faith…and Spike…together.

They all chuckled at the statement, knowing that sooner or later it would happen.  Two people didn't fight like they did and *not* want each other.  It was just a matter of time before they figured it out and gave in.

The three spent another hour or so idly chatting.  Cordy and Angel discussed aspects of the agency which was more or less up and running.  Buffy just listened, content to be in her Angel's arms.  In the back of her mind, though, she was wondering if there was anything else that Cordy hadn't told them from her vision.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Angel watched as Buffy moved about their room getting for bed.  Seeing her so happy and at peace made him smile.  He chuckled as she tripped over a shoe that he had told her not to leave laying in the middle of the floor.  

"Tired?" he asked teasingly after his love let out a rather large yawn.

"Uh huh," Buffy answered, releasing another yawn.  She was exhausted, barely able to keep her eyes open.

Her over-tired state concerned Angel somewhat.  It was unlike her to be in such a state.  Normally, she could get by on a few hours of sleep and still be wide awake.  One of the perks of being a slayer.  But tonight, and now that he thought about it, not just tonight, she'd been a lot more tired before they went to sleep.  He sighed inwardly, she was probably getting sick because she refused to wear a coat the other night when it was rather cold and they went on patrol.  

"I know what you're thinking, and no, I'm not getting sick.  I'm just…tired.  There's been a lot going on the last month, and now Christmas is here and there's twice as much as usual to do," she replied hastily.  The last thing she needed was Angel thinking she was sick.  He'd probably tie her to the bed and not let her do anything for a week. Then again, maybe she would let him tie her to the bed, she thought wickedly.

"What was that smile for?" a suspicious Angel asked.

"Oh nothing," smirked Buffy, filing her previous thought away for a night when she wasn't about to pass out for exhaustion.

"Somehow, I don't think it was nothing," replied Angel, one eyebrow raised.  Buffy just smiled at him and crawled into the bed, snuggling up to his side.

"So we're decorating the rest of the mansion for Christmas tomorrow?" he asked, pulling the blankets over them.

"Uh huh, Wes offered to cover the shop tomorrow so Willow and I could stay home," Buffy reminded Angel, yawning again.

"Get some sleep, beloved," Angel said, placing a soft kiss on Buffy's forehead.  Her tiredness was still worrying him, but he'd let it go for a few days and see if it went away.

"G'Night, my Angel," she mumbled, falling asleep almost instantly.

For a half hour, Angel watched her sleep, admiring how beautiful she was.  His thoughts also wandered to the upcoming holiday.  For the first time since he was a child he was looking forward to Christmas.  As a vampire, the holiday had no meaning, and the few years he was with Buffy so long ago, it still hadn't been that big of a deal.  With the exception of the year it snowed…the year that he had almost given up.  But she hadn't let him.  She'd told him to keep fighting.  And he had.  Now, years later, all that fighting had finally paid off.  He was married to his one true love and surrounded by all the people who were important to him.  He didn't think there was anything that could make his life any better.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

the next day

"Deck the halls with bows of holly, fa-la-la-la-laaa la-laaa-la-la," Buffy sang off key in the background while she wrapped a silver and red garland around the banister on the stairs.

Cordy rolled her eyes slightly at the dramatics and leaned in to Angel, speaking softly, "I thought Willow was Jewish.  Why are we going all out Christmas-wise?"

"Well everyone else here celebrates Christmas, and Willow wants Sierra to do both the Jewish and Christian holidays since she's half and half," answered Angel while smiling at his Buffy singing merrily.  He'd wondered the same thing a few days ago and had asked Buffy about it.

"Lucky kid, more presents for her," stated Cordy, then stood up and walked over to where Xander and Spike where trying to get the Christmas standing up straight.

Angel remained seated on the couch taking in all the things going on around him.  Last year, and the years before that, he'd spent the holidays with the AI team.  And it hadn't been bad.  He loved seeing them happy, laughing and enjoying themselves.  Celebrating wasn't really his thing, but he'd get involved a little for the sake of his friends.  So he couldn't say he didn't have fun.  But at the same time, there was always something missing.  Like a piece of himself wasn't there.  Subconsciously he knew what it was, but on the surface he tried not to think about it.

Sitting here now, though, he couldn't imagine anything more perfect.  Not only was Buffy back in his life, but they were married and for once happy and didn't have to worry about curses or people trying to tear them apart.  It made him smile just to sit there and watch her prance about with a smile on her face.  This was exactly what he'd always dreamed about for them.

It wasn't just him that things had changed for either.  All around him his friends were laughing and smiling.  Things had changed for them as well.  

Angel's gaze shifted toward Cordelia.  Her and Xander were hanging the stockings up by the fireplace, playfully arguing over whose went where.  The smile on her face was the most genuine one he had seen in a long time from her.  Over the last few weeks she and Xander had been together a lot and now were officially back together.  Yes, there was a strangeness to that when you considered how different they were and the things that had happened in their past.  But for whatever reason they worked well together, and both of them had changed so much.  Angel was truly happy for both of them, they deserved to find love and happiness.  

Off in one corner Wesley, Giles, and Giles' girlfriend Anna were setting up a table with some food.  This was the whole gangs first time meeting Anna.  Giles had met her a few months prior, she was also a Watcher.  Everyone had liked the warm, kind woman immediately and her and Giles looked happy together.  Angel felt a little bad that Wesley didn't have someone special in his life, but his friend seemed to be happy as well.  He was content to be part of the Council again and to still have a purpose in his life.  Still, Angel hoped that someday soon he would also meet his true love.

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud shriek coming from the entrance to the living room.  When he looked over Angel saw that Spike had snuck up on Faith and was now pointing upwards to where some mistletoe was hanging.  He smiled as Faith laughed, playfully swatted Spike on the arm and then pulled his head down for a hot, steamy kiss.  Those two were still playing a cat and mouse game with each other, but for whatever reason they'd been a little different around each other since the night before…they'd been a little nicer, sharing looks that they thought no one else noticed.  They were definitely the proverbial odd couple, but somehow, they were also perfect for each other.  Angel just wished they'd get over the bickering stage so he, and the rest of the group, didn't have to listen to them argue with each other.

The last group of people to gain Angel's attention as he sat on the couch enjoying the atmosphere around him was that of Willow, Oz, and little Sierra.  The three of them were draping white twinkle lights on top of the mantle above the fireplace.  Well, Willow and Oz were trying to put them up, and Sierra was giggling at how they'd gotten all tangled up.  The two adults had not officially reconciled, they had decided to get to know each other again first, be friends, before they attempted to get back into a relationship.  But the others knew it was only a matter of time.  Wherever Willow was, Oz was usually not far away.  He'd even accepted a job at the Magic Box doing some computer and management work.  And Willow seemed lighter, and happier as well.  She'd been happy before, but now she looked more at peace.  Both Angel and Buffy hoped that things would work out for them, considering all the things both of them had been through.

Angel's eyes scanned the room for a few moments just taking in the sights before him.  The smiles, the laughter, the jokes…they brought happiness to his soul.  It was one thing for him to be happy, but for all the others to be as well, that was mere perfection to him.  For so long he'd fought to reach this point, and now that he'd achieved it, it was almost impossible to believe.  It was real, though, and there was nothing in the world that would make him give up any of it.

"Deep thoughts?" came a voice from his left.  When Angel looked over a grin broke out on his face when he found that his Buffy had snuck up next to him.

"Not really.  It's just nice to see everyone so carefree," he explained, casting a glance around the room.

"It is, isn't it?" agreed Buffy, clasping one of Angel's hands between her own.  "I hope it always stays like this."

"Me to, my love, me too," spoke Angel softly as Buffy leaned her head onto his shoulder.  He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Awww, you guys are just so cute," giggled Willow, picking up a camera off the table and pointing toward the couple.  "Smile!"

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

2 days later…4 days until Christmas

Buffy hummed as she strolled down the main street of Sunnydale.  In her hand she held a carrier with two mochas in it for her and Willow.  Despite the fact that it was December, it was an unusually warm day with the sun shining bright up in the sky.  But even if there had been a cold torrential downpour, Buffy wouldn't have cared.  She didn't think there was a single thing that could ruin her absolutely perfect mood that morning.  Her inner smile matched her outer one as she thought about the gift she was going to give Angel for Christmas.  She knew in her heart that he was going to love it and she was happy that she'd figured it out before Christmas.

With a cheerful 'hello' she strolled into the Magic Box.  Willow eyed her curiously.  Buffy had definitely been rather peppy since her reunion with Angel, but this amount of cheerfulness was a bit suspicious.  Buffy, unaware of her friend's bewilderment, pranced further into the shop, placing her purse behind the counter and then moving over to the table, setting the mochas down next to where Xander sat.

"Hey Xand, didn't know you'd be here, would have brought you something from the coffee shop," chirped Buffy, the smile never leaving her face.

"Uh, yeah, that's okay, got a drink right here," Xander answered warily holding up his can of cola, Buffy was just way too lively for his liking.

"No work today?" she asked, taking a sip of her caffeine laced drink.

"Nope, the crew started their holiday vacation.  I had nothing better to do, so here I am," he explained with a typical goofy grin.

Buffy's grin grew larger, if even possible.  She glanced over toward Willow.  "He's here to see Cordy right?"

"Two points for you," the red head smiled, referring to the fact that the part of the store for Angel Investigations was now open so Cordy was nearby.

"Thought so," smirked Buffy.

"Hey!" Xander chided, receiving raised eyebrows from his two friends.  "All right, fine, I'm picking her up for lunch."

"You seem…particularly happy today Buffy.  Any reason why?" Willow questioned to her blonde friend.

"Me…nop-," Buffy began, but was interrupted.

"If he doesn't like the way I file he should just do it himself," Cordelia huffed as she walked down the stairs.  "Oh, hey everyone.  What's up?"

"We were just quizzing the Buffster on why exactly she's channeling Mary Poppins today," explained Xander, referring to the mythical nanny's perpetually cheery disposition.

Cordy cocked her head to the side and looked at the Slayer, her eyebrow raised almost imperceptibly, a hint of a smile beginning to appear.  "Anything you want to share?"

"Well…actually, where's Angel?" Buffy asked, peering up the stairs looking for her husband.

"He's meeting with a potential client…his office door is closed.  So spill," Cordy ordered, taking a seat next to Xander.

"Ok, well I need someone to do a favor for me and get one of Angel's Christmas presents…I'd do it but I don't want him to wonder where I am, since the shop that makes it is up near LA…" Buffy began.  She then went on to tell her friends exactly what it was she had planned for Angel's big Christmas present.  The group all shared bright smiles at the idea, Xander agreeing to make the trip since he wasn't working again until after Christmas.

Happy that her plan was underway, Buffy went about her work for the rest of the day.  With Angel now working right next door, she managed to sneak away every once in a while for not so secret smoochies.  All throughout the day, the smile never left her face, not even when she dropped a glass paperweight on her foot.  There was just nothing at all at the moment that could ruin her perfect mood.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

2 days later…2 days until Christmas

The bell above the door to the Magic Box chimed merrily as Xander strolled into the shop.  Under his right arm was an average shaped, unmarked white box.  He glanced cautiously around the room making sure Angel wasn't around before walking the rest of the way in.

"Hey Wills.  Where's Buff?" he questioned quietly.

Willow looked up from the paperwork she had been filling out, eyeing the package Xander had.  "She's in her office…alone.  Is that it?"

"Yup," grinned Xander, thinking about the total shock Angel was going to get when he opened up this present.  He said hello to his daughter, who was sitting at the table coloring with Oz, and gave her a kiss on the cheek before making his way upstairs to Buffy's office.

"Knock, knock," he joked from the doorway.

"Hey Xand!" Buffy replied with a smile.

"Got your package," he held up the box he'd been holding under his arm.

"Ooooh, yay!" Buffy clapped her hands together.  "Any trouble?"

"Nope, got just what you wanted…of course with the short notice it cost more than a little extra," Xander answered, taking a seat on the leather couch as Buffy peaked into the box, a huge grin appearing at what was inside.

"Price wasn't important, which is why I told you I'd pay anything to have it ready by Christmas," said Buffy, closing the box up and handing it back to Xander along with giving her friend a quick hug.  "Thank you so much for getting it.  Can you take it back to the mansion, hide it in your room?  I'll wrap it when I get home tonight."

"No problem.  That's what I'm here for," teased Xander, knowing that his errands were appreciated by his friends.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Christmas morning

Throughout the mansion that housed the team formerly of LA and the Scooby Gang, chatter and laughter echoed.  The dwelling was overflowing with people.  Besides its usual inhabitants, Fred, Gunn and Lorne were down from LA, Giles and his girlfriend were visiting from England, Oz had stayed the night in one of the guest rooms, and Dawn was home from college.  The group of friends and family sat around the large dining room table eating a breakfast buffet that Willow and Angel had cooked.  Somehow they had managed to get Sierra to eat before tearing into the gifts, although Giles swore some of the others were just as anxious to get to the holidays tradition of ransacking prettily wrapped packages.

The main room where the tree sat was littered with seemingly endless piles of presents.  The site had nearly caused the mansion's only actual child's eyes to bug out, as well as lighting up the orbs of the many adults who were really still kids at heart.  More than one of them had begged to skip the practicality of eating first in order to get to the fun of unwrapping.  However, the more mature adults, namely Giles and Wesley had insisted on breakfast first.  So that's what they did, except that most of them seemed to inhale their food to get through the meal quicker.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, the gang piled into the living room for the opening of the gifts.  They decided to take turns instead of having a chaotic free-for-all.  Sierra was the first to go.  They all watched as she tore open gift after gift, her eyes lighting up at the different things she found inside the boxes.  By the time she was done, there was an assortment of books, dolls and various other toys for her to occupy herself with.  Although it appeared her favorite gift was a sparkly pillow in the shape of a princess that Spike, and surprisingly, Faith together had given her.  They all laughed as she played with the different new items she has acquired.

Then it was time for the adults to open up their gifts.  They had considered doing a secret Santa type thing, but in the end each of them wanted to get gifts for everyone, so that's what they did.  The friends took turns opening their presents, 'oooh-ing' and 'ahhh-ing' at the things the received.  Of note, Willow got a weekend trip to the mountain retreat spa from Buffy and Angel.  Xander was now the proud owner of a DVD set of one of his favorite tv shows courtesy of Cordelia.  Faith got a custom made, engraved cross-bow from Wesley, which she was giddy over.  Buffy and Angel received a picture from their wedding in a sterling silver frame from Willow.  

By the time all of the presents were opened, the room was awash in boxes and multi-colored wads of wrapping paper which Sierra, Xander, and Spike were throwing at each other, much to the amusement of everyone else.  It was the perfect Christmas morning.  Even Willow, who was Jewish, couldn't help but enjoy the togetherness of the whole event.  For the entire group, the morning was the epitome normalcy.  And normal was something that they rarely ever got to experience.  They knew they had a mission, and even though they didn't necessarily enjoy it, it was for the good of man-kind and that was what was important.  But for a few fleeting moments, they were able to forget the things that lurked in the dark looking to harm others.  For now, though, there were still a few secret gifts that had to be doled out, and not just Buffy's gift for Angel.  Someone else in the group would be getting a special present as well..

As Giles, Anna, and Wesley began to clean up some of the mess accrued from the morning's events, Angel looked toward Buffy to see if now was the time to give one of their friends their present.  In return, Buffy nodded slightly, and then went to whisper something to Willow, who then informed the others.  Angel meanwhile had gone and retrieved a small, wrapped box from his and Buffy's bedroom.  When he reentered the main room he caught the attention of the entire group.

"There's one more gift," Angel stated before walking up to Spike.  "This is from all of us."

Spike looked at him bewildered, then glanced around the room at the rest of his friends.  All of them were smiling at him, which only confused him further.  He wondered what on earth could be in the box.  Of course, the only way to find out would be to open up the gift so he took the box from Angel.  Tearing off the paper Spike found what looked to be a jewelry box.  He opened it up and stared at the object inside.  His brow scrunched as he tried to figure out what it was and why everyone would be giving him jewelry.  And there was a certain familiarity to the object.

"It's not exactly what you think it is," alluded Angel, knowing what Spike might have been thinking.  Spike raised his eyes to Angel still thoroughly confused.  It was then that Angel elaborated.

"When we took down Wolfram and Hart not long ago, we managed to steal some things they had locked up in a vault.  That was in there.  At first we had no idea what it was, but Wes and Giles went through all of their resources to find out what it was.  We realized that it looks a little like the Gem of Amara, but that's not what it is, there was only one of those.  But what they did find is that it's similar.  This ring was enchanted by a warlock in the 1600's for a vampire.  It allowed the wearer, if vampire, to withstand sunlight," finished Angel, waiting for the implications of his explanation to sink in to the blonde haired vampire.

The words oozed slowly into Spike's mind.  His jawed dropped when he realized what the small ring in his hand would do.  It would allow him to be outside during the day without the fear of turning to dust.  His eyes welled with unminded tears at the gesture and what he could now do.  Lifting his head he stared into Angel's eye's and then looked around the room.  Typically, he would feel foolish for his reaction, but at the moment, he couldn't care.  Nor could he find the words to express his gratitude.  So he was thankful when Buffy walked up to him and spoke.

"You're welcome."  She knew that he wouldn't be able to gather himself to say 'thank you'.

"It doesn't make you unkillable like the Gem of Amara, just sunlight resistant.  We all thought you should have it," said Angel, glancing at the others who were shaking their heads in agreement.

"I…I don't know what to say," stuttered an almost unbelieving Spike.

"Why don't we give it a try?" posed Buffy, pulling the ring out of the box and holding it up for Spike to take.

Spike took the ring with slightly shaking hands and placed it onto the middle finger of his right hand, staring at it for a moment as if he expected it not to be real.  The sound of the garden door opening broke him out of his reverie and he looked up to find most of the group standing by the doorway.  Obliging their request he walked ever so slowly to the threshold, pausing before he reached the warm rays of the morning sun.  There was still an innate fear of burning up and turning to dust.

Cautiously, he raised his right hand out through the doorway and into the outside light, part of him waiting for it to ignite into flames.  But it didn't.  There wasn't even a tingle.  Step by step he walked further until he was fully out in the sun.  His eyes closed as he took in the warmth that bathed his skin.  In all his years as a vampire he had never really been one to miss the sunlight, but when he had received his soul he began to wish that he could do the things that the others could do during the day.  And now he could.  All because of the people who were his friends.  

A slight nudge on his shoulder drew him back to reality.  He looked over to see Faith standing beside him smiling.

"Sunlight looks good on you blondie," she spoke sincerely

"It feels kinda nice too," he answered with an unusual softness in his voice.  Looking over his shoulder, Spike saw that the others were all watching him and for the first time in his entire life he felt as if he truly belonged and that he had real friends.  It was something he never thought he'd ever have and that made it all the more special.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

For a half hour, they all sat outside in the gardens just enjoying the morning sun and relishing the feel of making one of their friends happy.  Xander joked that they were going to make Spike do all of the yard work from now on which was quickly vetoed by Spike himself.  It was during this time that Buffy slipped away followed by Xander.  The two crept into the living room where Buffy informed Xander that it was time for Angel's surprise present.  Xander nodded and pulled a box wrapped in silver paper with a blue bow out from underneath a chair.

"Hey guys!  I found another present!" yelled Xander to everyone, who were still outside.  The gang quickly came in, all but Angel sharing knowing looks at what was to come.

"Where did you find that," asked Angel, referring to the neatly wrapped box in Xander's hands.

"Over by the chair.  It's for you," answered Xander, handing the box to Angel.

Angel took the box, looking at it oddly.  He had no idea what it was, nor who it was from since it didn't say on the box.  For a minute he just stared at it.  He felt as if everyone was staring at him, and he was indeed right.  When he looked up, all eyes in the room were on him.  He got the odd feeling that he was the only one who did not know what was in the box.  

With an eager curiosity, he began to tear the paper off, dropping it on the floor.  Underneath the shiny wrapping was a nondescript box that gave him no clue at all as to what was inside.  Setting the box down on the coffee table next to the couch he lifted the lid off and pulled back the inner tissue paper.  Angel's head cocked slightly at what was inside, his eyes raised to peer at his friends noting that more than a few of them looked as if they were holding back smiles.  But not his Buffy.  She had the mother of all poker faces on which made him all the more suspicious.

Finally, he pulled the contents of the box out, unfolding it, then turning it around when something on the other side caught his attention.  His eyes widened almost instantly, mouth opening as if to speak, but no words came out.  Jerking his head up, he looked directly at Buffy who was now smiling at him.  Angel went to speak again before looking back down at what was in his hands.  Suddenly completely overwhelmed, his eyes rolled back into his head as he fell backwards against the couch with a thud.  From his hands, a crisp white t-shirt fell to the ground.  On it was an outline of the angel design Cordelia had put on his business cards years ago as well as the words 'Proud Papa To-Be'.

Despite the fact that their friend was out cold on the couch, the group burst out laughing at Angel's reaction, even Buffy, who quickly rushed over to her husband's side.  

"Well that went well," Cordy stated in between giggles.

"I get it now why it was so funny when I did the same thing," joked Xander while picking up the fallen t-shirt, handing it to Buffy who was trying to rouse Angel.

It only took a few minutes for Angel to come out of his state of unconsciousness.  When he did, his eyes quickly snapped to his beloved who was smiling at him.

"You okay," she spoke softly, taking one of his hands into hers.

"Y-you're r-really…," Angel choked out, his other hand hesitantly moving to Buffy's abdomen.

"I am.  *We* are," Buffy answered, taking his hand and placing it on her still flat stomach.  "Almost a month along."

A huge grin broke out on Angel's face as his hand rested over where his and Buffy's child lay.  Only recently he'd thought that nothing at all could make his life anymore perfect than it already was.  But that was just proven totally wrong.  The idea of having a child with his beloved was not just a dream come true.  To him, it was a miracle.  In the blink of an eye, Angel had pulled Buffy onto his lap, engaging her in a passionate kiss, not caring that everyone was watching.  When they finally broke apart, Angel finally realized that everyone was staring.

"A month along, huh.  Damn, you guys really didn't waste any time," teased Faith.

"There definitely wasn't *any* time wasted," Buffy blurted out, receiving chuckles from all those around her.  "Oops, did I say that outloud?"

"Uh huh," answered Xander.  "I guess you two crazy kids didn't stop and think about protection," he chided lightly.

"Uhhh, not really.  Honestly, the thought never occurred to me.  I didn't even realize it was possible for…for…this.  I can't say I mind though," Angel spoke genuinely, the smile never leaving his face.

"I can't say that I do either," agreed Buffy, placing a gentle peck on Angel's lips.

"I'm so happy for you guys," congratulated Willow, giving both of the hugs before turning to Angel.  "Just beware of the two a.m. cravings."

Buffy laughed while Angel just looked confused.  "Thanks Will!"

"You're going to make a great Mum, Slayer.  You too, Angel," praised Spike, patting Angel on the back and giving Buffy a quick hug.

"And I'm sure you're going to make a great Uncle.  After all you and Angel are sort of…related," Buffy replied with a smile.

The rest of the gang shared their congratulations with the happy couple.  They all wondered what sex the baby would be, Buffy swore it was going to be a girl while Angel said it didn't make a difference whatsoever to him which it was.  Xander couldn't help but bring up the fact that everyone could no longer tease him about fainting when he found out he was going to be a father…the others just pointed out that they would just tease both of them.  It was the perfect end to the perfect morning for everyone, but maybe more so for the oft-tortured couple.  All of their dreams were finally coming true.  It was the greatest reward for all of the sacrifices they'd made in their lives.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Later that evening, Buffy found herself wandering around the mansion looking for her Angel.  But he was nowhere to be found.  After checking all through the house, she made her way up onto the hill above the mansion, the place where one of her most heart wrenching, powerful moments with her love had occurred.  Somehow, she just knew that it was where he would be.  And she was right.

Walking up the pathway she saw Angel standing there looking out over the town.  Unlike the last time they'd been there, though, there wasn't an air of desperation around him.  Instead there seemed to be utter joy and peacefulness radiating from him.  For a moment, Buffy just stood there and watched him.  To a certain degree it was still hard to believe that he was back in her life for good let alone that she was now carrying his child.  It was surreal.  The ultimate reclamation of a life that had rarely ever given her a reason to smile and be happy.

Quietly she strolled up next to Angel, lacing one of her hands with one of his and leaning her head onto his arm.

"Hey," she said softly.  "I was looking for you."

"I'm sorry, I should have told you where I was," apologized Angel with a light kiss on the top of his beloved's head.

"S'ok.  I figured you'd be up here," Buffy answered, wrapping an arm around Angel's waist.

"I just…this is where I almost gave up all those years ago.  I'd lost the will to fight, but you stopped me, made me realize that there was something worth fighting for.  And now…I don't think I really realized what it was all for until now.  Because now I have all that I could have ever wanted.  This is what all the years of battling were about," proclaimed Angel, pulling Buffy closer to him.

"There were days I never thought I'd get any of this," Buffy whispered, a hint of tears in her eyes.  "I fought for so long, fought so hard.  I watched people around me die and suffer.  And I wondered how I could keep going if this was all there was ever going to be.  I almost gave up after they resurrected me.  There just didn't seem to be a reason to go on.  But I'm so glad that I did because I wouldn't have missed this for the world."

"Me either, my love.  It was all worth it.  If we had to go through all that to get to here, I'd do it all again in a heartbeat," agreed Angel, shifting Buffy around and into a hug.  

"I don't think it's all sunk in yet.  A little over a month ago, I was just getting by, doing whatever I had to do to exist.  Then suddenly you showed back up and everything changed.  I was so afraid to let you back into my heart.  I almost let all this slip through my fingers," cried Buffy, her head resting over Angel's heart.

"Hey, no tears," soothed Angel, tilting her head up.  "That's all in the past.  It's understandable that you were afraid.  I didn't even know if it was right for me to come back here.  But it all worked out.  And now we have the future to look forward to.  A future with all of our friends and family, and soon we'll have our child here with us."

"I can't wait," whispered Buffy, laying her head back down on Angel's chest.

Underneath the star-filled night sky, the reunited soulmates stood atop the hill locked in a tight embrace.  Their love for each other would have been almost palpable had anyone been there to witness it.  They clung to each other as if there was a desperate need for physical contact.  And there was.  Except this time it wasn't out of fear of losing one another.  This time it was out of happiness and joy.  They knew there would still be hard times ahead of them.  Just as they knew that, together, there wasn't anything they couldn't conquer, that their love would pull them through the worst of times and lead them safely to the next day.

Buffy raised her head, peering intensely into Angel's eyes, speaking her next words almost inaudibly.  "I love you."

"I love you too, my beloved," Angel repeated, caressing his wife's cheek.  His other hand dropped down to Buffy's abdomen.  "And I love you too, little one."

Their lips met in a passionate kiss, arms entangling around each other.  The act was not just one of love.  It was also a testimony to all they were and all they had been through.

It was proof.  Proof that not only did dreams come true, but that even the most forbidden fantasies were not so far out of reach if only you fought to achieve them.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Epilogue coming soon!

Hope you all enjoyed this part!!

...feedback is very much appreciated!!!


	15. Epilogue: Tomorrow's Just A Day Away

Author's Notes – All right, folks…here it is, the much anticipated final part to 'I Dreamt Of Someday'.  I would have had it done a few days ago, but my fav hockey team insisted on having long overtime games.  And I know I said this would be a short epilogue..and, well, I lied.  It turned out to actually be the longest part of this fic.  Oh well, I doubt anyone will mind!  Hope you will all enjoy it!

AN2 – I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has sent me such wonderful feedback for this fic.  I'm so happy that you all enjoyed this story!  I especially want to thank:  Em, Emma, Court, Tariq, us-uk-chick, TK, Shahid, Shirley, Kendra, Reed, Shelly, and Christine for all the comments they sent me.  I really appreciated it!  As I mentioned to some of you in my replies to your feedback, this isn't the first fic I've started, but it is the first one I've completed and also the first one that I worked almost constantly on and really put out there for people to read.  So getting all feedback was even more meaningful.  Thank you again, to everyone!

AN3 – Not beta'd, mistakes are mine.

Warnings – nice and fluffy, with an itty bit of angst *evil grin*…you'll see :)

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Epilogue

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

a little over 7 ½ months later

"Ugh…I feel like a beached whale," complained a nearly nine month's pregnant Buffy as she waddled toward the couch.  A slight snicker from a certain bleach blonde caused her to glare to her right.  "Don't you even *think* about saying what I know you were thinking about saying."

"I wasn't going to say anything," Spike grinned, trying to appear as innocent as possible.

Xander leaned over and spoke quietly to Spike.  "I'm not so sure it's a good idea to piss off a pregnant, hormonal Slayer."

"Hey!  I heard that," Buffy yelled sharply.

"Umm…anyway…so where's Angel, Buffy?" questioned Willow, hoping to diffuse the situation.  You never could be sure what would set a pregnant woman into a rage.

"He went out to get me some caramel sauce…should be back soon," answered Buffy glancing at her watch.

"Oooh, caramel sauce!  Are we having sundaes?" chirped Xander happily.

"No, I needed it for my pickles," Buffy responded, her tummy growling slight.  The others in the room, except Willow who understood the cravings, cringed at the combination.

"Wow, I think I just lost my appetite," Xander grumbled disgustedly.

"Is that even possible?" smirked Cordy, receiving a playful smack from her boyfriend.

The group of friends sitting in the living room, Buffy, Willow, Xander, Spike and Cordy, all laughed at the situation.  The sound was quite common in the once dark and dank mansion.  Life, for the most part, had been going exceedingly well for the dwelling's inhabitants.  There had been some minor evil uprisings, but nothing Apocalyptic.  Spike, Faith, and Angel had been able to sufficiently take care of the troublesome demons while Buffy remained back at the mansion.  After announcing her pregnancy she had willingly stopped patrolling at the urging of Angel, Wes and the rest of her friends.  It had been hard for her to stop doing something that she had been doing for so many years, but it was for the baby's sake and for that she didn't mind.  Buffy was happy though that they had at least let her continue to train as long as it was possible in her condition.

Demons, however, had not been responsible for the biggest scare among the friends.  That was the result of a health scare for Buffy.  About five months into her pregnancy, she had been sitting around watching TV when she suddenly realized she was bleeding.  Her worried husband and friends had rushed her to the hospital, holding back their scared tears in order to be reassuring.  Buffy and Angel had been so afraid they would lose the child they considered a miracle.  The doctor's examination, though, had revealed that a vaginal blood vessel had burst, causing the bleeding.  The condition was not all that uncommon, and after having the vessel cauterized and spending a night in the hospital, Buffy was declared perfectly healthy.  Despite the proclamation of her good health, Buffy was especially careful for the remainder of her pregnancy.  There was nothing in the world she wanted more than to have her and Angel's child.

Besides the few battles of the demonic kind, and the scare to Buffy's health, life for the mansion's residents had been a happy one.  Cordelia and Xander were still together and doing well.  Buffy couldn't have been happier for Xander.  He'd once told her after Anya left that he didn't think he would ever find love again so she was happy that he had been given the chance to.  Their pairing was still a bit on the odd side, but who was she to belittle weird pairings, that was pretty much her specialty considering the fact that she was once a Slayer in love with a vampire who in his evil days had been called The Scourge of Europe.

As for the other Slayer/vampire couple…well…more often than not they spent the night in one or the other's room.  Of course, they still bickered like two little old ladies but it was more playful these days.  The two were able to find something in each other that they had been unable to find in others.  For Faith, it was the first actual relationship she'd ever had, even if she wouldn't be could dead saying it was an actual relationship.  But there was a comfortableness that she found with the blonde vampire because of their checkered pasts.  And for Spike, there was the general attraction to the sexy brunette and he definitely couldn't complain about their bedroom activities…although many times those activities occurred in places other than the bedroom.  But outside of that he and Faith were very similar in many respects.  They were both mouthy and obnoxious, and they both felt that they had something to prove to the world.  They both wanted to show that they weren't screw-ups.  Those things drew them together in, what was really, a not to so odd couple.  

On the calmer end of the relationship spectrum were Willow and Oz.  As expected, they had officially gotten back together.  After about two months of getting to know each other again and being friends, they had rekindled their former romance.  Not a single person was surprised.  Their relationship was different now, but yet also the same.  If you asked Willow, though, she would tell you that she wouldn't go back and change anything to keep her and Oz from breaking up all those years ago.  If they hadn't then she might not have Sierra now, and that was definitely something she was not willing to give up.  Both were happy to have found each other again, but were grateful for the experiences they had had during their time apart.  And little Sierra had taken well to both Cordy and Oz, who was around a lot more now due to the fact that he had moved into one of the spare bedrooms at the mansion a month earlier.

And then of course there was Buffy and Angel.  Two people whose lives together, and apart, had often been some sort of twisted version of Hell on earth.  Only now, those days were virtually distant memories.  Amazing what almost nine months of peaceful bliss could do.  Those who had been around Buffy almost non-stop for the past seven years, namely Willow, Xander, and Spike, and had witnessed the shell she had become during that time often remarked that, now, it seemed like there was never a day where there wasn't a true smile on her face.  Her smiles were wide and honest, her laughs full of life, and the sparkle had once again returned to her eyes.  And if any of them had ever had any reservations about Buffy pursuing a future with Angel, those doubts were successfully quashed.  

Angel, too, was like a different person.  Anyone who knew him wondered if they were, for the first time, seeing the real Angel and not the evil Angelus or the vampire with the tortured soul.  He laughed, he joked, he smiled.  He just seemed lighter.  The difference was literally night and day.  But at the same time, he was still the same Angel they all loved…often broody and serious and dreadfully overprotective.  In essence, he was the Angel he always was, but he'd lost the guilt and inner turmoil that had always plagued him.  That didn't mean he forgot all that had been done by his hand…it just meant that he'd learned to look past it and had been able to differentiate better between his soul and his former demon.

Life was definitely of the good for the now combined Sunnydale and LA teams.  And the excitement of the upcoming birth of Buffy and Angel's daughter had the friends all jittery.  Yes, Buffy's belief that their baby was going to be a girl was correct.  After much debate they had decided to know the sex of the baby so that they could prepare everything.  And they'd also chosen a name:  Amber Joyce, memorializing Buffy's mother with the middle name.  They were all impatiently waiting for the big day when Amber would join the world, but none more so than Buffy and Angel.  But even during all of their happy times, they never let their guard down.  They were always aware that their fortunes could change in the blink of an eye.

"Buffy!  I'm back!" shouted Angel as he walked through the entranceway into the living room where they were all sitting.

"Oooh!  Goodie!" Buffy shrieked in return, leaping, as much as possible in her condition, off the couch, grabbing the bag from Angel and scurrying off to the kitchen.

"Don't I even get a thank you?" huffed Angel teasingly.  Buffy shuffled back into the room and over Angel.

"Thank you!" she beamed at him, pulling his head down for a loving kiss.  "You're the best husband in the whole world!"

"Aww," Spike remarked sarcastically as he made a gagging motion with his finger.

After Angel had seated himself on one end of the couch, Buffy plopped herself down, lifting her tired and bloated feet up and onto his lap.  He dutifully massaged her feet as Buffy pulled a pickle out of the jar and squirted some caramel sauce onto it.  Their faces all scrunched in disgust as they watched Buffy chomp down onto the odd concoction, even Willow.  Thinking about pickles and caramel sauce was one thing, seeing was another case altogether.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

elsewhere in Sunnydale…or more specifically, outside 1630 Revello Drive

Under the dark cover of night, a midnight blue jeep pulled up to the curb in front of the house that the Slayer had formerly lived in.  The driver looked curiously at the house, noticing the complete absence of any light emanating from inside.  The individual stared at the house for a moment before climbing out of the jeep and walking up the pathway that led to the front door, noting the somewhat overgrown lawn and foliage.

A knock sounded on the front door that remained unanswered.  Finding the door locked the stranger walked around the porch, pulling out a flashlight, and shining it into a window.  The light revealed that it was completely empty inside the house, no people, no furniture, and also no signs that something tragic had happened.  But fear still found its way into the figures heart.  What had happened?  Where had they all gone:  Buffy?  Willow?  Dawn?  Tara?  The stranger grew worried, dreading that something terrible had happened.

Backing away from the window, thoughts raced through the person's head.  There had to be someone that would know what happened and where the, apparently former, occupants of the house had disappeared to.  Pondering for a moment what to do, a solution posed itself.  Of course.  There was one person in this town who always knew what was going on.  Willy.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

back at the mansion

Smiling as they lay on their bed, Buffy looked down at her Angel, whose head was resting on her chest.  His left hand lay palm down on her swollen stomach, thumb gently caressing the taut skin.  She didn't need to see his face to know that the goofy grin that had hardly left his face in the last eight months was firmly in place.  Her heart swelled almost beyond capacity at the knowledge that she was giving Angel a child, another chance to be a father, something that he had been cruelly cheated out of years ago.  

Her mind flashed back to a conversation in a graveyard a long time ago, a time when her life had seemed so much simpler, more innocent.  Angel had told her he couldn't have children…well at least that's what he had thought at the time…and she had balked at the idea of having children, mostly just to keep him from feeling bad.  Truth be told, even back then, she'd thought about children, but only ever if they were Angel's.  She couldn't have told him that though, knowing that it would have caused a major brooding session

But now…everything was different.  That school-girl dream she had held so long ago was no longer a dream.  It was her reality, their reality.  Inside her belly was hers and Angel's child.  The concept was still hard to wrap her mind around.  For so long she'd consciously pushed the dreams of her Angel to the very darkest, deepest corners of her mind, believing that it was never meant to be.  It had been too hard to still wonder 'what if' when, to her, it seemed as if reuniting with her true love was one thing that was truly impossible.  She wondered now how she could have ever let herself stop believing.  But maybe that was how she had to handle it all in order to survive the years without him.  Really, though, it didn't matter.  What mattered was that she had everything now.  Her Angel by her side, forever, a child growing inside, her friends and family were healthy and happy.  This was the normal she'd always wanted to reach.

Reaching a hand down, Buffy ran it through Angel's soft, spikey hair.  "What are you thinking about?" she asked sofly.

"I was thanking whoever's in charge for giving me all this," Angel answered quietly.  "It's still all so hard to believe."

"I know what you mean," agreed Buffy, still running a hand in his hair.  "It's like part of me is wondering if this is all just a dream that I'm gonna wake up from and be thrown back into a world where you're not with me."

Angel remained silent after Buffy's confession.  There wasn't anything he could say since he often felt the same way.  When you went through the things they had gone through, it was impossible not to wonder when the other shoe was going to drop.  It was a decidedly pessimistic way of thinking, but they'd all learned the hard way that nothing was ever easy

Breaking off the detrimental thoughts, Angel placed a light kiss onto his beloved's belly, speaking his next thoughts out loud.  "What do you think she'll look like?"

"According to Cordelia, she's got the beauty gene pool cornered between the two of us, said she'd be a heartbreaker when she grows up," relayed Buffy, letting out a chuckle at Angel's slight growl.  "Let me guess, she's never going to date, right?"

"Not until she's thirty," grumbled Angel, already petrified at the thought of some horny teenage boy pawing at his little girl.  

"And this coming from a guy who dated a sixteen year old girl," smirked Buffy, one eyebrow raised.

"That was different," a stubborn Angel replied.

"How so?" Buffy innocently asked.

"You weren't my daughter," Angel answered defiantly.

"Uh huh, thank God for that!" laughed Buffy, tugging Angel up so he lay face to face next to her.  "She'll give you one of those puppy dog eyed looks and you'll crumble and let her go on a date."

Angel frowned at her, knowing that she was right.  He never could resist the wide-eyed pouty look that Buffy had so often practiced and been very good at.

"And then you'll stealthily follow her on her date and beat the crap out of whatever poor boy has the misfortune of asking her out just because he dared to hold her hand," Buffy added on, giving Angel one of those looks that said 'don't even bother to contradict me because you know I'm right and I know you know I'm right'.

Wisely keeping his mouth shut, Angel rolled over onto his back and pulled Buffy as close as possible in her condition, wrapping his arms around her.  Buffy happily sighed as Angel kissed the top of her head.  Not even real Heaven, a place she'd been, could compare to the feeling coursing through her at the moment.  Perfect contentedness.

"Sleep, my love.  We have a busy day tomorrow with the picnic," requested Angel, draping the covers over his beloved.

"Mmm hmm," Buffy sleepily repled.  "Love you."

"I love you, too," whispered Angel, sensing that Buffy had quickly fallen asleep as she often did in her condition these days.

For a while, Angel just laid there watching the slight rise and fall of his love's chest, one of his hands ever-so-lightly resting over their child.  He vowed to himself silently that he would do everything in his power to ensure that nothing ever happened to Buffy or their child, and possible future children.  If anything ever happened to them he didn't know how he would be able to go on. 

He'd lived a long time alone, and a long time apart from the one person in his life who had ever unconditionally loved him, and had made him finally understand real love.  It had never been easy, but he had managed to exist, even if unhappily.  But now that everything that he had ever dreamt of on those lonely nights or hiding in the shadows, now that all that was truly within his grasp, he didn't think he could ever live without it.

No matter what, he would do anything, *anything* to protect his family.  *All* of his family which included each and every one of his friends.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Willy's place…late that night

"Well, well, look what the cat drug in," Willy said in his high pitched voice.  The person standing before him was someone he'd never expected to see again.

"Good to see you too, Willy," the newcomer replied.

"Something I can do ya for?" questioned the whiny bartender.

"Yeah, where's the Slayer?" at the question, many of the demons present lifted their heads, distasteful looks on their disfigured faces.

"The Slayer?" Willy repeated, confused at the question.

"That's what I said," the interloper replied, glancing cautiously around him.  "I went to her house, it's empty.  I wanna know why."

"Oh that…well, the Slayer and her little groupie pals moved," answered Willy.

"Where?"

"Here," Willy jotted down the address, not seeing a reason not to tell the person before him and also not wanting to get it beaten out of him.  Nevermind the fact that there were a few details he'd left out.  That was something he definitely did not want to be the revealer of.

"Thanks," the visitor grabbed the scrap of paper and stalked out of the bar, climbing into the jeep parked on the street.  The clock on the dash revealed the late hour, causing the driver to put off the investigating until tomorrow.  For now, a good night's sleep was the first order of business.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

the next day…the mansion

The sun was shining high and bright in the crystal clear blue sky as the gang bustled about.  They'd all taken the day off from their jobs to have some quality fun time.  And they definitely could not have picked a better day for a picnic considering how beautiful it was out.  Roses and lilac tinted the air with their sweet scent.  Smoke from the grill shifted restlessly, twirling whichever way the light breeze saw fit.  

Buffy layed on a chaise lounge under the shade of a large oak tree.  Angel had insisted that she stay off her feet.  She'd grumbled about it, but really, her feet were killing her so she didn't really mind the overprotective treatment.  It was nice to sit back and relax, take in everything going on around her.

They were all in the garden behind the mansion.  Last month her and Angel had hired some landscapers to replant the gardens so now they were surrounded by an endless variety of blooms and greenery.  The ground had been covered in smooth flagstone, two large, wrought iron tables sat upon them in the middle.  Off to the side, Angel and Wesley stood by the grill discussing the best way to ensure perfectly cooked hamburgers and hot dogs.

Willow, Oz and Camille sat at one of the tables engrossed in conversation.  Camille was a new addition to the group, as Wesley's girlfriend.  He had met her on a trip to England shortly after Christmas to meet with the Council.  She was Anna's, Giles' girlfriend's, sister and also a demonologist working for the Council.  For now, she was only visiting, but Wesley had told them that she was considering moving to Sunnydale.  Like Anna, the group had quickly taken a liking to her.

Inside the newly purchased hot tub, Cordy and Sierra were giggling at Xander's playful antics with a rubber ducky.  Buffy shook her head and chuckled.  Xander may be more mature than he used to be, but he was still just a kid at heart.  And speaking of big kids, Buffy had to wonder about Spike as she watched him sneak up behind Faith, a water pistol in his right hand.  If she ever figured him out, it'd be a miracle.

Tired of sitting, Buffy attempted to get out of the chair only to find that it was a lot easier said than done.  Just another of those oh-so-fun drawbacks of being pregnant.  But she loved each and every one of them.  They were all reminders that inside her belly was a child, her and Angel's child.  For now, though, she had to figure out a way to get out of the chair.  Thankfully, Angel had noticed her struggle and came over to help.

"You," Buffy began, giving him a peck on the lips.  "Are my hero."

"And you, my love, are beautiful," answered Angel causing Buffy to beam brightly.

"I bet you say that to all the girls," she teased.

"Only ever you," Angel retorted before engaging his beloved in a heated kiss.

"Mmm," hummed Buffy happily.  "Food almost ready?"

"Yeah, another ten minutes or so," Angel replied, giving Buffy one more kiss before releasing her and returning to the chore of cooking.

Buffy watched for a minute with a smile on her face.  He looked gorgeous in the charcoal colored, long khaki shorts and white tank top.  The sun suited him.  She'd never really thought about it in her younger days.  The night had been all she knew of Angel, and it fit his dark, mysterious personality.  But seeing him in the sun now, that fit him too.  Or at least it fit the new, lighter Angel.  Really, though, it didn't matter where he was, the darkest of night, or the brightest of days, she'd still find him the most handsome man she'd ever seen.

Finally pulling her gaze away from her husband, Buffy made her way over to the hot tub where Xander, Cordy and Sierra were still goofing off.  Quietly, she snuck up behind the little auburn haired girl.  Bending down slightly and leaning her elbows on the edge of the hot tub, Buffy moved her head just behind Sierra's.

"Boo!" she spoke, trying to hold back her laughter.  Sierra shrieked before turning around.

"Aunt Buffy!"   The little girl quickly stood up on the built in seat, a small pout on her lips at scare one of her favorite people had just given her.

"Having fun?" Buffy questioned, splashing some water on her.

"Uh huh," giggled Sierra, then held her arms out for Buffy.  Buffy complied, picked up Sierra a little ways and setting her on the edge of the tub in front of her.

Unknown to anyone, someone had been knocking of the front door.  No one had answered due to the fact that they were all in the gardens laughing and having fun, not hearing the knocking.  When no answer had come on the front door the visitor had been about ready to leave when the idle chatter and laughter from behind the mansion had filtered around to the front of the house.  Cautiously, the visitor walked slowly around to the back of the house, coming to a stop when the source of the noises had been found.

No one noticed the newcomers presence at first.  They were all too engrossed in enjoying their various activities.  But eventually, someone did see the person standing at the edge of the patio.

"Oh shit," mumbled Xander, his eyes going wide.

Hearing the muttered curse, Buffy looked at her friend asking 'what?' then noticing the direction his eyes were looking.  Raising her head, she looked straight ahead of her and found her eyes staring into those belonging to the blonde haired, bulky form of someone from her past and gasped.  "Riley?"

The soldier took a step forward at the mention of his name.  His eyes were riveted on the blonde haired woman standing behind the hot tub.  She was still as beautiful as before but somehow she seemed different, he realized.  Nervously, he walked the rest of the way onto the patio, stopping when he was a few feet from his former lover.

The commotion had not gone unnoticed to the others, especially Angel.  He watched, torn, as his beloved's ex-boyfriend approached her.  Every ounce of testosterone in his body was telling him to go over their and stand guard by his mate, but the more logical side of him knew that she could handle whatever was about to arise and that she'd let him know if she needed him.  Plus, Angel didn't really think a macho display would be good for his pregnant wife, she didn't need any more stress.

"Riley..wh-what are you doing here?" Buffy stuttered, still completely thrown off guard by the sudden situation she found herself in.  Her friends were perfectly still, watching the exchange with concerned looks on their faces.  None of them knew what to do to help their friend.

"I, uh, was in town, and uh, wanted to say hi," spoke a suddenly shy Riley, telling her a half truth.

"Oh," replied Buffy, running a hand through her long blonde hair.  She stepped away from the hot tub to approach her former boyfriend.  The move left her whole body now in full view, revealing her very swollen midsection.

Riley's jaw dropped.  "Y-You're p-pregnant."

"Uh yeah," Buffy answered, her right hand drifting to her abdomen.  She cast her eyes slightly toward Angel, telling him silently she was ok, and held up her left hand to Riley, showing the platinum rings, "and married."

Not noticing the direction Buffy had cast her eyes because of his state of shock, Riley just stared.  In all the ways this meeting had played out in his head, none of them had involved her being married *and* pregnant.  Thinking back for a second, he wondered about something he'd seen when he first arrived.  His eyes drifted over to the little girl in the hot tub with Xander and a woman he didn't know.

"She's not mine," relayed Buffy, guessing what Riley was thinking.  "That's Sierra, Willow and Xander's daughter."

"Oh."  He looked at the girl, then at Xander who had his arm around the unknown woman, and finally toward Willow who was watching nervously along with Oz.  Something wasn't quite making sense.

"It's a long story," Buffy replied, sighing internally at the awkwardness.

"So you're, uh, married."  It was a lame statement, but it was all Riley could think to say.

"Yup, for almost nine months," she answered with a smile.  She looked again to Angel, telling him with a slight cock of her head to come over.  Better to get this over with as quick as possible.  She didn't love Riley, never had, but she had cared for him.  She didn't want to see him hurt, and she knew that finding out about Angel would bother him even if they had been over for a long time.

Angel walked slowly up to the pair, coming to a stop next to Buffy.  He placed one of his arms around her waist, placing a kiss on her forehead.  It was meant to show in no uncertain terms what role he now played in Buffy's life.

"Riley," Angel greeted the man before him.

Riley again felt his jaw drop.  Then his eyes narrowed noticeably.  What the hell was going on?  Irrational anger filled him at the site of the one woman who'd ever truly captured his heart standing cuddled with the bastard vampire who he'd always blamed for their problems.  

"You married a hostile!?!" Riley growled furiously.

"Riley," Buffy tried to calm him.

"What?" he nailed her with an angry look.  "It's not bad enough that you dated a vampire, that you fell in love with one, that you've fucked one…no actually two vampires…but now…now you've married one…and let him impregnate you with his demon spawn!"

"That's enough," Angel yelled, stepping up right in front of Riley.  The others watched nervously, this had the potential to get very bad.  Spike wisely kept himself out of Riley's sight-line.  As much as he wanted to antagonize the man, he realized that if Riley saw him still with the group and also out in the sunshine it would only cause more problems.

"Yeah, and what are you going to do about it," sneered Riley, standing up to his full height.  He glanced around at all the people sitting there where they had been previously enjoying themselves.  "I suppose you all approve of this…this…sick, twisted relationship.  God, you people make me sick."

"Riley, please," Buffy tried again to ease his anger.

The soldier glared at her for a minute before speaking.  "I expected more from you."

Hurt slashed through Buffy's eyes for a moment.  Then she was angry.  How dare he?  He had know right to place judgment on her.  Her fists clenched as they hung at her sides and without realizing it, one of them raised in the blink of and eye, swinging forward and landing solidly onto Riley's face.  With a thud, he fell unconscious to the ground.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Fifteen minutes later, Buffy found herself pacing back and forth in the living room where Riley was still out cold on the couch.  She'd convinced the others to go back to the picnic and to let her handle Riley.  They'd begrudgingly agreed, although Buffy knew that Angel was standing guard in the kitchen in case anything went wrong.  She was still steaming mad at Riley's behavior.

The groan from the couch stopped her pacing.  When she looked over she saw that Riley was trying to sit up on the couch.  Not inclined to help, Buffy just stood and watched.  

"I could say I'm sorry for hitting you, but I'm not," she stated angrily.  "What gives you the right to come here and judge me?"

"What gives you the right to marry a demon?" Riley spat out, holding a hand to his aching head.

"For your information, he's not a vampire anymore," she stated, receiving the expected surprised look from the man on the couch.

"What?" asked Riley, completely confused.

With a sigh, Buffy lowered herself into one of the chairs.  For the next twenty minutes she proceeded to explain her life as it was now to Riley.  He listened silently, not saying anything in response as she told him about Angel's redemption and their reunion afterwards.  When she finished, neither spoke for a few minutes.

"And what?  You want me to be happy for you?  Whatever he is now doesn't change what he was," Riley finally stated determinedly.  

"It doesn't matter what you think, Riley.  I'm not asking for your approval.  This is my life," shrugged Buffy.  She had hoped he would understand and just be happy that she was finally at peace with her life, but he obviously couldn't get past Angel's former vampire status.  "What are you doing here anyway?  Where's Sam?"

"We're divorced.  She left me," Riley replied curtly.  And suddenly his reappearance made perfect sense to Buffy.

"So, what?  You thought you'd come strolling back into town to sweep me off my feet?" Buffy stated unbelievingly.  In return Riley just looked down at his hands.  "Well you can forget whatever plan you had because it's not going to happen."

"You'd rather be here…with him," answered Riley, still not understanding that he never had a chance with her.

"Let me think…stay here with the love of my life who I'm about to have a child with…or go with you, who never accepted me, or my life.  Gee, that's a tough one," smirked Buffy wondering how it was that he just didn't get it.

"He'll hurt you.  That's all he's ever done," explained Riley, hoping she would see that it was the truth, or at least what he saw as the truth.

"He won't.  And even if he would.  It's none of your business."  She pushed herself out of the chair.  "Obviously you can't be happy for me, so I think it's best that you leave.  And, please, don't come back."

Riley looked at her for a minute, wanting to find a way to force her to understand.  But the throbbing in his head told him not to push his luck.  Pissing off the Slayer was not a wise decision.  With one last look in her direction, Riley silently left the mansion, slamming the door behind him.

Almost immediately, Angel was by her side.  "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine," Buffy answered with a smile that was not all that forced.  "I know I should feel hurt, or sad about…that," she waved toward the door.  "But really, I just feel sorry for him because he doesn't, and will never, understand."

"He shouldn't have said what he did to you," responded Angel, brushing a piece of hair out of her face.  It never ceased to amaze him how strong she was.

"No, you're right, he shouldn't have.  But it doesn't matter now.  He's gone.  It's his loss if he can't see that this is exactly what I want my life to be," shrugged Buffy, wrapping her arms around Angel.

Not so long ago, Angel would have wondered if he was what was really best for her.  He used to feel so unworthy of her.  But slowly he had been able to push those feelings aside.  And nothing in the world would make him give her up again.

His thoughts were interrupted by Buffy speaking.  "Let's get back to the picnic, forget he was here.  This is supposed to be our fun and relaxing day and I plan on having fun."

"Your wish is my command, beloved," bowed Angel, smiling. Buffy chuckled then took his hand and walked back out onto the patio.

Thoughts of the confrontation with Riley quickly left the minds of everyone present.  The only thing they were concerned with was some good old fashion down time with friends.  They laughed and smiled and chatted amongst themselves.  It was just a typical day in the lives of some not-so-typical people.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

later that night

With a start, Buffy awoke.  There was a painful clenching in her abdomen.  Lowering one of her hands she massaged the swollen skin.  The pain began to lessen much to Buffy's relief.  Internally, she chastised herself for eating so much junk food at the picnic.  At the time she hadn't cared that it would give her killer indigestion later.  Once the pain was gone, her tiredness overcame her and she quickly drifted back to sleep, unworried about the pain she had just experienced.

A half hour later another pain summoned her from sleep.  Groaning quietly, she started to sit herself up a bit when she suddenly realized that the sheets below her were wet.  It took a minute before the reality of what was going on crept into her sleep sluggish brain.  Pains…wet sheets…pains…wet sheets.  Her eyes widened instantly as it came to her that the cramps weren't indigestion and that the wet sheets were because her water had broken.

Taking a deep breath to calm her now tense body, she reached a hand over to tap Angel.

"Angel," she whispered, only getting a groan in return.

"Angel," she spoke louder.

"What?" Angel mumbled, not rolling over.

"Angel, sweetie, it's time," she stated as calm as possible.  She knew Angel, and she knew that he was about to completely freak out on her.

"Huh?  Time?" he yawned, finally rolling over to face Buffy and opening his eyes to look at her.

She looked at him, then down at her belly that she was clutching with one arm and then back up at Angel.

"What???" Angel shrieked, shooting up to a sitting position.

"I, uh, think we need to go to the hospital," Buffy answered meekly, not surprised in the least by Angel's reaction.

"But…but…but…it's not time!  You still have two weeks to go!" Angel nearly shouted, having no idea what to do.

"Well, I don't think she cares about dates cuz she wants to come out…tonight," joked Buffy, hoping to calm Angel.

Angel jumped out of bed, started to move to Buffy's side of the bed, stopped, started to walk to the closet to get clothes, then turned back to Buffy.  He had no idea what to do.  They hadn't prepared for the birth yet.  And he'd never really been through this before, Connor had been a different situation.  Running a hand through his hair, Angel did the only thing he could think of.

"WILLOW!" he bellowed as loud as possible.  Buffy broke down in a fit of giggles despite the pain that was clenching her abdomen again.  She couldn't help it, it was funny to see Angel so flustered.

A few seconds later, Willow came stumbling into the room, awakened by the incredibly loud shout that had echoed throughout the mansion.  On her heals came every other inhabitant of the mansion, except for Sierra, came rushing in wondering what the yelling was about.

They stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of the panic stricken, nervous look on Angel's face.  None of them had seen him look like that before.  But one glance at Buffy, who was still sitting on the bed, clutching her stomach, face scrunched in pain, and they knew instantly what was going on.

"Oh boy," muttered Willow loudly.

With that, the frantic race to get Buffy to the hospital began.  Xander and Spike were in charge of transportation.  Spike pulled Angel's car up as close as possible the front door of the mansion for Buffy while Xander moved his SUV and Cordy's sedan off the side of the road in front of the mansion for all of the others to ride in.  Cordy and Faith packed a bag of things for the hospital as quickly as possible.  And Willow and Angel sat with Buffy trying to help her in any way possible as the labor pains wracked through her body.  Angel had finally calmed a little but still had the 'deer caught in headlights' look about him

When the preparations were finally complete, Spike and Angel helped Buffy out to Angel's car.  They settled Buffy into the back seat with Angel at her side.  In the front, Spike sat in the driver's seat and Willow alongside in the passenger's seat.  All of the others piled into Xander's and Cordy's cars, even little Sierra who had awoken during the commotion and was now excited that her 'cousin' would soon be arriving.  With everyone ready to go, the two cars containing the group of friends took off for the hospital that Buffy, Angel, Spike, and Willow were already on their way to.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

6 hours later

Inside a dim hospital room at Sunnydale hospital, Buffy lay exhausted, but entirely content, on the crisp, white hospital bed.  In her arms, Amber Joyce lay nestled, peacefully sleeping.  The birth had proceeded quickly and without any complications, for which Buffy was eternally grateful.  Maybe it was a perk of being a Slayer that the labor had not lasted longer, as it did with many women.  Whatever the reason, Buffy didn't care.  In the end, she was just happy to have her and Angel's daughter in her arms.

Amber was born at 5:20 a.m., coming into the world with a healthy scream.  One look and Buffy and Angel fell even more in love with the little girl with her tuft of blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes.  Buffy wondered if her eyes would take after her or Angel when she got older.  Would she continue to have blonde hair or would it darken with age?  

Angel was in awe at the sight of his daughter in Buffy's arms.  If the curse had still been an issue, he definitely would have lost his soul.  His dreams years before of having all of this with Buffy, and the past nine months of knowing that this moment was coming, could not have prepared him for the rush of feelings he was now experiencing.  There was an instant, unconditional love for the small bundle cradled in his love's arms.  He'd loved the child even before its birth, but now that Amber was here, and he had held her, it was infinitely more real.  

The first time he held her was almost magical.  The tiny bundle in his arms was a product of him and Buffy…of their love.  She was the ultimate symbol of all they had been through, all they had conquered, to reach this point.  Part of him wanted to hold onto her tightly and never let her go, to protect her from all of the things in the world that were out to hurt her, and not just the supernatural.  But he knew that he couldn't protect her from everything, that part of growing up and being alive was experiencing the ups and downs of life.  The best he could do was to always be there for her and support her, no matter what the situation was.

Despite her exhaustion, Buffy had no desire to sleep.  She just couldn't take her eyes off her beautiful daughter.  At least now things had calmed down a bit.  Right after the birth, her and Angel, along with Willow who was present for the birth, had had a few moments to meet their daughter for the first time.  Then she had been whisked off by the doctors and nurses so they could clean her up and perform the standard post-birth tests.  And then of course when they brought her back, every single one of their friends had trekked in and out of the room congratulating and cooing over the little girl.

Finally, her and Angel had convinced everyone to go home and get some sleep which left just her, Angel, and baby Amber in the room.  The reality of the situation was finally starting to sink in for Buffy.  She was now a mother.  The concept was still hard to wrap her mind around.  It was something she never thought she would be, for many reasons.  Most of all because she was the Slayer, and Slayers didn't usually live long enough to have children.  And when she was with Angel all those years ago, it hadn't been possible to have a child, even if he hadn't left.  After that, the thought of having children with anyone but Angel had never crossed her mind.  But now it was all different.  Her Angel was, for the most part, human, and in her arms laid their daughter.  It was overwhelming

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Angel staring at her from his position in the chair beside her bed.  She moved over in the bed as best she could and patted the empty spot beside her, wanting to be close to her Angel.  He carefully climbed into the bed, wrapping an arm around his beloved as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"She's got your nose," Buffy idly commented.

"I think she looks like you," disagreed Angel in a quiet voice so as not to wake his sleeping daughter.

"You're biased," chuckled Buffy, running a finger lightly down Amber's cheek.

"So are you," Angel corrected, bringing Buffy's hand up to his mouth, placing a sweet kiss on it.

"I can't believe she's really here," said Buffy in awe.

"Me either," agreed Angel.  "We're really parents."

"Did you ever *really* think that all this would happen," Buffy asked in complete seriousness.

"I don't know," answered Angel honestly.  "The dream was always there, that someday, we would be able to have what we never did before.  But there were times when it seemed impossible."

"I know what you mean," sighed Buffy.  "Do you think it will always be like this?"

"Like what?" Angled questioned, wondering what she meant.

"Happy.  Will everything always be so…normal?" she furthered, already knowing the answer to her question.

"I wish I could say 'yes' to that, beloved.  But I can't," Angel replied, leaving a kiss on Buffy's forehead.  "Even if we didn't lead the lives we did, nothing is ever truly perfect.  But I can promise you that I will always be there for you and our family."

"I know, wishful thinking, I guess," yawned Buffy, cuddling into Angel's embrace.  "I love you."

"I love you too, beloved," responded Angel, pulling a blanket up over his wife.

Buffy's eyes began to drift close, she felt like she could sleep for days.  But part of her didn't want to sleep.  She didn't want to miss a second of her daughter's life, even though that was unrealistic.  Angel's words echoed in her head.  She knew that life wouldn't always be perfect, that there would be challenges ahead that they would have to face.  But just as she knew that, she also knew that they would face whatever came their way together.

Just as Buffy was about to fall asleep, a thought occurred to her.

"Giles and Dawn are gonna kill me," Buffy lifted her head slightly and spoke, referring to the fact that her sister and her father figure had planned to come to Sunnydale the following week to be present for Amber's birth.

"I'm sure they'll understand," chuckled Angel, knowing what she was talking about.  "Get some sleep, my love."

"Mmm hmm.  Love you…" replied Buffy, drifting off to sleep, completely content and happy cocooned in her Angel's arms and their daughter cradled against her chest.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

THE END!

AN4 – Well, that's the end.  I have to admit that I'll miss this fic, but it was time for it to end.  I had no intention of a sequel or anything…however, there's a little inkling in the back of my head that I might, key word *might* add more at some point.  That's just tentative, and if I did it A) wouldn't be for while (months or so) and B) any sequel would be more of the 1 part ficlet type thing to just give a glimpse of their lives, it wouldn't be anything near as long as this has been, or anything plot heavy.  But I don't know, I haven't decided.  So take that as there may or may not at some point in the future be a short sequel or two.


End file.
